No friends, but constantly having guys "wanting" me
LunaticCentruroides wrote:
idntonkw wrote:
Have you tried dressing like a man? I mean pants, no jewelry, no cleavage showing, cut your hair like a boy.. try to make yourself less attractive to men. This might help them not be as quickly attracted to you. It's just natural for men to be attracted to a nice, talkative woman who is interested in being close to them as a friend, but romantic and sexual relationships often first start with that friendly closeness, and that overlap is irresistible to men to engage in wishful thinking or to imagine a sexual relationship in the future. You cannot be open, talkative and nice to men!! ! They find you attractive because you are pretty and the combination of the two is irresistible. Most women have learned this lesson when they were five or seven years old, but you have not gotten the memo due to Aspergers or Autism or other social developmental delay. You are now coming to realize this (that you cannot be open, talkative, nice to men because they will want sexual and/or romantic relationship) because you've become more mature due to life experience. For most women, it is obvious that being open, talkative and nice to a man is unsafe due to the sexual approaches or desires to approach with that from the man that will follow, so they only do it in safe and controlled situations, where they know the man realizes it is impossible or they are able to control and curtail the man's expectations! I think it is also a good life lesson to keep 'your mouth shut' and not be so naively talkative as it can get you in trouble with people as much as it can be an advantage.
Rather, most women use this ability for fun and to their advantage - be it to make friends at work with more experienced employees, to sell something, to make a man feel better, etc.
Rather, most women use this ability for fun and to their advantage - be it to make friends at work with more experienced employees, to sell something, to make a man feel better, etc.
I have enough self-respect to dress and look like as I want to do and how I wanna see myself. But I atually I do dress like a boy a lot (sweatpants, hoodie and old runningshoes lol). I don't even wear make-up anymore, but it doesn't seem to make any difference.
But yeah that's what I needed to hear I guess. Thanks for explaining me again how it is from the perception of a man. They all are superficial and it bores me.
I think it's gonna be still a big changement for me. From a lot of attention to almost zero. Let's face reality I guess
Hmm.. if you don’t dress girly and sexy than maybe actually men would be intimidated by it if you did who knows.. actually I knew an NT girl with quirks who dressed like a tomboy and her best friend started hitting on her because he was attracted to her and she was offended their friendship broke up and he got super pissed and jealous because he felt he could get with her because they were close but I guess she did not find him attractive but wanted friends..
I think some women are both gentle and attractive and open which is tempting for men. Some socially shy and awkward women actually jump from one male friend to another leading them on and using their attention kind of, although maybe they do not do it intentionally and are just looking for friends.
I think you are making friends with the wrong men!! Maybe you can find men who have the same interests and are also socially quirky? Are you perhaps going for the popular and sociable guys where you get more socially than you would if you were socially with your ‘equal’?
I personally have stopped being able to make friends so I am not at that stage in my life anymore.
One thing I plan on trying is doing physical exercise stuff like foam rolling, stretching, dark baths, etc. to change my brain to more NT.
I would say don’t give up! But if a guy is attracted to you, and you can’t manage the boundaries and it bothers you, just ghost them.
cyberdad wrote:
Teach51 wrote:
LunaticCentruroides wrote:
Pepe wrote:
That is the case here in Australia,
No international travel, unless you are a citizen coming back home.
But I don't know if this is the case in Europe.
Maybe LC is just travelling around France by plane, but France isn't a big country and I would have thought road travel would have been the go.
Or, perhaps she is being repatriated back to Canada.
Whatever the case,
My best guess is that LC likes to globe-trot,
But I have been wrong about her before.
Which is surprising to me, because I'm usually good at sussing people out.
If LC comes back, she might be happy to inform us.
You're like the analyzer here
So yeah there's no touristic travelling at the moment. France was just a connecting flight stop. I'm moving to Canada and I'm very happy this is finally happening right now. Europe is not my place...
Good luck with your relocation.
Good news for Goldfish21 and funeralempire
That would be one way to get rid of them.
A nice way to go, though.
Much too good for them.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,669
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
Citymale wrote:
LunaticCentruroides wrote:
idntonkw wrote:
Have you tried dressing like a man? I mean pants, no jewelry, no cleavage showing, cut your hair like a boy.. try to make yourself less attractive to men. This might help them not be as quickly attracted to you. It's just natural for men to be attracted to a nice, talkative woman who is interested in being close to them as a friend, but romantic and sexual relationships often first start with that friendly closeness, and that overlap is irresistible to men to engage in wishful thinking or to imagine a sexual relationship in the future. You cannot be open, talkative and nice to men!! ! They find you attractive because you are pretty and the combination of the two is irresistible. Most women have learned this lesson when they were five or seven years old, but you have not gotten the memo due to Aspergers or Autism or other social developmental delay. You are now coming to realize this (that you cannot be open, talkative, nice to men because they will want sexual and/or romantic relationship) because you've become more mature due to life experience. For most women, it is obvious that being open, talkative and nice to a man is unsafe due to the sexual approaches or desires to approach with that from the man that will follow, so they only do it in safe and controlled situations, where they know the man realizes it is impossible or they are able to control and curtail the man's expectations! I think it is also a good life lesson to keep 'your mouth shut' and not be so naively talkative as it can get you in trouble with people as much as it can be an advantage.
Rather, most women use this ability for fun and to their advantage - be it to make friends at work with more experienced employees, to sell something, to make a man feel better, etc.
Rather, most women use this ability for fun and to their advantage - be it to make friends at work with more experienced employees, to sell something, to make a man feel better, etc.
I have enough self-respect to dress and look like as I want to do and how I wanna see myself. But I atually I do dress like a boy a lot (sweatpants, hoodie and old runningshoes lol). I don't even wear make-up anymore, but it doesn't seem to make any difference.
But yeah that's what I needed to hear I guess. Thanks for explaining me again how it is from the perception of a man. They all are superficial and it bores me.
I think it's gonna be still a big changement for me. From a lot of attention to almost zero. Let's face reality I guess
Hmm.. if you don’t dress girly and sexy than maybe actually men would be intimidated by it if you did who knows.. actually I knew an NT girl with quirks who dressed like a tomboy and her best friend started hitting on her because he was attracted to her and she was offended their friendship broke up and he got super pissed and jealous because he felt he could get with her because they were close but I guess she did not find him attractive but wanted friends..
I think some women are both gentle and attractive and open which is tempting for men. Some socially shy and awkward women actually jump from one male friend to another leading them on and using their attention kind of, although maybe they do not do it intentionally and are just looking for friends.
I think you are making friends with the wrong men!! Maybe you can find men who have the same interests and are also socially quirky? Are you perhaps going for the popular and sociable guys where you get more socially than you would if you were socially with your ‘equal’?
I personally have stopped being able to make friends so I am not at that stage in my life anymore.
One thing I plan on trying is doing physical exercise stuff like foam rolling, stretching, dark baths, etc. to change my brain to more NT.
I would say don’t give up! But if a guy is attracted to you, and you can’t manage the boundaries and it bothers you, just ghost them.
I bet Fnord would say: If it happens with every male friend, then the common denominator is the lady.
Or simply the Testosterone.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,669
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
Pepe wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Teach51 wrote:
LunaticCentruroides wrote:
Pepe wrote:
That is the case here in Australia,
No international travel, unless you are a citizen coming back home.
But I don't know if this is the case in Europe.
Maybe LC is just travelling around France by plane, but France isn't a big country and I would have thought road travel would have been the go.
Or, perhaps she is being repatriated back to Canada.
Whatever the case,
My best guess is that LC likes to globe-trot,
But I have been wrong about her before.
Which is surprising to me, because I'm usually good at sussing people out.
If LC comes back, she might be happy to inform us.
You're like the analyzer here
So yeah there's no touristic travelling at the moment. France was just a connecting flight stop. I'm moving to Canada and I'm very happy this is finally happening right now. Europe is not my place...
Good luck with your relocation.
Good news for Goldfish21 and funeralempire
That would be one way to get rid of them.
A nice way to go, though.
Much too good for them.
It is done, Master.
They knew too much.
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Pepe wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Teach51 wrote:
LunaticCentruroides wrote:
Pepe wrote:
That is the case here in Australia,
No international travel, unless you are a citizen coming back home.
But I don't know if this is the case in Europe.
Maybe LC is just travelling around France by plane, but France isn't a big country and I would have thought road travel would have been the go.
Or, perhaps she is being repatriated back to Canada.
Whatever the case,
My best guess is that LC likes to globe-trot,
But I have been wrong about her before.
Which is surprising to me, because I'm usually good at sussing people out.
If LC comes back, she might be happy to inform us.
You're like the analyzer here
So yeah there's no touristic travelling at the moment. France was just a connecting flight stop. I'm moving to Canada and I'm very happy this is finally happening right now. Europe is not my place...
Good luck with your relocation.
Good news for Goldfish21 and funeralempire
That would be one way to get rid of them.
A nice way to go, though.
Much too good for them.
It is done, Master.
They knew too much.

Excellent!
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,669
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
Citymale wrote:
LunaticCentruroides wrote:
idntonkw wrote:
Have you tried dressing like a man? I mean pants, no jewelry, no cleavage showing, cut your hair like a boy.. try to make yourself less attractive to men. This might help them not be as quickly attracted to you. It's just natural for men to be attracted to a nice, talkative woman who is interested in being close to them as a friend, but romantic and sexual relationships often first start with that friendly closeness, and that overlap is irresistible to men to engage in wishful thinking or to imagine a sexual relationship in the future. You cannot be open, talkative and nice to men!! ! They find you attractive because you are pretty and the combination of the two is irresistible. Most women have learned this lesson when they were five or seven years old, but you have not gotten the memo due to Aspergers or Autism or other social developmental delay. You are now coming to realize this (that you cannot be open, talkative, nice to men because they will want sexual and/or romantic relationship) because you've become more mature due to life experience. For most women, it is obvious that being open, talkative and nice to a man is unsafe due to the sexual approaches or desires to approach with that from the man that will follow, so they only do it in safe and controlled situations, where they know the man realizes it is impossible or they are able to control and curtail the man's expectations! I think it is also a good life lesson to keep 'your mouth shut' and not be so naively talkative as it can get you in trouble with people as much as it can be an advantage.
Rather, most women use this ability for fun and to their advantage - be it to make friends at work with more experienced employees, to sell something, to make a man feel better, etc.
Rather, most women use this ability for fun and to their advantage - be it to make friends at work with more experienced employees, to sell something, to make a man feel better, etc.
I have enough self-respect to dress and look like as I want to do and how I wanna see myself. But I atually I do dress like a boy a lot (sweatpants, hoodie and old runningshoes lol). I don't even wear make-up anymore, but it doesn't seem to make any difference.
But yeah that's what I needed to hear I guess. Thanks for explaining me again how it is from the perception of a man. They all are superficial and it bores me.
I think it's gonna be still a big changement for me. From a lot of attention to almost zero. Let's face reality I guess
Hmm.. if you don’t dress girly and sexy than maybe actually men would be intimidated by it if you did who knows.. actually I knew an NT girl with quirks who dressed like a tomboy and her best friend started hitting on her because he was attracted to her and she was offended their friendship broke up and he got super pissed and jealous because he felt he could get with her because they were close but I guess she did not find him attractive but wanted friends..
I think some women are both gentle and attractive and open which is tempting for men. Some socially shy and awkward women actually jump from one male friend to another leading them on and using their attention kind of, although maybe they do not do it intentionally and are just looking for friends.
I think you are making friends with the wrong men!! Maybe you can find men who have the same interests and are also socially quirky? Are you perhaps going for the popular and sociable guys where you get more socially than you would if you were socially with your ‘equal’?
I personally have stopped being able to make friends so I am not at that stage in my life anymore.
One thing I plan on trying is doing physical exercise stuff like foam rolling, stretching, dark baths, etc. to change my brain to more NT.
I would say don’t give up! But if a guy is attracted to you, and you can’t manage the boundaries and it bothers you, just ghost them.
I know an important aspect for my problem since the very beginning, even if I tend to constantly deny it.
My goal should actually be to find people that are NOT quirky, cause that what most of my people were. I'm starting to perfectionize my social skills, so slowly but surely I fall out of that state of being quirky. The problem is obviously that I'm acutal going for people that are soically beneath "equal", that are how you say "socially weird" and it starts to annoy me, cause there's nothing I can learn from them anymore. Plus THEY all think I'm normal and they're too easy to impress.
I'm bored out of that... and they'all tend to be sticky and obsessive with low-selfesteem. This pulls me down.
Thanks for allowing me to ghost them.
LunaticCentruroides wrote:
I know an important aspect for my problem since the very beginning, even if I tend to constantly deny it.
My goal should actually be to find people that are NOT quirky, cause that what most of my people were. I'm starting to perfectionize my social skills, so slowly but surely I fall out of that state of being quirky. The problem is obviously that I'm acutal going for people that are soically beneath "equal", that are how you say "socially weird" and it starts to annoy me, cause there's nothing I can learn from them anymore. Plus THEY all think I'm normal and they're too easy to impress.
I'm bored out of that... and they'all tend to be sticky and obsessive with low-selfesteem. This pulls me down.
Thanks for allowing me to ghost them.
A lot of people on the spectrum are "Quirky", compared to NT social standards.
But from our side, they tend to be the quirky ones.
Do you ever watch "The Big Bang Theory"?
The "Nerds" are the "Normal",
Whereas, Penny is the odd one out, in their community.
It is good to see you know what you want.
I'm confident that you will find what you are looking for.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,669
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
LunaticCentruroides wrote:
I know an important aspect for my problem since the very beginning, even if I tend to constantly deny it.
My goal should actually be to find people that are NOT quirky, cause that what most of my people were. I'm starting to perfectionize my social skills, so slowly but surely I fall out of that state of being quirky. The problem is obviously that I'm acutal going for people that are soically beneath "equal", that are how you say "socially weird" and it starts to annoy me, cause there's nothing I can learn from them anymore. Plus THEY all think I'm normal and they're too easy to impress.
My goal should actually be to find people that are NOT quirky, cause that what most of my people were. I'm starting to perfectionize my social skills, so slowly but surely I fall out of that state of being quirky. The problem is obviously that I'm acutal going for people that are soically beneath "equal", that are how you say "socially weird" and it starts to annoy me, cause there's nothing I can learn from them anymore. Plus THEY all think I'm normal and they're too easy to impress.
Klingt als wärest Du gelangweilt und angeödet von denen, die irgendwie alles sind, außer begeisterungsfähig.
LunaticCentruroides wrote:
I'm bored out of that... and they'all tend to be sticky and obsessive with low-selfesteem. This pulls me down.
Kann ich mir vorstellen. Scheiße, es wär nett Dich mal kennenzulernen, aber vielleicht habe ich ja auch nur 'ne schräge Vorstellung von Dir. Keine Ahnung ob Du auch irgendwann anfängst einen nur noch anzuöden mit der restlosen Besessenheit von irgendwelchem Nonsens oder rein spießbürgerlichen Problemchen, kann ich mir aber kaum vorstellen. Menschen sind mental natürlich unterschiedlich. Den meisten fehlt es aber entweder an Verstand, Aufgeschlossenheit, Neugier, Eiern oder sie haben sich und das Leben eh schon längst aufgegeben.
LunaticCentruroides wrote:
Thanks for allowing me to ghost them. 
Dafür brauchst Du eine Erlaubnis? Im Endeffekt brauchst sie aber doch zur Unterhaltung, oder irre ich mich?
Why German? How to talk nonchalant at all in something like English?
_________________
I am as I am.
Last edited by quite an extreme on 27 Jun 2020, 2:18 am, edited 3 times in total.
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