People who take too long to reply

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I'm one of those people who takes too long to reply. That's why I pretty much only use public message boards.

I can't deal with people getting whiny and emo because of it.

Pastafarian: which parts did I get wrong?

I said I agreed with your insightful comments on the OPs interaction, should have left her to come back at her speed, seemed needy. Needed to relax.

Where you are wrong is where you think you have a "top down view of women",

"You have to take control of the encounter or she won't feel like a woman. " Cringey bollocks.
I take control of every encounter I have ever had.

You think you can fit the whole of female kind into a pattern based on your life experiences of women, but you dont answer my question about your data (the number of females friends/interaction hours). Its like those cringey books that men write about how to win women by some formula, its "douchey" (new word for me). The beauty of people is in the detail, the complexity, nuances, the surprises. The beauty is in entering other peoples brains. You can't connect if you think you can have "a top-down view". Thats a animal (as you say), a pet not a woman.

"Top down view" my arse. Women are pets - that can be predicted, manipulated and trained. Yuk.

You sent a second message asking the same question twice in a row (and that's keeping in mind she didn't reply to you the first time).



You did ok here.



Not a good sign.



You should've just ended it with your previous message and then waited to see if she'd reply. If she doesn't reply, then you should get the idea that she changed her mind and that she wasn't serious about it.

I think I have a top-down view of NTs. It's from lots of experience (not sure the hours. I lived with a girl for 5 years and we never knew each other. I don't think raw hours mean much, especially with autistic learning style). NT women need to feel safe in as large a world as possible. Share with them a large, exciting, safe world and you get the girl. That may sound [something... reductionist? sexist?] but it holds true from my perspective. From an NT perspective you would focus on the more ground-level details of courtship.

"I take control of every encounter I have ever had."

You said you were with a psychopath and the game told you you were in love. I'm not saying don't let people believe they have free will, but NT women want to be loved and protected by gods, not meekly accompanied by meatsacks with penises. Best chance of successful DNA replication.

Hello Christopher,

I think you are being impatient and misreading her intentions. Wouldn't it be nice to meet up with a person to discuss ideas you both have interest in? Just be casual. If you play it cool you will not scare people away with what might be perceived as an abrasive personality.

Guybrush

You guys seem to fail hard at realizing a lot of my strong main talking points.

Especially this one:
"I'm very sincere about going for a coffee with you."

Obviously it's a blatant lie.

I should be on the top of the priorities list when she's online on her blog. We're trying to set up a date here in a timely fashion. I can obviously see her doing things when she's online. And I don't mean for five, ten minutes whatever. I mean she's consistently logging back on and deliberately ignoring me. Which means she's going out of her way to find pictures to blog - rather than just answer my message so we can set this up. And YES she's very unclear. Which had forced me to probe her for information.

And guys:
I KNOW WHAT SHE WANTED. OBVIOUSLY IT WAS A DATE. I'M NOT THAT OBVLIVIOUS. YOU'RE NOT ALL THAT SMART GUYS.

And this is her blog
[link removed by moderator as this thread is about the blogger]

All she does is blog about sex. And then she doesn't even treat me like she wants me. She pretends. It's so f*****g annoying it's unreal

THING IS:
I didn't even know what she looks like! I was giving her the time of day before I even knew if i wanted to go on the date!

You'll get better results if you take people at their word. Play along until they scupper themselves. You sound like a rapist in training.

I COULD take your advice, except it seems that some people disagree with it. I myself disagree with it, and find you to be rather un intelligent for an aspie

Christopher,

I think we are all trying to be honest with you mate...the main point is you seem to be getting very upset with the whole situation when maybe there is no need to be upset. Just relax. If things happen, then they happen. If you make things happen then all too often you will make a dramatic scene that nobody but you will understand.

If we didn't care to assist we wouldn't offer our inputs.

I want everyone to understand how frustrating it is
to be constantly stepped on and used like I'm nothing. Like im damaged goods or something. She thinks she can just initiate a conversation with me, and pretend to be all "sincere" and all this malarky, then go and throw me to the side like I'm nothing. Like I'm of no value.

It wasn't even an online dating site I was on. She went out of her way to message me on my blog!

Then I give her the time of day, without even knowing what she looks like!

Last edited by WhiteWidow on 25 Dec 2011, 10:02 am, edited 1 time in total.

You should make her pay. Then the next b***h won't be so quick to dismiss you. Draw a line in the sand.

Last edited by fraac on 25 Dec 2011, 10:04 am, edited 1 time in total.

Try to make some sense bud

You interrupted me. I was doing a bit.

Okay, try this: she was sincere when she said she sincerely wanted to meet (because that's how people work). Then you blew it by seeming weak. If you keep believing it's always them you're going to end up all twisted.

How did I seem weak? By asking her what intrigued her about me/my blog? By asking her how we should go about setting up a date? Yeah man, I was reeeal weak.

I don't think you seemed weak or even needy, but I do think this was a case of miss-communication. You basically forced the girl out of what she wound comfortable. She has her own speed at replying to messages, and you've broken that by sending more messages before she was ready. Another mistake, I think, was the fact you wanted to define the whole thing way too early. "What is this? Why are we meeting? What does it mean?" These aren't the questions you should be asking at that point.

Hey, I've been there. Whenever a guy asked me to do something with him, my first question was always: "why"? What are we going to do? Do you want to hand out as friends or are you flirting with me? Let me tell you, guys don't like this approach any more than girls like it. So unlike fraac, I don't think it was a gender thing. You simply failed to follow the unspoken rules of social communication.

But it's not the end of the world. There will be other opportunities.

That being said, it's true that a girl usually responses quickly if she's interested.