Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Too Clingy?

Page 3 of 3 [ 38 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3

Previous topic | Next topic

Been called clingy?
yes 61%  61%  [ 38 ]
no 39%  39%  [ 24 ]
Total votes : 62

Beauty_pact
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Oct 2010
Age: 145
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,314
Location: Svíþjoð

23 Oct 2010, 10:22 am

hale_bopp wrote:
It must be your age then, because as you get older the desire for a clingy obsessive partner wanes. People grow up. Men don't want a child, they want a woman who they are an equal too, not something who clings to them. And no, secure guys don't behave like that. Those ones are terribly insecure.

You are either quite young or have the mentality of a boy regardless of age.


Okay, thanks for the compliment. I am well over 29. My desire to have a clingy, obsessive girlfriend has only increased with my age, so I suppose I'm behaving in direct contrast to the vast majority of humanity, then. I don't want an equal, either, and I want her to behave very child-like in many ways. I want someone to take care of, and someone who feels the need for me to do that. That does not make me have the mind of a little boy, but if you believe that then I suppose I'm fine with it. I don't expect anyone to understand me, anymore. But at least there is one girl out there who does.



sgrannel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Feb 2008
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,919

25 Oct 2010, 10:37 am

The conclusion that it would be nice if potential partners were more clingy, is the result of confusion of clingy-ness with something else. If you've had trouble attracting or keeping a partner, then to you it would seem nice if the other people were more clingy, right? It's the confusion about reasons for rejection, not how manly or mature or ladylike a person happens to be, that is the root of this issue.

Clingy-ness of a borderline or dependent or manipulative flavor is uncomfortable and a little scary or even abusive.

However, when you consider the extreme opposite of clingy-ness, that is, distant, aloof and uninterested, then the reasons for wanting a romantic partner who is just a little clingy should be obvious. But not too much, because too much is bad, by definition. That's how it gets to be too much. Circular argument.


_________________
A boy and his dog can go walking
A boy and his dog sometimes talk to each other
A boy and a dog can be happy sitting down in the woods on a log
But a dog knows his boy can go wrong


Last edited by sgrannel on 25 Oct 2010, 11:42 am, edited 1 time in total.

ToadOfSteel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Sep 2007
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,157
Location: New Jersey

25 Oct 2010, 10:51 am

hale_bopp wrote:
It must be your age then, because as you get older the desire for a clingy obsessive partner wanes. People grow up. Men don't want a child, they want a woman who they are an equal too, not something who clings to them. And no, secure guys don't behave like that. Those ones are terribly insecure.

Why does "clingy" immediately mean that the relationship is not of equals? I don't know about you, but I enjoy the thought of knowing that someone won't leave me over some stupid issue that could otherwise be worked through with minimal effort... And for that, you do need a bit of cling. If he/she is not clingy at all, chances are that he/she is a flake and will leave you with no warning and often times for no discernable reason.

sgrannel wrote:
Clingy-ness of a borderline or dependent or manipulative flavor is uncomfortable and a little scary or even abusive.


I'd have to agree here though... while I want a clingy woman, i don't want someone that needs to spend all her time with me 24/7. But having the trust there, that even when you're doing your own things, that you're still a couple, is essential.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

25 Oct 2010, 1:04 pm

Talking about too clingy....

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAlQoei16AM[/youtube]

"I'm gonna hug you and kiss you and love you .....to death!"



Sean_91
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 9 May 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 156
Location: Colorado

25 Oct 2010, 3:32 pm

sgrannel wrote:
The conclusion that it would be nice if potential partners were more clingy, is the result of confusion of clingy-ness with something else. If you've had trouble attracting or keeping a partner, then to you it would seem nice if the other people were more clingy, right? It's the confusion about reasons for rejection, not how manly or mature or ladylike a person happens to be, that is the root of this issue.

Clingy-ness of a borderline or dependent or manipulative flavor is uncomfortable and a little scary or even abusive.

However, when you consider the extreme opposite of clingy-ness, that is, distant, aloof and uninterested, then the reasons for wanting a romantic partner who is just a little clingy should be obvious. But not too much, because too much is bad, by definition. That's how it gets to be too much. Circular argument.


I find it okay for a girl to be a little clingy. But what's weird is that when I am being even just a little clingy, I fear that I am being too clingy.



sgrannel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Feb 2008
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,919

25 Oct 2010, 4:31 pm

At 5:57, the little girl says "I'm gonna take you home and love you and feed you and fix you and kiss you and everything!".

http://www.veoh.com/browse/videos/category/animation/watch/v17159105THScemjE


_________________
A boy and his dog can go walking
A boy and his dog sometimes talk to each other
A boy and a dog can be happy sitting down in the woods on a log
But a dog knows his boy can go wrong