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MR20
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10 Jun 2012, 12:08 pm

I hate the phrases "make the best with what you have" or "play the with cards you're dealt" . It's annoying. What if you got nothing but s**t and/or a really crappy hand? I don't hear people saying this to folks with down syndrome. What about my mom, who's a full blown schizo. (that's been in a mental home for the better part of my life, and can't go 3 minutes without laughing uncontrollably) Yeah she got a pretty crappy hand, I guess she didn't play it well enough.

deltafunction
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10 Jun 2012, 12:24 pm

MR20 wrote:

I just want people to agree with my (very accurate, at least I think so) assessment of myself, so that I won't feel any pressure, shame, and/or guilt about not having the life I wanted. Or being and living the way I am today.

I guess I'd feel less bad about never dating/having friends, never having an education, life, etc, If I knew I wasn't capable of it from the start. That I was born really low functioning that I never had a chance, no matter how hard I tried.

Alright, maybe it would make you feel better to look at yourself as injured. But do you really want to limit yourself? Do you want people to tell you you can never make friends, and will forever be alone, as an example? Are you going to let others decide your fate, or are you going to prove them wrong by showing them what you can do?

No one here though is limiting you. We are not agreeing with your doomed outlook. The only person who has that outlook is yourself. You are the only one you have to prove wrong.

We are sometimes dealt a bad hand in life, but what matters is how far you'll go to change your hand of cards.

Some people who were dealt a bad hand work on their life and not let others opinions limit them. There's a man who has no legs who is aspiring to climb a mountain. A woman who lost her legs and became a snowboarder:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2QZM7azGoA[/youtube]

This talk was very inspiring to me. I hope you are inspired as well.

_________________
Your Aspie score: 93 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 109 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits

mike_br
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Joined: 22 Apr 2012
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 209

10 Jun 2012, 12:44 pm

MR20 wrote:

No, sorry.
You can not go around and demand people agree with you. You are NOT as limited as you think. You can communicate very well, and have a good grasp of English. That alone qualifies you enough not to give up.

You seem, to be honest, spoiled. So it's my opinion that you need to change. Change is bad, gets you out of your comfort zone, but you can do it. You may not want to, but you can... I'm not validating some illusory worthlessness.

Bath and clean clothes would go a long way.

Also, go read books. You can read the classics on your computer for free, so it's not that hard. Get some interesting authors, like Goethe, Oscar Wilde, Shakespeare (much ado about nothing, merchant of venice) and voila.

See, I can offer your options. I'm truly unconvinced you are as disabled as you claim. That's good man, because I honestly would like to know you got better.

Anyways, best wishes,
Mike.

OliveOilMom
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10 Jun 2012, 12:57 pm

MR20 wrote:

OliveOilMom wrote:

Lets get to the bottom line here ok MR20? What is it you want to hear from us? I ask this because nothing that anyone has said has been what you wanted to hear.

I'm not talking about your situation or your hygeine or your looks or your hobbies or your IQ. I'm talking about what it is that you want to hear from us. That's what I want to know. I'm not being mean to you or attacking you or anything like that. There are quite a few people that I have seen who come here and talk about how bad their situations are, how trapped they are, how helpless they are, how bad they have it in life and how unfair it is, etc. There is nothing at all wrong with doing that. Everybody feels that way sometimes and it's good to get it off your chest and it helps put things into perspective.

Some of those people listen to advice and try it, some listen and can't try it, some have a reason they can't do anything to improve things not even run a brush through their hair or make any effort to help themselves. Some of them have legitimate reasons, some have reasons that are ever changing and always something new, bad and dramatic, and some really don't feel that they are worth doing it for so they see no point in trying. Some will read what someone else says and co-opt their reasons.

What I've seen from you is that you post and talk about how bad you are, how nobody would like you etc. When people give you suggestions there's reasons you can't do it. Well, if those reasons are true then they are true and you do have our sympathy, and our hopes that things improve for you. But what it seems like to me is that you want to come here and put yourself down so that people will try and help and you just want to argue with them. Like you just want to pick a fight with somebody and say how people are so mean to you, because of an argument you started when they tried to tell you that you aren't as bad as you think you are.

So, what do you want?

Well, okey dokey then.

You don't have a snowball's chance in hell, so don't even try. It's useless and it wont work so youll just be wasting your time. You are completely right in everything you have said about yourself and we were wrong.

That better?

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA. ;-)

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

Xenu
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10 Jun 2012, 1:25 pm

This probably won't have much use but I'll go ahead and offer some advice.

First off as was stated before (I only read the first page of this thread btw) you being able to write this with correct grammar and spelling means you aren't borderline ret*d, chances are with your Aspergers the school system just thought you were because you didn't learn like normal kids (I had the same issue but I'm definitely not ret*d)

Second of all, if you are so upset with your physical appearance then why not get off your ass and force yourself to fix yourself. Start working out, start going on walks and gradually turn that into going on runs, dress in clothes that make yourself look somewhat better.

Third, socialize with people. It's hard at first but if you want to be happier then you have to force yourself out of your comfort zone to do it. You like anime and video games? Then why not see if there are any local anime or video game clubs in your area? I know pretty much every community college has a video game or anime club so why not try and go to one of those?

And fourth, once you feel you are somewhat more up to speed with daily life after completing the first 3 steps why not try and go back to school and at least get a GED? Also try and get a job at something like gamestop or a local comics shop as it would be working in a field you are interested. That way you would have a bit more responsibility and you'd have the chance to be looked at as an adult.

It isn't impossible man and if you put in the effort required you can do it.

EDIT: Also, in regards to the hygiene issue, showering of course is a must to get friends. But also got out and get a spray bottle of Old Spice (I find that women like Swagger the most). Pretty much all men wear a spray on deodorant as well as showering to ensure they smell nice.

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