Being a "lady"

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Pyrite
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17 Jul 2012, 8:24 pm

minotaurheadcheese wrote:

One sorority at my campus has these t-shirts that say "A [sorority name-- can't remember it] is cool, classy, and always a lady!" It makes me gag a little whenever I see them, but I wonder what others think in the context of love and dating.

So, what does "lady" mean to you? (Or "cool" and "classy" for that matter.) Women-- would you like to be described that way? People who are attracted to women-- if someone you liked described herself as a "lady," would you find that attractive?

I always thought "cool" and "lady-like" were exclusive of each other.

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edgewaters
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17 Jul 2012, 8:36 pm

ValentineWiggin wrote:

Interesting people have so many different takes on the word.

I most often think of it, I guess, as a slightly-negative term someone uses for a female stranger, as in

"Hey lady, I was in line first!"

I guess that is sort of like "hey buddy", not an insult and not exactly a declaration of hostility but almost like a reminder that you're a stranger and you haven't got the familiarity to be taking such liberties. Or sometimes not that but just to get the person's attention ... "hey buddy/lady, you dropped your wallet"

The blue collar version of "excuse me"

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17 Jul 2012, 8:38 pm

I don't know exactly why, but I always have a negative reaction to the word "lady" being used today. For example, when I see a guy's online dating profile and he says something like "I want to meet a nice lady..." or "Hey all you ladies out there", it makes me cringe and I really don't feel like they are talking to me at all. When a woman claims to be a lady, I imagine she thinks she has good manners (in an old-fashioned sense) and presents herself in a feminine, conservative way.

ValentineWiggin
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17 Jul 2012, 8:39 pm

edgewaters wrote:

The blue collar version of "excuse me"

I like that explanation.

I refer to people as "Sir and "Ma'am", out of respect/politeness, and though I still live in the South where such things used to be the norm, am finding that doing so anymore quickly establishes me as an outsider. People are becoming more...abrupt.

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hyperlexian
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17 Jul 2012, 10:13 pm

ValentineWiggin wrote:

I most often think of it, I guess, as a slightly-negative term someone uses for a female stranger, as in

"Hey lady, I was in line first!"

that's how i see it. or like this:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RWOIVm4MfI[/youtube]

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MXH
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17 Jul 2012, 10:17 pm

i dont know where either of you live, but where i have lived that line would go more like "Hey -itch, I was in line first!"

hyperlexian
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17 Jul 2012, 10:24 pm

in canada we are relatively polite, for some reason. the only time strangers really swear at each other is if they are intoxicated or if they are driving.

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hyperlexian
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17 Jul 2012, 10:30 pm

minotaurheadcheese wrote:

[sorority name-- can't remember it] is cool, classy, and always a lady!"

by the way, this also makes me gag. :eew:

i like the idea of being cool, but the other two adjectives will never, ever describe me. i am very proud of that fact. my parents raised me right.

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edgewaters
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17 Jul 2012, 10:34 pm

ValentineWiggin wrote:

edgewaters wrote:

The blue collar version of "excuse me"

It's gone in the opposite direction here ... "hey lady" or "hey buddy" has gone out of fashion. I think of it more from when I was growing up, 70s and 80s, and even then I associate it with an older generation. "Excuse me" is used in its stead now.

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17 Jul 2012, 10:53 pm

Pyrite wrote:

I always thought "cool" and "lady-like" were exclusive of each other.

I don't think it means that kind of cool on the shirt.
Be cool. As in, levelheaded. Keep your cool.
Not, like- OMG, your super trendy new boots are so cool that I'm going to get a tattoo of you on my face so I can be cool too.

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17 Jul 2012, 11:00 pm

hyperlexian wrote:

i like the idea of being cool, but the other two adjectives will never, ever describe me.

Their idea of classy is probably a tramp stamp that involves the word 'Prada'.
People who have to describe themselves as classy in a non-ironic way are usually the exact opposite of the definition of classy.

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17 Jul 2012, 11:02 pm

hyperlexian wrote:

in canada we are relatively polite, for some reason. the only time strangers really swear at each other is if they are intoxicated or if they are driving.

Your way of using lady isnt polite. It brings a negative conotation. Its not the actual words that determine if something is polite, but what you're saying that does.

i_Am_andaJoy
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17 Jul 2012, 11:05 pm

hyperlexian wrote:

minotaurheadcheese wrote:

[sorority name-- can't remember it] is cool, classy, and always a lady!"

by the way, this also makes me gag. :eew:

i like the idea of being cool, but the other two adjectives will never, ever describe me. i am very proud of that fact. my parents raised me right.

oook... you want people to know you have absolutely no class and are not a lady.

i'm sure people will appreciate the tip on how NOT to insult you since you are proud of these facts, but i find this is just further evidence that i do not understand Canadians...

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edgewaters
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17 Jul 2012, 11:16 pm

i_Am_andaJoy wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

minotaurheadcheese wrote:

[sorority name-- can't remember it] is cool, classy, and always a lady!"

by the way, this also makes me gag. :eew:

i like the idea of being cool, but the other two adjectives will never, ever describe me. i am very proud of that fact. my parents raised me right.

"Classy" sounds stuck-up and snobbish, and lady has its own problems, and both of them sound a bit parochial and antiquated. Someone who described herself as a "classy lady" would be seen by many as a woman lacking in style/character, not possessing it.

Although I have heard "classy" used in a sarcastic sense, to mean someone is being a jerk, more or less.

Last edited by edgewaters on 17 Jul 2012, 11:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

MXH
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17 Jul 2012, 11:17 pm

So what have we learned from this thread?

Theres no way to please a woman

hyperlexian
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17 Jul 2012, 11:25 pm

MXH wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

in canada we are relatively polite, for some reason. the only time strangers really swear at each other is if they are intoxicated or if they are driving.

Your way of using lady isnt polite. It brings a negative conotation. Its not the actual words that determine if something is polite, but what you're saying that does.

i've never been called "lady" like that in real life... only on this forum. we are in fact reasonably polite here in Canada.

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