Males with aspergers - STOP BEATING YOURSELVES UP!

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Stop me if you can.

ok so its my fault i have been rejected my whole life from every social thing i can imagine, thus not being in the social circle to have gotten in the dating game. Totally my fault im unwanted.

i didn't say that at all....

rephrased, i was saying that if he makes the conscious decision to completely wihdraw from dating, then he can't complain about nobody dating him now. if he chooses to lock himself in a closet, for example, then he can't complain that he is locked in a closet.

Genetically wise (in case "asperger" is really genetic and related to Autism), it's your fault.

If Asperger is just a personality disorder, then it's your fault too.

It's your fault either way.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 05 Jul 2011, 11:32 am, edited 1 time in total.

you still missed what im saying. Not all of us chose to be locked up in a closet. Its what our time with society showed us.

then... you (or any other person who might wanna lock himself in a closet) must have asked out a lot of people and been summarily rejected on a repeat basis. or... is it possible that people are deciding to lock themselves up before it even happens?

EDIT: changed it to be non-gender-specific, as this isn't just about men.

Last edited by hyperlexian on 05 Jul 2011, 12:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

i got rejected even on a friends basis. what makes you certain that asking for a relationship would have made it any different?

I find it quite distressing that this thread rapidly turned from a positive one into a negative one.

I believe the OP was just trying to say something encouraging and caring towards her fellow Aspies.

Perhaps just accepting the intention of that message without trying to pick it apart would have been a suitable reciprocation of that gesture.

Why thank you!! You are very nice Hale_bopp.

I am just going to compose a message for you here in pubic!




Subject: Halo baby

Hi, me called Boo and me thinks u hottie, me wants you at my place, me on saturday be free, me thinks we are high match, 20% is the highest score for me ever. You say yes.

That's AWESOME! Now I know what I've been doing wrong - can I copy it?

Well the true is it works both ways, positive into negative and negative into positive.
Personal I love turning the negative into something positive

The key issue here is how other people understand the message based on there own personal perceptions.
Then I comment on WP I understand that there's going be lots of interpretations of my messages.

This! Or as I like to say:

"Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours." - Richard Bach

I can relate to feeling so full of fail and needing to withdraw. Use the time wisely, ffs, and then go out and try something different. Arguing with everyone who gives encouragement seems monumentally passive-agressive, not to mention stupid and futile.

I do agree with the female posters in this thread. Aspie guys are just as eligible for partners as NT guys are. Self-depreciation and over-analysis of why you are single solves NOTHING. The problem I think stems from this bogus notion that ALL women are only attracted to devilishly handsome, rich and powerful men. This is crap. The only girls (please note I did not say women) who are shallow enough to only be attracted to that type of man generally are not worth the hassle. There are plenty of lovely women out there who are interested in the YOU rather than what you drive or what you earn. My own partner of five years will attest to that. I earn f*ck all compared to a lot of people I know, can't drive and definitely am no oil paining.

Stop stressing and live, love will find you.

Was that intentional?

Paging Dr. Freud...

But if Ive learnt something from my little experience dating is that every now and then you need the strength to prove society wrong.
Some years ago I fell for the complete opposite of me(different background/interests/attitude). She needed some help with a couple of subjects and I had no partner so we started working together.

I could write several paragraphs about this but the important thing is that everyone that knew both of us(and this includes several teachers) told me to forget about her because I didnt have a chance(I suck at hiding my feelings so those around me notice this kind of things).

I could have listened to them, as a matter of fact for several months I did listen to them but keeping the friendship with her intact, after a while I realized that I wasnt going to forget about her and the least I could do is ask her out.

I had to ask her out several times during a 2 month period,on which I was given several lousy excuses but as it wasnt a no I kept asking to reschedule/find something else to do. Eventually we went out and we dated for 2 years.

Im aware that I should have given up as soon as the excuses started but I figured that I had already made a fool of myself so the least I could do is ask her to reschedule.


Ive been unable to do anything of this sort for quite a while(had some hair problems, lost self steem, afraid of rejection, body issues, you name it) but Im still able to gather the courage and try to do something like this at least once a year to see that I still have the guts to try something like this when meeting new people(as opposed to a potential girlfriend which would be much harder.)