Dealbreakers that would prevent you from any further contact

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Seanmw
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12 Oct 2009, 6:35 am

sgrannel wrote:

Shebakoby wrote:

ToadOfSteel wrote:

The only dealbreaker for me is if she's taken... and by taken, I mean anything that is not absolutely single... If i'm going to give my personal loyalty to a woman, I'd like that back... and if she's going to leave another man to get with me, that means she's just as willing to dump me in the same fashion for the next guy...

Truth.
I'd NEVER accept a man that left a woman (divorce) for no good reason. Their chances of leaving me for someone else are astronomically higher than the average person.
Now if a man was abandoned by a woman, that MIGHT be a different story, but I'd have to evaluate that on a case by case basis. That would depend on WHY she left.

Good for you! I'm glad you can see through the BS. Older men (for example in their 50s) who leave their wives and go after another, then another, and then another are a sink term in an equation of scarcity for men my age and younger. I guess for some men, one wife just isn't enough.

Tim_Tex wrote:

1. Asexual or not believing in premarital sex, or refuses to do oral or fetishes.
2. Is offended by the Simpsons, South Park, or indie/foreign films.
3. Not a Christian.
4. Does not want kids.
5. Is an NT.
6. Is bigoted or intolerant of the beliefs of others.

Uh, oh this doesn't look good for you. By excluding the NTs, you're really hurting your odds. Didn't you say you had a bad experience with an aspie, too? #2 and #3 are very nearly mutually exclusive. I haven't met any Christians who like South Park, and none of the people I know who like South Park are serious Christians. It's like saying "I want a red car, but I dislike the color red". You'll have to give on at least one of these, I recommend keeping South Park, what with the symbolic Cannibalism, Vampirism and whatnot.
http://nobeliefs.com/communion/communion.htm

Dealbreakers for me are the obvious things like immaturity, character issues, wanting me only for my money, unwillingness to take personal responsibility for one's own successes and failures. This is sort of an example of what I'm NOT looking for:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOMpLA5QTjc&feature=channel_page[/youtube]

i'm a serious christian, and i like south park. i think some of the parts making fun of god are dumb. but generally it's hilarious.

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Boomshika
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12 Oct 2009, 6:47 am

LMAO @ sean. why pretend like you're gonna pick up the tab if you know you want the man to pay? then get so pissed off about it? it be hilarious if the doctor she was on a date with turned out to be an aspie. (he did simply take her literally. she offered to pay, so he let her!)

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Tim_Tex
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12 Oct 2009, 6:53 am

Boomshika wrote:

yeah, some of these i stole from previous posters (LoL), but these are mine:

-is dishonest/manipulative
-is secretive
-is too religious
-is an atheist
-is Republican
-has no ambitions (must strive to succeed and not rest on his disability if he has one)
-NT is okay, but he must not pressure me to change (must love me, aspie and all)
-no sense of humor
-unintelligent (if i have to constantly pause in my conversation to explain what certain words mean, it is definitely not gonna work!)
-is against monogamy
-does not want marriage
-does not want kids
-is already married
-has children
-has had any kind of brush wth homosexuality in his past
-is on drugs
-has body odor/breath odor
-weighs less than me
-is shorter than me

:shameonyou:

We would be almost perfectly compatible then.

:wink:

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Last edited by Tim_Tex on 12 Oct 2009, 7:01 am, edited 2 times in total.

KenM
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12 Oct 2009, 6:54 am

That You tube video is funny. She really should not piss and moan about it when she makes the offer to pay and is then left hanging when the guy says OK. I think he was calling her out to see how shallow she was.

RainSong
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12 Oct 2009, 2:23 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:

RainSong wrote:

Tim_Tex wrote:

If she doesn't believe in premarital sex or oral or fetishes, I will tell everyone that she bombs abortion clinics and denies the Holocaust. Then I will renoucnce Christianity, and use the terms "Christian" and "bigot" interchangeably.

Are you serious? I'd think not, but I honestly can't tell.

The Check Please cracked me up. You shouldn't offer to do something you're not willing to follow through with.

I am referring to the fact that there are Christians that believe that any sexual act not leading to pregnancy is evil (referred to as "sodomy"). My ex was one of them, and that's why I left her. She was unwilling to do them, and if I had watched porn or cheated on her, she would have dumped me and given her family and friends the whole "men are pigs" speech.

Oh, I understand not wanting to be with someone who didn't agree with you on certain topics like that. What I was questioning is would you go to such extreme measures (actually telling lies about her and changing your whole religious view) because of that? And if so, why?

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Tim_Tex
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12 Oct 2009, 2:26 pm

Because finding fellow Christians who have the same views as me on that is nearly impossible. Nearly everyone I am sexually compatible with are non-Christians, who refuse to date Christians.

And some non-Christians think that all Christians are right-wing fundamentalists who hate anyone who isn't like them.

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Last edited by Tim_Tex on 12 Oct 2009, 4:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

mitharatowen
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12 Oct 2009, 2:43 pm

I gotta say... I have just about no immediate deal breakers that would cause me to instantly walk away. There are several things that I don't like.. but I'd try to work out almost anything. For example:

I hate lying and manipulation but I also tend to be pretty naive and would likely believe him if a liar said he would never lie again.

I hate lazy irresponsible people that leave me holding all the cards but I would try to work with them and tell them what I needed from them and give them plenty of chances to prove themselves.

I am a clean person and can't stand dirty messiness but I would not leave someone for that reason.

I don't want children but I would not dump a man who did.

I don't know, perhaps I am a fool. But I think almost everything is workable and I'd do just about anything for my partner. I have stayed with men who have been all of the above. I eventually did end up leaving my ex husband because of some of the above and much much more all piled on over years. But nothing that would make me turn around and walk away right there.

gnosislogicemotion
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12 Oct 2009, 9:18 pm

Quote:

-likes dogs (sorry, but I much prefer cats)
-shallow

My irony radar, it tingles.

Quote:

I don't want children. . . I think almost everything is workable and I'd do just about anything for my partner.

No waiii me too! Would you be my special friend?

The age dealie even works out just fine see:

24/2=12 + 7=19

I wish I could find women like you IRL.

EnigmaticPhilosophy
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12 Oct 2009, 11:00 pm

gnosislogicemotion wrote:

My irony radar, it tingles.

...and is apparently off the mark by quite a bit.
It isn't just about having a fluffy animal around. I've dealt with both cats and dogs in the past, and I have come to prefer cats because from my personal experiences they are much easier to care for. IMO dogs are cool too, but they are also more troublesome than they should be.

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Stinkypuppy
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12 Oct 2009, 11:13 pm

EnigmaticPhilosophy wrote:

gnosislogicemotion wrote:

My irony radar, it tingles.

You wouldn't like the person for liking dogs? Would it still be a dealbreaker if you didn't have to take care of the dog? What if the person didn't even have a dog, but liked dogs?

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EnigmaticPhilosophy
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13 Oct 2009, 12:43 am

Stinkypuppy wrote:

You wouldn't like the person for liking dogs? Would it still be a dealbreaker if you didn't have to take care of the dog? What if the person didn't even have a dog, but liked dogs?

Honestly, I believe that me being with a dog lover would cause some degree of unnecessary problems, seeing as I don't care much for dogs, and there is the possiblilty that they might not care much for cats.
I'd really much rather just avoid all that by making sure the person in question is a cat lover like I am.

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Last edited by EnigmaticPhilosophy on 13 Oct 2009, 7:45 am, edited 2 times in total.

NicksQuestions
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13 Oct 2009, 12:58 am

Tim_Tex wrote:

I understand you sound frustrated, but you're not serious, are you? I could be wrong, but I would guess everyone has their own beliefs about sex and I'd think most would rather just let others believe what they want and find someone who's compatible. Just because someone's different, does that mean they deserve to be accused of blowing up abortion clinics?

Tim_Tex
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13 Oct 2009, 7:39 am

No, I would never say anything like that. I am also frustrated because I feel like nobody would want me for me. I feel I am the type that people settle for when they can't find anyone else.

I feel that if someone was interested in dating me, it would because they felt sorry for me, and no other reason.

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Daemonic-Jackal
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13 Oct 2009, 10:39 am

Some of the stuff I've read on this thread is bordering on petulant.

The potential love of your life could be a cigarette smoker or a dog lover (examples from this thread) yet you'd bypass the oppotunity for something so trivial.

Sheesh. some people on here really don't do themselves any favours.

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mitharatowen
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13 Oct 2009, 10:43 am

gnosislogicemotion wrote:

Quote:

I don't want children. . . I think almost everything is workable and I'd do just about anything for my partner.

No waiii me too! Would you be my special friend?

The age dealie even works out just fine see:

24/2=12 + 7=19

I wish I could find women like you IRL.

How sweet

I'm taken but there are quite a few women on this site who don't like kids, I think. Perhaps you can score yourself one :lol:

Janissy
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13 Oct 2009, 10:45 am

Tim_Tex wrote:

I feel that if someone was interested in dating me, it would because they felt sorry for me, and no other reason.

Somehow I doubt it. Life is too short to date somebody because you pity them rather than actually liking them. Women will not waste precious Saturday nights on a man they have no interest in but do feel sorry for. They might go out on one date as a favor to a friend or relative who set the date up (a blind date courtesy), but that has nothing to do with you and everything to do with their relationship with whoever set up the date.

So if somebody is dating you, they like you.

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