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hale_bopp
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16 Apr 2010, 1:27 am

amazon_television wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

DavidK wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

7) Narrow minded men

Pot+kettle much?

I'm not narrow minded. I am picky. Enormous difference.

+1

I'd apply pretty much that whole list of turnoffs to women (although don't know about the anime, I never watched one in my life and I guess I don't understand the issues at hand), and I'm not in a position looks wise to be quite so picky as halebopp. Certain things just do not work. You'll run into a lot less bad sh** in your life if you understand that.

Patience is a virtue?

Looks aren't really a factor, I am quite happy alone so It doesn't worry me being picky. If I wanted a partner quite badly I would have to become less picky.

hale_bopp
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16 Apr 2010, 1:30 am

sgrannel wrote:

Several items on your list may be ambiguous or overlapping, and may already be decided when you decide you like someone. For example, if you like a guy, then his behavior may seem dominant, confident, smooth and affectionate. If you don't like him, those same behaviors might be interpreted as arrogant, intense, narrow minded, too overtly sexual, or "lapdog" like. Another guy who isn't too arrogant or too bitchy might seem like a pushover if you don't like him. Someone with broad-minded sexual interests might seem crude if you don't like him, and someone else with conventional sexual interests might seem narrow-minded if you don't like him. Someone who tries to be broad minded and is willing to temporarily suspend his disbelief in a patently false idea being presented to him, might seem like a pushover. These are just some of the possible permutations of things in your list, which, when questioned by your friends or even the guy himself, you may use as plausibly well-reasoned causes for rejecting someone, when at the end of the day, it really boils down to the fact that you just don't like him. It sounds like you've been categorizing a lot of guys as having met your difficult criteria because you liked them.

If you paint too narrow a target, many guys may just ignore you. I tend to ignore women who don't seem to have a behavioral target I can meet, no matter how good-looking they are. It's not that I'm turned off, but rather, they just don't appear on my radar screen as having potential for anything beyond "window shopping".

Dude, all it is is a list. Just like criteria lists, Ideal lists: they really don't matter in the end. I've been with people who have displayed many of those traits.

I don't really have any targets because i'm not looking and i'm still trying to get over someone else. But you're right about the "You just don't like him" thing, double standards can and do apply.

Tim_Tex
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16 Apr 2010, 1:52 am

I think narrow-minded probably meant racist, homophobic, intolerant, etc.

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sgrannel
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16 Apr 2010, 2:10 am

hale_bopp wrote:

Dude, all it is is a list. Just like criteria lists, Ideal lists: they really don't matter in the end. I've been with people who have displayed many of those traits.

Right! My point exactly! So that means I should just be myself and not worry about anyone's list. Especially if it's a long list, because it won't be adhered to. The strength of items in a turnoff list is derived from keeping the list short.

hale_bopp wrote:

But you're right about the "You just don't like him" thing, double standards can and do apply.

Also consistent with my point. But even if your list of turnoffs contained only items that all observers, including you, could agree, as to whether a guy has them or not and a guy had one of them, then the fact remains that you still don't like him, if you don't. Unless you do like him. OK now I think I've got it.

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Last edited by sgrannel on 16 Apr 2010, 2:38 am, edited 8 times in total.

hale_bopp
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16 Apr 2010, 2:16 am

Tim_Tex wrote:

I think narrow-minded probably meant racist, homophobic, intolerant, etc.

Narrow minded to me is in all areas: Spiritual beliefs, science, Medical treatments, illegal drugs etc.

Darkword
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16 Apr 2010, 3:10 am

You know, I'm going a bit off topic but as I see this sort of thing all the time and would really like to address it.

Not all people who like anime are absolutely ape s**t about it, its not as much a love hate thing as its made out to be. Not all anime is the same, to say I don't like anime is equivalent to saying something like "I don't like daytime TV" . You really can't just state that with any degree of objectivity, the time a program is played doesn't necessarily determine its content. Just as the absurd style of anime doesn't necessarily determine the content (not that it doesn't frequently, but it doesn't always).

Well I'm for all intents and purposes nitpicking, but as a person who does like anime (not all of it) but has frequently felt embarrassed by the behavior of certain other people who simply love it I feel I have to say something. As I'm sure you're not at all alone in your opinion Hale_bopp.

Anyway my turn offs are as follows:
Narrow-mindedness (ironic since I'm making a list of things I supposedly cannot tolerate) lols
excessive neediness
sports obsession that seems to begin and end on the television
A lack of interest in reading (a lack of curiosity) (dyslexics exempted)

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Last edited by Darkword on 16 Apr 2010, 2:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.

ToadOfSteel
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16 Apr 2010, 9:21 am

hale_bopp wrote:

Tim_Tex wrote:

I think narrow-minded probably meant racist, homophobic, intolerant, etc.

Narrow minded to me is in all areas: Spiritual beliefs, science, Medical treatments, illegal drugs etc.

What if you are open to other people doing what they want, but choose not to yourself? I.e. I don't mind people out there that drink, but I would never drink myself... Is that narrow-minded or not?

hale_bopp
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16 Apr 2010, 12:29 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

Tim_Tex wrote:

I think narrow-minded probably meant racist, homophobic, intolerant, etc.

Narrow minded to me is in all areas: Spiritual beliefs, science, Medical treatments, illegal drugs etc.

What if you are open to other people doing what they want, but choose not to yourself? I.e. I don't mind people out there that drink, but I would never drink myself... Is that narrow-minded or not?

No, thats open minded. It's a personal choice and thats accepting those different from you.

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16 Apr 2010, 1:35 pm

In NO particular order:

1) Ignorance
2) Indifference
3) Hyperjudgmentality(as in stating opinions as facts)
4) Social Aggression(cattiness & passive aggressive behavior)
5) Dishonesty
6) Manipulation
7) Egotism/Narcissism
8 ) Refusing to admit to being wrong when you obviously are(wrong).
9) Attention whoring
10 Fickleness/Capriciousness
11) Sarcasm
12) Insensitivity

Tim_Tex
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16 Apr 2010, 1:45 pm

What is cattiness?

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HopeGrows
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16 Apr 2010, 1:58 pm

Darkword wrote:

Just as the absurd style of anime doesn't necessarily determine the content (not that it doesn't frequently, but it doesn't always).

All your base r belong to us?

:lmao:

@Tim_Tex, cattiness = gossiping, saying mean things about people.

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DavidM
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16 Apr 2010, 2:02 pm

Here are some other peculiar things that arouse my suspicions.

Girls who have lots of male 'friends'.

Girls who like to 'cuddle' their male friends.

Girls who like to 'cuddle' but don't like to get down to business: a most queer thing. A good 'doing' is so much better than a mere cuddle that I suspect she is not so much against sex but against having sex with the male she is cuddling. This means she either thinks you're queer or you'd be a crap shag. In either case, it is an abomination and the man is duty bound to restore his honour and dignity.

Girls who come round to give you oral sex but stop during the foreplay period to answer their mobile phone.

Girls who are sensible: and stay well away from the likes of me. :roll:

ToadOfSteel
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16 Apr 2010, 2:15 pm

DavidM wrote:

Girls who are sensible: and stay well away from the likes of me. :roll:

If you get turned off by a woman for any of those (other than the oral sex one), send her my way... :roll:

hale_bopp
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16 Apr 2010, 4:20 pm

Darkword wrote:

Not all anime is the same, to say I don't like anime is equivalent to saying something like "I don't like daytime TV" . You really can't just state that with any degree of objectivity, the time a program is played doesn't necessarily determine its content. Just as the absurd style of anime doesn't necessarily determine the content (not that it doesn't frequently, but it doesn't always).

You're missing the point.

To someone who doesn't care about anime, it is all the same. Its a Japanese cartoon that for some reason they have to watch in japanese. Waching th odd one in English is sweet, I guess it's the obsessiveness I find more unattractive than the actual anime, downloading stuff religiously, saying Japanese phrases etc.

I guess I'm more against Japan-ophiles, than anime alone.

amazon_television
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16 Apr 2010, 4:48 pm

hale_bopp wrote:

amazon_television wrote:

Looks aren't really a factor, I am quite happy alone so It doesn't worry me being picky. If I wanted a partner quite badly I would have to become less picky.

Naw sorry I didn't say that quite right. I wasn't talking about your standards concerning looks, what I meant was that I am every bit as picky as you are in general, and you (as an attractive woman) probably have a higher chance than someone such as me (an average looking dirtbag dude) of getting with someone who meets "rigorous standards".

But I do agree with you, I'm just fine with being alone, and someone who is not going to make me "more just fine" than that without question is not worth my time.

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sgrannel
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16 Apr 2010, 9:45 pm

hale_bopp wrote:

I guess I'm more against Japan-ophiles, than anime alone.

I take it you don't speak Japanese, then? Neither do I, but for my next business meeting, knowing Japanese might be useful. Someday I might visit Mount Fuji, but I'm not obsessed with it though.

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