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Why it's better to go places women go.

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MathbyIntuition
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25 Jun 2011, 1:33 pm

I feel like I've started something here... *scampers away*



GoatOnFire
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28 Jun 2011, 12:01 am

Maybe this is a stupid question. But wouldn't being a guy and joining something where you are highly outnumbered by women maybe be a little transparent?

ValentineWiggin wrote:
It's somewhat similar to advice many NT's give, especially parents, no?

Of course they recommend going places and trying to interact with people-
it produces positive results, friendships, and relationships for them.

Lack of Theory of Mind.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And not everyone with AS is affected the same so that applies to advice from other aspies as well.

hyperlexian wrote:
what we meant was that you can show interest in the women as you get to know them, but trying to pick them up on the first cooking class, or staring at their asses in yoga, etc. will not go over well.

That's funny, I have an experience experience would directly contradict that. My freshman year of college I was on a sports team, coach wanted me to become more flexible so I was pressured into going to a yoga class. However, being sent from a masculine pursuit gave me a good cover to maybe pass as not gay for being a guy in a yoga class. You know what happened? I was accused of being gay because I didn't stare at their asses! Stupid me, being respectful.


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justjelliot
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29 Jun 2011, 12:50 am

MathbyIntuition wrote:
The online dating world might seem like a nice place, and then you'll discover that men frequently outnumber women by as much as 50% on some of the more popular dating sites. In a male dominated anime club or star trek convention, your odds just get worse. So, where to go?

Try taking up Yoga, or joining a book club. You could spend more time in church or start helping with a non-profit. Take up jogging at a local park, and see if anyone wants to talk as you go on your morning jog. In any of these activities there might be fewer women, and they're more likely to be unavailable, but the key difference is the number of competitors.

When you're a cute guy in Yoga class, some of the women WILL stare. :wink:


Just being around a lot of women won't do the trick. I studied psychology as an undergrad, and was typically one of two or three guys in each class.

I studied special education in grad school. Even less guys than psychology. I made friends, sure, but nothing more. I was in a platonic position as a classmate. I also go to boxing and kickboxing classes, nearly all girls.

Problem is, girls walk in on cell phones, class ends, walk out on cell phones. People rarely talk much before or after class. That also might be due to the fast pace of the DC culture.

What helps the most is to have someone introduce you to a friend. When you are introduced, it's much less intimidating or alarming than if you just walk up to her and introduce yourself. A guy who works at the gym and I have a ton of mutual friends, so whenever he sees people who know a lot of our friends, he introduces me. That's my in.


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