My situation with this new girl...

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What do you think will happen?
Scenario A 67%  67%  [ 12 ]
Scenario B 11%  11%  [ 2 ]
Scenario C 22%  22%  [ 4 ]
Scenario D 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Total votes : 18

MelancholyBunny
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12 Nov 2006, 6:23 pm

It's not illogical for a good-looking girl to date an ugly guy, admittedly the ugly guy usually has money...
Anyway, who says you're ugly, you may think that, but she might not, and only you say she's good looking, she may not think that. I think i'm repeating myself.



Louise
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12 Nov 2006, 6:35 pm

I don't consider myself to be exceptionally good-looking.

However, if a good-looking guy asked me out, I'd be thinking 'hmm. I hope he's not shallow/egotistic'. I'd try to not judge him negatively based on his looks, but it would be something I'd have to try carefully to avoid, at least to start with when I didn't know him very well. I'd definitely not be thinking he was 'out of my league'. I really don't get that concept. I divide people into categories based on good or bad personalities (worthy or not worthy), and I've noticed a correlation between being physically attractive and shallowness (not worthy), but I'd not _assume_ an attractive person to be shallow, as there are plenty of examples of people out there who don't conform to stereotypes.



asperience
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12 Nov 2006, 10:54 pm

There have been reliable scientific studies that show that most people do in fact agree on attractiveness rankings. Lets say you ask say a bunch of people to ratepictures of someone from 1 to 10, and the average rating is say 8 for you and 4 for someone else. If you do another study and ask a bunch of people to rate the same two people that study and any other studies will likely come to the same result: 8 for you and 4 for the other person.

That's not to say there isn't some variation, and someone I might rate 6 might be rated 5 or 4 by another. And there might even be a few outliers who would rate them 2 or 9. But for the most part the votes would cluster around say 6.

The website hotornot.com lets you submit your photo and you can find out how people rate you (although I think they fudge the results to make your reported ratings higher than what people actually voted).



MelancholyBunny
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12 Nov 2006, 11:06 pm

Why do you need to rate people at all?



alex
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13 Nov 2006, 1:33 am

MelancholyBunny wrote:
Why do you need to rate people at all?


I don't know completely but I think people like to quantify certain qualities.


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MrSinister
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13 Nov 2006, 3:04 pm

I voted A. Dude, if there's anything I've learned about this kind of thing it's that doubting yourself is akin to slitting your own wrists.

If G dumps you, then she dumps you. But from what you're saying, it seems that she doesn't want to do so. I say go with the flow, if you like her back.


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19 Nov 2006, 3:07 am

I have an update on my situation. I've just been on the second date with this girl (known as G). The date went over very nicely, much better than I expected. We had some nice conversations, with very little awkwardness, and G seems pretty intelligent so far. I'm proud to announce that this is probably turning out to be Scenario A (she likes me for me) or less likely, Scenario B (she likes me because I'm better than being alone for her). If she didn't like me, there would not have been a second date. I still feel like there's something utterly wrong with this whole thing, but I'm just going to go with the flow, not have any expectations or hopes, and just see what happens.



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19 Nov 2006, 4:27 am

Remember attractive girls are not all in the same boat in terms of desires and behaviours.

Ok so most of society agrees a certain look is attractive.

Personally I find brunettes most delicious, I also find a full sensuous shape to be much more of a turn on than a twig.

I don't dislike blonde and thin because its the norm, or because I think they're "blonde bimbos" or anything like that, I'm simply drawn to the rarer forms of beauty.


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Aspie1
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19 Nov 2006, 1:05 pm

Just for the records, my intention in the initial post was not to point out G's looks, or looks of any girl in general. I was talking about how irrational it is for an attractive girl like G to be dating an unattractive guy like me. The question I keep asking myself is this: "Why is this girl dating me, when with her looks, she can find a better-looking, more socially skilled guy?" Now, with G being actually interested in me and looking good, I'm totally confused. My biological instincts say "keep seeing her, 'cause she likes you", but my common sense says "this can't be right, so stop fooling yourself". Can someone help me resolve this all this?



MelancholyBunny
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22 Nov 2006, 5:38 pm

Methinks someone is under estimating themselves. :wink:



Aspie1
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24 Nov 2006, 5:47 pm

MelancholyBunny wrote:
Methinks someone is under estimating themselves. :wink:

Not really. I was right the whole time. She hasn't been returning my calls for the past 4 days. So that means she realized that she can do much better than me. So she lost interest. Thank you for all the suggestions, but unfortunately, they won't do me much good now.



krex
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24 Nov 2006, 7:49 pm

It is the holidays...perhaps she went visiting or is with family?


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MelancholyBunny
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25 Nov 2006, 9:55 am

Maybe she's just busy?



Square_Peg
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25 Nov 2006, 10:44 am

How many times have you called her? If you call too many times, people don't want to talk to you anymore because they think that you are being creepy 8O

Most likely though, Thanksgiving got in the way and she will then be back and all will be good.

I still think that it is situation A here. Just be confident in yourself and you should be good. Hell, even if you have to flat out LIE to yourself and say "I am confidant. I am brave. Fathers hide your daughters because here I come!" it's better than nothing. When you have a lower self confidence, it shows in your body language and your tone of voice. Women can pick up on that.



en_una_isla
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25 Nov 2006, 10:59 am

Aspie1 wrote:
MelancholyBunny wrote:
Methinks someone is under estimating themselves. :wink:

Not really. I was right the whole time. She hasn't been returning my calls for the past 4 days. So that means she realized that she can do much better than me. So she lost interest. Thank you for all the suggestions, but unfortunately, they won't do me much good now.


Are you sure she hasn't had a family emergency or something?



Aspie1
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25 Nov 2006, 3:05 pm

en_una_isla wrote:
Are you sure she hasn't had a family emergency or something?

I highly doubt it. Ironically, she did pick up the phone last time I called, and even though we did have a conversation, she didn't seem interested in making any plans to meet. From her point of view, she had to pick up the damn phone, otherwise I would have kept on trying to reach her. So by picking up and not showing interest, she was making sure I don't call again. I plan to do just that, unless she calls me first (the odds of it are extremely low).