venting and complaining about women

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Freak-Z
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14 Aug 2011, 11:05 am

Erisad wrote:

Freak-Z wrote:

Nothing's stopping the women complaining and venting about men more. :wink:

Meh, I did that for a bit and I got bored. That and improving myself and luckily finding a nice bf cured that problem. :lol:

Bored with complaining? impossible! :lol:

Erisad
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14 Aug 2011, 11:06 am

Freak-Z wrote:

Erisad wrote:

Freak-Z wrote:

Nothing's stopping the women complaining and venting about men more. :wink:

Meh, I did that for a bit and I got bored. That and improving myself and luckily finding a nice bf cured that problem. :lol:

Bored with complaining? impossible! :lol:

Oh but it is possible. I have a very short attention span you see.

nick007
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14 Aug 2011, 11:30 am

Lots of times(especially on other forums) people have accused me of complaining when that really was NOT my intent. I'm very analytical & lots thought I was being an arguing ass when I really was trying to analyze the advice they were giving trying to see how practical it was for me & to let the givers of said advice know that their advice was not perfect & may of not been appropriate for me. I think it may be a similar thing for some of the guys here who are assumed to be complaining. Guys tend to be more analytical so perhaps what looks like arguing; may be their analytical thought process trying to work

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hyperlexian
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14 Aug 2011, 12:32 pm

nick007 wrote:

we aren't just assuming they are complaining if they actually write derogatory things about women, or decide that all women are a certain way based on limited experiences.

there is some of the reverse as well, with women making generalisations about men, but i challenge anyone to count the number of posts in each category (men speaking badly about women vs. women speaking badly about men) on the first few pages of this subforum. it has become so culturally acceptable to speak that way about women in the forum that i think it is not noticeable to some men just how bad it is.

to me, venting and generalising about entire categories of people isn't acceptable on the forum (The Haven has more leeway, but even in there i think it shouldn't be allowed to get out of hand). it makes people feel unwelcome and has a negative effect on the usefulness of the forum. so many people who offered support and very good advice have left the forum over the years because the climate became too negative towards them, so the venting and complaining could be counterproductive.

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nick007
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14 Aug 2011, 12:34 pm

hyperlexian wrote:

nick007 wrote:

we aren't just assuming they are complaining if they actually write derogatory things about women, or decide that all women are a certain way based on limited experiences.

I've seen lots of posters in this section get accused of complaining when they never said anything derogatory in those post or said all women or anything.

Last edited by nick007 on 14 Aug 2011, 12:40 pm, edited 2 times in total.

hyperlexian
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14 Aug 2011, 12:38 pm

nick007 wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

nick007 wrote:

we aren't just assuming they are complaining if they actually write derogatory things about women, or decide that all women are a certain way based on limited experiences.

I've seen lots of posters in this section get accused of complaining when they never said anything derogatory in those post or said all women or anything

maybe it's only noticeable if you are IN the target group.

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nick007
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14 Aug 2011, 12:41 pm

hyperlexian wrote:

nick007 wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

nick007 wrote:

we aren't just assuming they are complaining if they actually write derogatory things about women, or decide that all women are a certain way based on limited experiences.

I've seen lots of posters in this section get accused of complaining when they never said anything derogatory in those post or said all women or anything

maybe it's only noticeable if you are IN the target group.

I've seen women here rant about Aspie guys or rant about guys in general & for some rezone guys don't call em on it like the way guys get called our for complaining about women maybe because the guys are afraid of getting attacked for it

hyperlexian
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14 Aug 2011, 12:45 pm

nick007 wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

nick007 wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

nick007 wrote:

we aren't just assuming they are complaining if they actually write derogatory things about women, or decide that all women are a certain way based on limited experiences.

I've seen lots of posters in this section get accused of complaining when they never said anything derogatory in those post or said all women or anything

maybe it's only noticeable if you are IN the target group.

that's their choice, and nobody is stopping them. i have spoken out on threads against women who said negative things about all men, but it's up to each person how they want to deal with it. as a female, i may not notice every time it happens, just like you might not notice if it is women who are being insulted.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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14 Aug 2011, 12:50 pm

Whining about women and blaming women is whining.

Whining about guys who are whining about women is whining.

Whining about guys' analysis being misunderstood as whining is whining.

Whining about guys' whining being more frequent than girls' whining is whining.

Whining about all these whining's is whining (my case).

So let's just drink a beer and stop whining all of us.

MissConstrue
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14 Aug 2011, 12:52 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Enough with the whining and I think I'll have a shot of boohoo juice instead.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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14 Aug 2011, 12:54 pm

MissConstrue wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Enough with the whining and I think I'll have a shot of boohoo juice instead.

Cheers, my Boo lady!

hyperlexian
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14 Aug 2011, 12:55 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

can you stop whining about the whining about the whining please? :wink:

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nick007
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14 Aug 2011, 12:55 pm

hyperlexian wrote:

nick007 wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

nick007 wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

nick007 wrote:

we aren't just assuming they are complaining if they actually write derogatory things about women, or decide that all women are a certain way based on limited experiences.

I've seen lots of posters in this section get accused of complaining when they never said anything derogatory in those post or said all women or anything

maybe it's only noticeable if you are IN the target group.

I really do believe that it is more acceptable for women to complain about men here than it is for men to complain about women. This thread is about men complaining yet I do NOT see any threads on the 1st page riite now telling the women to quit complaining about men

hyperlexian
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14 Aug 2011, 1:04 pm

nick007 wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

nick007 wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

nick007 wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

nick007 wrote:

we aren't just assuming they are complaining if they actually write derogatory things about women, or decide that all women are a certain way based on limited experiences.

I've seen lots of posters in this section get accused of complaining when they never said anything derogatory in those post or said all women or anything

maybe it's only noticeable if you are IN the target group.

have you actually checked how many posts have men putting down women as opposed to the reverse? there is a massive imbalance there.

i'd say it is unacceptable for both genders, and if you read something you think isn't fair to men, say so. whether other men want to speak up is up to them, but if you see it, then do something about it. whose fault is it if a person doesn't speak up? nobody is gagged here.

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nick007
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14 Aug 2011, 1:10 pm

hyperlexian wrote:

nick007 wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

nick007 wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

nick007 wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

nick007 wrote:

we aren't just assuming they are complaining if they actually write derogatory things about women, or decide that all women are a certain way based on limited experiences.

I've seen lots of posters in this section get accused of complaining when they never said anything derogatory in those post or said all women or anything

maybe it's only noticeable if you are IN the target group.

I seen a higher percentage of women complaining about guys here & not getting called on it than guys complaining about women & not getting called on it. I also think this forum has more frustrated men than women so it makes sense that more men would be complaining than women but the percentage of men getting called out on it to women is higher.

I don't call out specific post by women because I do NOT want to risk getting accused of being a misogynist. I have gotten attacked in PMs for speaking out in the past

hyperlexian
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14 Aug 2011, 1:24 pm

nick007 wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

nick007 wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

nick007 wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

nick007 wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

nick007 wrote:

we aren't just assuming they are complaining if they actually write derogatory things about women, or decide that all women are a certain way based on limited experiences.

I've seen lots of posters in this section get accused of complaining when they never said anything derogatory in those post or said all women or anything

maybe it's only noticeable if you are IN the target group.

I seen a higher percentage of women complaining about guys here & not getting called on it than guys complaining about women & not getting called on it. I also think this forum has more frustrated men than women so it makes sense that more men would complain than women but the percentage of men getting called out on it to women is higher.

I don't call out specific post by women because I do NOT want to risk getting accused of being a misogynist. I have gotten attacked in PMs for speaking out in the past

i don't really get your point. if you are afraid to speak up, that is not anyone else's fault. i've been called some pretty bad things by men on here, but it's not going to stop me from standing up for women (or men, or any other group that's being insulted). it's entirely your own choice if you don't feel comfortable with doing that.

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