Sexually triggered nervous breakdowns?

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I didn't have friends growing up, I was sick a lot and moved schools
long story
I was also diagnosed at 13
hell I've been working longer then I've "had" AS

I didn't really have that many friends until college. I was a real b***h in high school. XD

I was diagnosed when I was 16. It helped me understand myself which lead to me maturing and growing as a person.

I think you might be on to something but I don't know if it's so much not wanting to learn but not being able to see the other side of the coin. For many of us we haven't developed or progressed in theory of mind for our lack of interelationship skills. I know before I was diagnosed with AS or knew anything about it, I was completely unaware of how I projected myself to other people....still am to some extent. I knew nothing about the lack of eye contact, the subtle cues and languages I was missing.

Anyway I'm not good at ellaborting..I'd be curious what tech8 would have to say about this....

I knew there was something wrong with me, even when I was a small child

some refuse to learn and want the world to bend to their whims-like its their god given right
others don't realize what they're doing and don't see themselves as doing anything wrong
and there are those who do realize, and try to conform to the world as best they can

Thaaaaaaaaaaaat's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

and thus you can live in the real world
and function normally

Most of the time. I still meltdown sometimes but I'm getting better! >.<

I never meltdown

Luuucckyyyyyyyyyyy. My meltdowns are the only way that blow my cover as an Aspie. When I'm calm, my friends say I'm a stealth Aspie and most people can't tell unless I tell them.

no one knows I have AS

They don't have to know either.

1) That's definitely not a nervous breakdown - a nervous breakdown is adrenal failure, if you have problems with that cut out caffein, otherwise bouts of emotional disappointment with life as you described are something entirely different.

2) The common problem with guys and girls who can't make things happen is that we have a animal to human ratio (animal - basal stuff, human - the sort of enlightened/religious/spiritual/societal/higher-abstraction) and those who have terrible luck in this department shift too far to the human side at the expense of the animal. Once your personality is set to draw much more happiness out of the human side and the animal side seems like going through such motions is a direct expense against whatever you would gain from doing what works, enough to even void all benefit. I can guarantee that you're friends will continue to have encounters around you, whether its a guy or girl who has a more dry/cerebral personality his or her more organic friends will be having lots of luck or at least monthly dating luck while they've been in dry spells for years.

I can't give you advice on how to fix this one or whether you should even try - the guy's I know who have given themselves over to trampling their cerebral side or hiding it whenever possible and trying to be as basic as they can still have only modest luck at best, it seems to take life-long development in that direction and authentic core motivations from that kind of place. Women fall on the same hard times as well - ie. no matter how attractive a woman is, if she has a dry personality the same exact thing will happen to her that will happen to a guy. All of that is the downside. The silver-lining, quite often being able to land these dates easy - for whatever physical or romantic affection their able to land - the typical types of emotional abuse and stress in relationships are so common that its often times questionable whether you'd really want to be in their shoes. Add to that - the cerebral, when they do find someone who fits them, are in a much better position to have the kinds of relationships that most people only thought existed on paper.

So, lots of trade-offs with our nature but, plenty of agony and self-beating through our early and mid 20's over where society or our friends tell us we're coming up short? Certainly.

I agree tech step

I think that it is a lot of stress for a not-animal-enough guy to do it and they are happier to find a suited person. I have had fun trying in the past though. I remember one time I wanted a fun woman who was a party animal, and i went home and saw a book on the cold war i was reading and felt so lame for reading too much.

I just feel so jealous of those who have the balance between the two, ie they can hold down highbrow jobs and get education success, but also let their hair down and have social fun well.

Techstep - I can see how we aspies use way too much logic when it comes to how we function in the real world, I've noticed the really social butterflies taking risks and doing things that makes them look like fools but it somehow works for attention and ultimately friendship with the other sex. OTOH, we function like a computer or a safety critical/life critical system - we avoid behaviors that are "risky" via logic and reasoning and if we do find ourselves in that situation we freeze up and just can't handle our problem - very much like how a computer will BSOD or kernel panic. We can certainly train ourselves to handle social situations like an NT person can but it's painful and difficult. Plus I've been faced with failure all my life. I don't care if Soichiro Honda says success is 99% failure, it just feels like life has given me many curveballs.

I don't know if this is a good analogy, guys.

The funny thing about it though, even if you are into partying, hitting the clubs, drinking, and doing at least semi-risky things that other man's men you know do - if you're core tendencies are reserved/conservative it'll perhaps get you a good network of guy friends but with the opposite sex there's still enough repel where it'll only make so much difference. If something does work, regardless of what she might look like on appearance, you'll find out that she is a geek who's similarly covering it up - either to try to do better or just to get the world to take her for the full her.

Girls in this situation as well - you'd probably want to shoot to be as well-rounded as you can, developing a good sense of humor, learning to be open for social fun, know how to dress fashionably but, ultimately, if the guy's not a well-rounded geek-at-heart himself it likely won't work.

Again, risk taking can help but - a lot the guys I knew who were even exceptionally good on sport bikes and had a lot of bike and skill to show off or who could master extreme sports, if they were nerds at heart to begin with it helped a little, smoothing the geek out of the social skills helped, but, the world in some way can almost always tell who you originally were and it tend to be largely inflexible on its stance regardless of who you try to assert yourself as.