Public Notice: Incel Trolls

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No, he certainly isn't a troll. But we need to stop threads in L&D descending into to and fros with the same members about the same old things.

The rest of us also need to show some restraint. If someone starts to vent in a thread which is not specifically about their venting, then we should not engage them in that thread. We should do it in their haven thread or in a thread they started.

There's a difference between wanting and feeling like you're owed or deserving but being denied. Not everyone who struggles in this way expresses a sense of entitlement, but some most certainly do. There's nothing wrong with validating people who express loneliness, but depending on how it's expressed sometimes push back isn't inappropriate.

Changes will not happen by themselves. You need to do something.

The old conservative republican logic like aye guess you and trump supporters have some in common.

If that logic held true I’d have a middle class job and be living it up.
Work=\=Change/success.
Many work hard and never get change as have I and look behold nothing’s changed I won’t wast more time on snake oil.

What was meant to be a public notice has turned into a general discussion

Very true. It didn't help that the "public notice" was worded like an angry witch hunt announcement.

^ Only to the paranoid.

That might be true, but if he's struggling to figure out 'the right something' and has tried plenty of other 'somethings' you can understand why it becomes discouraging.

Some people have higher rates of failure in this regard than others, so while some of us find 'just keep trying' works, since we've still got an acceptable batting average, for those who's batting average is lower, or worse it's zero, they're going to start to feel like Charlie Brown trying to kick the football while Lucy holds it.

That doesn't mean that 'just keep trying' isn't part of the answer, but it can come off as flippant, over-simplified and utterly devoid of empathy when that's all that anyone ever suggests.

Good.

The more that people are aware of Incel Trolls and how they operate, the more effectively they can be thwarted and contained.

OK fine, <raises white flag>. But can we at least PLEASE STOP promoting therapy as a panacea for everything?! Therapy is pretty harmless and mildly relaxing, like a glass of wine with dinner, when you have social and emotional shrewdness, that NTs call "empathy" as a virtue-signaling tactic. Which use can use to read the therapist's mind, and give answers that either appease them or psych them out. But when you're a vulnerable aspie trying to make sense of world and maybe learn verbal self-defense against your power-crazy family, therapy is the LAST PLACE you want turn to. You will NOT get the solutions you're desperately seeking---the therapist won't give them to you, and won't be honest about it, either. Instead, you'll cause yourself undue anguish and frustration.

Like a retreating army salting the earth, here's something to leave you with. When I first had puberty and wanted to find a girl to date, I knew better than to ask my therapist for advice on it. Even as an aspie, I knew she was rooting for Team Womyn [sic], and didn't want a dork like me dating a girl. Of course, she never said it to my face and pretended to be helpful, but I knew. Or in today's terms, don't ask a fish how to catch a fish, ask a fisherman.

Your therapist wasn't good and didn't make you feel comfortable enough to be truthful with her.

What you really need help to over come is your paranoia.

Not all therapists are bad. Did you not read my experience?

There are people here with serious mental health issues commorbid with their autism like depression and anxiety. Telling them that therapy will harm them or that therapists want to hurt them is dangerous for people who can really benefit from therapy. Therapists can also help teach social skills, which many autistic people can benefit from. I know therapy has helped me a lot in my life and many others too.

Also the "ask a fisherman" idiom is common in the PUA/Redpill/incel community and is pretty misogynistic. It means don't listen to women, don't ask women what they want or what they think, because men know better than women do what women think and what they want. Stop trying to push your PUA garbage ideology here.

And refuted.

At the end of the day, while debating them and poking holes in their arguments won't necessarily convince them, you've also got an audience and you might be helping someone who is vulnerable to their bovine excrement get steered away from it.

It has come to my attention that many see therapy as just talking and talking about how you feel with no purpose other than to get it all out and have a good cry.

I am advocating therapy with a purpose. I've realised I was really lucky to have found a good therapist who had a plan to work towards goals. I responded well to that. If it had been talking for the sake of it I wouldn't have seen the point of that.

I think a good therapist will listen and find out what your perspective on things is and point out where you are deluding yourself. Like a reality check and help you work on improving your outlook.

That's been my experience too, that it's not just talking. I usually came away from my appointments with homework/reading assignments. Then the next session we would discuss what I learned from the exercises/reading and move on to the next step.

He's promoting misinformation about what therapy actually is, it's exactly what incels do on their forums to discourage other incels from seeking help. It's the crab bucket mentality.

^ That's why anyone who goes into Talk Therapy should state a specific goal -- what they hope to achieve from each session.