Would You Date This Man? (Either Sex)

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Not really. I don't have many friends to meet people through (the avenue for my only previous relationship), I work in a small team with only two girls, one lesbian and one that I'm not remotely interested in, I can't meet people when I'm in pubs or clubs as I either don't know what to say or say too much depending on how it's happened. I've joined a friendship group recently and am due to go to my first meeting later this month but as there is a large 40+ membership I can't rely on that for a partner. Where else is there?

The other side of the world thing shouldn't matter - I'm just trying to get a hypothetical response so am looking for people to ignore age, location, sexuality, etc. - but you have the religious objection anyway so it doesn't matter!

I'm not saying that I'd remove the sports part all together, I'm just wondering if the way I've writen it makes it seem more important to me than it is. It's only United matches I care about watching, I watch other stuff sometimes to kill time but not too often, I only really mention sports (plaural) incase the reader is into them so they can see I wouldn't object to watching them.

Your profile looks fantastic. Your tone is light but you aren't shallow in the information you provide. You strike me as a very nice, very fun sort of person. You have great interests but you have kept your list manageable. I would certainly date you although I probably would not initiate contact because I'd be worried you were too outgoing for me. Honestly, I feel like your profile isn't lacking anywhere. Mine rambles quite a bit more.

Well, I might not date you because you are straight .

Good luck out there.

I think your profile looks good & I like the feel of it. When you read someone's profile, you aren't going to like every single thing the other person likes. Since sports was thrown out there already....

You like watching sports. Person reading your profile may not be thrilled with sports, but maybe they enjoy something that you don't. To make a relationship work, the two people have to compromise a little. Be yourself and find someone who either enjoys sports (and your other interests) or is willing to compromise.

See what mindslave said, I think she summarized what I was trying to say quite well. Don't include stuff you used to do or used to like, but now do less of, write about the things you DO do and do like as of now (today). Regarding movies, I'd just put that you like group movie events/watching movies with friends and leave it at that, if you even include it at all. If it's not something you particularly do much of or are currently interested in then it's irrelevant information. If what you're trying to say is that you love watching movies with a significant other, then say it straight out, a.k.a. "I'm looking for someone who enjoys quiet nights in together with pizza and a great movie." (except in your own words of course). Hope this helps!

Lol!! Love that XD

Okay! So, I'm going to write a big long answer, and I'd like to point out first that 1) I'm going to be very frank, and 2) you seem like a pretty cool guy from what I've seen on here so I'm literally going to state what I see in your profile only. Essentially, I've seen a bit of your personality on here so I know a little bit of what you're like; I'm going to tell you if I think it comes across in your profile. I'm told I'm quite good at picking out stuff like this lol, and I think I've cracked some of the rules of online dating, so if you can take my opinion with a pinch of salt (ie realise I don't mean to offend) then please keep reading and consider what I'm saying! And if not... then, um, don't read ><

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So. One of the things you have to think about is what kind of person you want to attract with this profile. What's your ideal girl like? What would you like to do with her? (Bear in mind I mean the innocent answers here!! The others are for your entertainment only XD) What kind of things would you have in common and what would you be able to teach and learn from her? It's not so good to be a perfectionist and reject anyone who has the slightest flaw, but it's definitely good to be picky enough. For example, if you know you could never date a vegan, then bear that in mind when you write your profile. You don't need to say, 'if you're vegan go away,' or anything lol, but you could mention one of your favourite foods that just happens to have meat or dairy in it. That way you're more likely to attract meat-lovers and you won't waste any time talking to someone who in the end you wouldn't get on with. Come up with a checklist of 10 essentials, and 10 preferences - essentials might be the vegan thing, ie anything that absolutely has to be the case because your lifestyle wouldn't fit with it, and preferences might be things like being a ManU fan or having blue eyes. Maybe you might not get on with a Liverpool fan, but you'd probably do fine with a girl who wasn't interested in football as long as she was okay with you being a fan, right? And unless you wretch at the sight of brown eyes, you're probably not going to have much of a problem dating a non-blue-eyed girl either!

One of the other things to bear in mind is what her PROFILE might look like. Not because that's what you see of her; because that's what every other guy on the site sees of her too. You might be messaging eccentric quiet girls who you think are interesting but aren't likely to get a lot of replies on the site - these girls can be appealed to in different ways to the stereotypical blonde party-type who seems all about 'having fun.' The number of messages they get also plays a part - the more messages she's likely to have got, the more you'll have to stand out.

Now I'm going to run through what I see when I look at your profile. When I did online dating, I got some 200 replies in the short while I kept my profile up. Apparently there aren't that many girls in the world who wear makeup, watch Top Gear and play video games =P anyway, essentially it meant that I would pretty much have a quick flick over the message he'd sent me and his profile picture, and if that interested me (or at least didn't repulse me) I'd have a look at his profile, and at that point I'd know if I was interested in talking to him properly. I realise some of these points may only apply to what I was looking for, so like I said, take it with a pinch of salt, but it's definitely something to consider!

1) Whatever you're saying to them in your messages, make it count. Make it a little different. Make it entirely the essence of yourself: for example, I like to be very blunt and get to the point. I was in fact told this by a guy I replied to by asking him outright if he was going to take me out or not XD apparently most people tend to message back and forth for quite a while, even months. If that seems odd to you, you're entitled to say so! Bear in mind that any girl you message, you might date. Any girl you date, you might get into a relationship with. And if you ever want to get married, then any girl you're in a relationship with, you might marry! This means that by putting the Essence of You into your messages, any girl who thinks you're weird will disappear sooner rather than later, and any girl who's interested will become more interested sooner rather than later. My bluntness makes a good example of this: I didn't need to say that I was blunt, I just needed to be blunt. It makes you stand out as an actual person more than just another profile.

2) Whatever you're saying to them in your messages, make it count! I feel kinda weird describing this cause it sounds arrogant, but when I got my 200 messages, I can tell you that about 195 of them were exactly the same thing. Think of all the societal niceties that Aspies are famed for hating: 'hello/hi/how are you/up to much this weekend/so how did you get into [interest]/etc.' It's rubbish! Again, I realise part of this will be that I hate those little phrases in general, but I've discovered I'm not the only one. Fly straight into a conversation. For example, you have cats right? So maybe you're looking at my profile and you see that I have three cats (which I dooo!). You also see that I'm part Italian (which I am!) and grew up in a house where the kitchen was always covered in flour as my mother cooked various things (which is partially true lol). You could say something like this in your message:



So what you've done is put a subject that isn't 'hello' or something equally same-ish, started with something individual (a real thought that actually goes through your mind - doesn't have to be entirely true, but something plausible that you would think about: the story I just made up is based on a time ages ago I caught my kitten with a clothes peg in his mouth as if it was a bird...) instead of what every other guy is also saying to her, acknowledged that you're not saying what every other guy is, and by mentioning something from my profile you've proved that you've actually read it. You'd be surprised how many guys messaged me probably due to my gaming and Top Gear interests, when they hadn't read all the insane stuff I wrote in my actual description! It's always good for a girl to know that you've read her whole profile - otherwise it feels like you're just spamming us and don't really care if we message you back or another girl. We want to feel special, basically. It's also good to mention something you could do on a date, like the recipe swap. Even if she says no to that, you've put the thought in her mind of being with you in person. It makes it a more plausible possibility. I don't know if any other girls would agree with this, but it's something I've noticed in some little experiments and research I did to find out what got attention online =P

3) So I've seen your message and I am finally looking at your profile! The first thing I'll see if your picture. You look nice, but there's nothing that makes you stand out. Perhaps get a picture somebody else took of you doing something interesting? Not so that she can see the interesting thing you're doing; it can just be more sincere than smiling at your webcam for a photo. Also, have some bright colours in there somewhere - there are a lot of blues, grays, blacks and peaches in online dating profile pictures. Put some yellow or red into it (or both!) and you'll stand out a little more! A big block of colour will draw attention to it, and something other than a simple smile will make you look more human. Again, I think this may just be a quirk of mine, but I love pictures of people pulling faces! They look more real than 'sit and smile' photos, I think =]

4) Your 'About Me' bit doesn't have anything bad in it, but you're less likely to get much attention for it because, again, it doesn't stand out much! Most people would say that they're loyal/considerate/like different music/etc. I think sunshower was right about leaving out anything you don't normally do - 99% of online profiles will say that they like staying in and chilling out, but also going out and having fun... as if it's different to what everyone else says! Think about whether you spend most of your time in or out and stick to that. Think about the past month and what you've done; that's a more accurate description of yourself. You could also be blunt about that too and just say what you've said here: 'I haven't been clubbing in a while - most of my nights are spent cosied up with good food and good TV! Though I'll admit, I tend not to go looking for movies - I mostly watch what others suggest and then decide whether I like it or not.' If that's an accurate description? You get the point anyway - it tells people that you spend a lot of time inside, but you would go out once in a while, and that you don't watch a lot of movies, but you would if someone wanted to. But it says it in a more interesting way than just saying that. I get the logic behind putting anything and everything into your profile - if someone does want to do something different, you're probably not going to say no. But you could always just throw that in at the end: 'gosh, I haven't done anything new in quite a while! Suggestions welcome ' and that says that a girl could come along and suggest you do something outside of your normal interests, but it still draws attention to your real main interests so that if another 360 fan comes along she can go all obsessive at you about that and not have to worry that maybe you like theatre more or maybe football is your main thing etc etc - like I said, make it the Essence of You!

5) The next section basically says that you're dissatisfied with your job and that's all you do. Again, sorry if I'm being too blunt >.< you could make it a mix - for example, if you work regular office hours selling stuff at stalls in a mall, and you spend your evenings watching TV or playing Halo on XBox Live and your weekends visiting friends for chilled socialising, you can say that. And if I'm right about the fact that you're not happy with your job, then try to take the focus off that and don't give it too much attention if it's not how you want to define yourself. This is how I'd write it, which is just one way: 'If you've been to Salford city centre and had someone pounce on you with a new product they wanted you to buy, it was probably me! I work as a salesman so I get to spend my days annoying loads of people the rest of my time is spent enjoying the moment - I'm no daredevil, but what's not to love about good company and good wine? Out of office hours, I'll most likely be found at a friend's place dying of laughter with a good comedy show on TV.' Just put the salesman/annoying thing in for a bit of a joke lol, shows you have a sense of humour like you say you do! =] You could also make it funny by maybe writing some of it in the style of a stereotypical salesman, maybe the first line of your profile or something. Like that Cillit Bang advert ;D

6) The 'I'm really good at' section pretty much has everything I'd have said - any weird talents that might be interesting, party tricks or whatever lol.

7) I think the 'first things people notice about me' section is meant to be personality-wise. Even if I'm wrong, I definitely think it'd be good to put something in there about your personality. For example, maybe you smile a lot and make a lot of references to Kill Bill: 'Apparently I smile more than most people! On more than one occasion I've been told my smile brightened someone's day - maybe that's how I got the sales job! You'll also notice pretty quickly that I know any and every Kill Bill quote ever (actually, come to think of it, maybe that should have been in the last section!). And I have a pretty cool birthmark on my arm!' I don't know where your birthmark is but I just used your arm as an example =] again, for anyone looking at your profile, it gives them a sense of what it'd be like to actually be in your presence.

Nothing wrong at all with your books/films/music section! Except that you spelled Tolkien wrong - I always notice spelling and grammar mistakes, it's my personal curse!!

9) Maybe this is just me, but I couldn't resist putting a little joke into your 'six things': 'Music, coffee, humour, spice, electrcity and an internet connection. Mostly because you can download anything else once you've got the internet connection.'

Budum-chhhhh!

10) The thinking section could be brightened up with an example of one of those 'what-ifs.' Think of something totally zany! But again, make it the Essence of You ;D One of my personal examples might be this: 'what if soya milk came from real cows? Soya cows! I wonder what they'd look like. I think they'd have rainbow patches instead of black ones, and where normal cows are white, maybe soya cows would be the colour of the milk the make... so chocolate soya cows would be brown with rainbow patches, and strawberry soya cows would be pink with rainbow patches, and now I'm really really thirsty...' It's a perfect example of what someone would get if they met me in person - I say and think that kind of thing all the time <D

And that's it! Fits nicely into 10 points and everything XD Like I said, I mean well, and it's only my opinion! But if you're interested, I could take your profile and also things you've said on this thread (or elsewhere on WrongPlanet) and show you the sort of things I mean. So it'd be your words (and obviously you could edit it or refuse it entirely!) and it'd still describe you, but in the way that I mean =]

If I was writing my 'things I'm good at' section... I'd say 'really really long-winded essays' XD hope I helped a little at least!

Holy crow, wow. ASPiXiE, that was really nice of you to do that for Mark's profile. I kinda have this goofy smile on my face thinking of the effort you put in it.

BTW, I can see a job brewing here for you on L&D.

Good luck, Mark!

Well I'm not into guys so no But apart from the obvious (that you have AS so are gonna find social stuff harder), I don't see why you would have too many problems finding women, you seem like a decent bloke

btw did you watch the Liverpool game? WTF?

No. I wouldn't be interested in you.

1. you are 9inches shorter then me.
2. You live on the other side of the world.
3. You like sports.
4. You seem too social for me.

That's difficult, and I can't speak for women in general at all, so perhaps you should take my own opinion here with a grain of salt, as they say. I personally don't find some sports-watching off-putting. I don't find it appealing, but it's certainly not a strike against someone. However, anything even remotely resembling fanaticism I do find off-putting, and liking a team enough to mention it suggests some degree of fanaticism to me. So, mentioning this on your profile will absolutely turn some women away, but I am not typical and can't speak for most of them. Maybe it would only turn a few of us away, and maybe we're not the type of people you're looking for, anyway.

Wow! Thank you for the advice ASPiXiE, there's definitely some good points but I'm viewing front a mobile so will come back to it when I'm home.

Unfortunately i did. I'm glad I didn't make the effort to and watch in 3d like I nearly did. Hopefully it'll turn around in the CL.

50% of women would not date you , first impressions are often the most decisive , so take 90% of those 50% as genuine responses.

While the other 50% of women would date you, but you should be aware that in such polls many women would vote 'yes' just to make you feel good , so take 50% out of those 50% of yes as genuine (estimation)...at its best.

Not good.

Haha thanks guys! But um, Esther... what's L&D?

Lol I heard about the football game. My boyfriend is a Liverpool fan can't say I really understand it but there you go! The sports thing seems to be a big issue, in that people don't agree on it I mean... I guess in the end, it comes back to what kind of girl you'd want to date. You say you're willing to miss the odd game for a girl and if that's the case I'd say you probably don't need to mention it. Sometimes we have this idea of all football fans being rowdy drunks I know it's not always true, but it can bring that image to mind. So unless it's a really big part of your life, or you've got football posters and memorabilia all over your room (like my guy does. Sigh!) I guess it's the sort of thing that can come up in conversation on a date. You can just mention it in passing (eg 'yeah I was at my friend's place last night watching the footy') and see how she reacts. She might be a fan herself, in which case you can watch the games together, or she might not be interested - in which case, imagine her going on about different ways to put on her makeup or do her nails. You probably don't mind that she does it, but you don't need to hear all the details I think a lot of girls think that way about guys and football. Maybe the equivalent is a girl putting her favourite makeup brand on her profile; you'd probably think she was a total ditz, even though to her she's just listing something she likes.

(People and gender differences fascinate me XD )

"L&D" this place, Love and Dating

Intellectually, It seems to me that being into sports would be a huge turn-on for a woman. It's a simple fact of evolutionary psychology.

I suppose it could be a problem later though if the sports fan spends too much time watching games - have you ever heard the phrase "football widow"?

I think the fact that I am totally indifferent to sports actually hurts my chances quite a bit...