Men who wants to be the girl in the relationship

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mv
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23 Feb 2012, 2:31 pm

hale_bopp wrote:

mv wrote:

I'm having trouble understanding what is meant here by "being the girl in the relationship" or "taking on the girl role". Can someone please enlighten me?

I'm seeing a *lot* of broad (heh) stereotypes, but nothing definitive.

A typical guy role is to be the provider, the strong one and the courter. To run the house and be the one that "protects" the other one.

That's all that is meant. It might be a stereotype, but that is what he means.

Oh, thanks. Heh, I've never had a relationship like that. Do many people? What is the appeal?

hale_bopp
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23 Feb 2012, 2:34 pm

mv wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

mv wrote:

Oh, thanks. Heh, I've never had a relationship like that. Do many people? What is the appeal?

I don't think it's so enforced with most people. It's very common for one person to like the other to "wear the pants" though and take the majority of control.

Vigilans
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23 Feb 2012, 2:35 pm

hale_bopp wrote:

A lot of women thrive off wearing the pants.

There is someone out there for you.

They're better off without pants, imo

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techstepgenr8tion
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23 Feb 2012, 2:37 pm

I'd have to have a lot more trust for and faith in someone than the vast majority of people I've met in my life to let them wear the pants. They're a tiny fraction of a percent.

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Tequila
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23 Feb 2012, 2:37 pm

techstepgenr8tion wrote:

The only challenge with that - he may need to wear the whole hat and be 360 degrees of soft.

That just sounds like a recipe for abuse. Any person needs to stand up for themselves if a partner is trying to walk over them.

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23 Feb 2012, 2:37 pm

i'm pretty much like that. :oops: i just sort of naturally fall into that role.

when looking to date, i would be the pursuer (except once, when it was a mutual endeavour). i am less of a nurturer than a provider (though being on similar footing is cool too). i'm the kind of person to put up the drywall and do the taping while someone else makes lunch. when a person needs to step in and start making decisions and taking action, i'm your man... er, woman.

i do have some feminine pursuits and stuff, so it's not 100% but i think most people probably identify with both genders to some degree.

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techstepgenr8tion
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23 Feb 2012, 2:37 pm

Vigilans wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

A lot of women thrive off wearing the pants.

There is someone out there for you.

They're better off without pants, imo

Err....careful what you wish for. You might go blind.

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NickKotarski
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23 Feb 2012, 2:40 pm

techstepgenr8tion wrote:

justalouise wrote:

Regardless of your sexuality, it sounds like you need to look for a partner who is a very caring, nurturing, dare I say "maternal" type. They're out there, lots of them.

The only challenge with that - he may need to wear the whole hat and be 360 degrees of soft. I've met these types and it seems like if you have an edge on any angle they hit a brick wall and they get a bit of a "Oh.....your not who I thought you were....." type thing. If he's a big soft-rock fan or doesn't have a masculine bone in his body he might be able to make it work, if not - I hope for the best for him but, it may not work and he may be stuck out with the rest of the in-between crowd who's really out in the middle of nowhere between macho and feminine. That realm is where I've noticed even the best of guys can be utterly invisible; not even referring to myself but so many NT's I've known who were always dry on luck.

Then where should guys like me look? I'd gauge I'm roughly 75-80% soft and 25/20% tough.

techstepgenr8tion
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23 Feb 2012, 2:41 pm

Tequila wrote:

techstepgenr8tion wrote:

The only challenge with that - he may need to wear the whole hat and be 360 degrees of soft.

That just sounds like a recipe for abuse. Any person needs to stand up for themselves if a partner is trying to walk over them.

I'm talking about girls who are.... ultra-white yuppies who are sheltered to the point of being....something like a caucasion version of what a lot of native Japanese girls seem to be? Its like they're in a childhood toy land and want someone as soft, safe, and harmless as they are. Its not them putting up a nymph act to hide a big manipulator, that's really them and what you see is what you get. Then again, that's the type of couple who lock themselves away from the world and essentially spend their lives hiding.

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Tequila
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23 Feb 2012, 2:43 pm

techstepgenr8tion wrote:

Its not them putting up a nymph act to hide a big manipulator

That's the sort of person I thought you might be referring to.

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23 Feb 2012, 2:45 pm

Tequila wrote:

techstepgenr8tion wrote:

Its not them putting up a nymph act to hide a big manipulator

That's the sort of person I thought you might be referring to.

Yeah, I meant the types of girls who are sincerely scared off by anything less than 100% feminine or at least 95% from a guy.

The Faustian tradeoff - good luck to that guy going out in public, even by himself.

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Tequila
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23 Feb 2012, 2:50 pm

techstepgenr8tion wrote:

Yeah, I meant the types of girls who are sincerely scared off by anything less than 100% feminine or at least 95% from a guy.

Sounds like he'd be better off getting himself neutered.

techstepgenr8tion
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23 Feb 2012, 2:52 pm

Tequila wrote:

techstepgenr8tion wrote:

Yeah, I meant the types of girls who are sincerely scared off by anything less than 100% feminine or at least 95% from a guy.

Sounds like he'd be better off getting himself neutered.

Or just leaving her for the next guy who walks, talks, and acts the right way to 'wear the whole hat' for her while not having to violate or be untrue to himself. A guy being full-wuss is rare though and even at that I'm not sure these girls are necessarily looking for that so much as seemingly harmless personality-types.

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blueroses
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23 Feb 2012, 3:07 pm

mv wrote:

I'm seeing a *lot* of broad (heh) stereotypes, but nothing definitive.

Yeah, me, too. I've actually been on both sides of the fence on this one, depending on the personality of the guy, and I think the roles we take on are often a lot more fluid and complicated than simply "being the girl" or "being the man" in relationships.

nick007
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23 Feb 2012, 3:20 pm

techstepgenr8tion wrote:

Tequila wrote:

techstepgenr8tion wrote:

The only challenge with that - he may need to wear the whole hat and be 360 degrees of soft.

That just sounds like a recipe for abuse. Any person needs to stand up for themselves if a partner is trying to walk over them.

Where can those type of girls be found :?:

They sound like a great type for me

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mv
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23 Feb 2012, 3:21 pm

blueroses wrote:

mv wrote:

I'm seeing a *lot* of broad (heh) stereotypes, but nothing definitive.

Yes, exactly! That's what I was trying to convey. I would never be comfortable being as wholly passive as the role described to me seems to be.

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