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Inter-racial dating Issues

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Weiss_Yohji
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01 Jul 2010, 1:42 am

Dox47 wrote:
I've dated quite a few black and Latina girls, and the only times I've ever experienced any overt racism was from black men when I've been in public with a black girlfriend, I'm not quite sure what that's all about.


Why would black men who've seen you and your girl be so pissed off? It's no different from them dating white women. They're both two sides of the same coin.

As for me, I find race irrelevant. We're all the same inside, and in a few generations, I'm sure we'll all end up one race anyway. Our differences are just cultural.



GoatOnFire
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01 Jul 2010, 2:24 am

hartzofspace wrote:
8O Well, talk about attracting unwanted attention... :roll:

Not with good makeup. If it's good enough no one will be able to tell.
hartzofspace wrote:
BTW, I am not looking for ways to control the uncontrollable. I am looking for input from others in similar situations, and how they handle it.

Oh.
hartzofspace wrote:
Does anyone else date someone outside their race? If so, how do you handle the extra attention? I find that when I am out and about with my guy, people stare at us.

So this is an issue of being stared at. Judging from this description I'm not sure this has anything to do with race at all (I'm not saying it doesn't). I'm not entirely convinced it's an issue anymore, I live in Texas which isn't exactly noted as a paragon of tolerance and even people here don't seem to bat an eye whenever they see an interracial couple. Any couple that PDAs runs a risk of being stared at, it's hard to tell if two people walking together are a couple unless they hold hands or more.

As to how to disperse a starer, it would probably work to stare right back at them, they will probably avert their gaze. Or if you see them staring, look at them and say "take a picture, it'll last longer" and they should get the point.


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ToughDiamond
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01 Jul 2010, 5:10 am

hartzofspace wrote:
ToughDiamond wrote:
But she had little understanding or interest in that kind of approach to relationships (identifying the problems and working at fixing them). Maybe interpersonal conflict resolution is just a white, middle-class thing?

I once dated a guy who was Hispanic. I had that problem with him; the whole concept of counseling, or talking things through, was alien to him, so the relationship failed. It was a mostly a clash of our respective cultural values.

Mine was superficially interested in counselling and in "discussing" our problems, but would then seek to turn the whole thing into a game of push and shove, just trying to force her opinions onto me and piling on more and more arguments in support of her own view. I just don't see how anybody could be content with that in what's supposed to be a loving relationship.