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the cheating part would make me throw up. she would never be the same to me.

^^ Alanis Morissette is a b*tch.

For some reason when people I know describe a woman as "really cool" it's a code for "I want to have coitus with her [but it would probably be frowned-upon to say that]."

Not all humans think racist/sexist things when hurt by someone of a different race or sex. Brave ones acknowledge it as wrong when they do, and work to overcome their unconscious and subconscious prejudices.
They certainly don't get defensive about it, and try to justify that prejudice. There isn't a justification.

No, the only thing you can do is point it out as wrong.

Sexism because someone of another sex hurt you isn't reasonable, and it makes you unattractive to the opposite sex.

Eh?

I agree. Why is it so hard for people to condemn misogyny and sexism in general?

Nope. Not a one of them was sex-specific.

Last edited by ValentineWiggin on 14 Oct 2012, 1:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Language IS a tool, and specific words can be extensions of and perpetuations of systems of inequality-
"b*tches" and "n*ggers" are words used to degrade people on the basis of sex and race, for example.
What you call "political correctness" other people call "simple human decency".
Words can't hurt people?

Do we still believe in Santa Clause, too, because that's just about as laughable.

Cutesifying likening women to female dogs is disturbing.

Denotative and connotative.

I don't really differentiate between derogatory words for an individual based on their membership in a group vs. their entire group.

"a**hole" doesn't denotatively refer to males exclusively- I agree that gender-neutral language is the ideal, though.

You're preaching to the choir, but I don't blame people for behaving that way in the autism spectrum. What we should be doing is helping people learn not to be this way instead of being opportunistic to slate the other sex because of their sexist viewpoint because that is no better in itself. Consider a white racist waiting for a black racist to say his piece to further the white racist's own viewpoint that black people are whatever the white racist wants to portray them as. And I'm pretty sure you have been guilty of venting out against the other sex as have I. Please let's not hold a double standard.

Now you're just kicking your feet in a tantrum and prolonging things (as now am I!). Come on Wiggins, you're better than this!

Yes, being a dick is not specific. Well done. Anyways, what is your contribution to the topic? You seem to be just jumping in to hate for kicks. That is not very productive or helpful to the OP (however jaded his opinion may be). Again, we should be helping people learn not to think like this, not using their hatred towards women based on an experience of theirs to justify hatred towards men based on an experience (or many) you had.

In regards to the "you're one to talk", I am referring to a couple of comments from one of voyager's threads.

OP, again I say in that situation I would end the relationship. I would have ended it before a lot of that even began. Maybe not the old me but the new me would. There are lots of times in life where we see things and people as better than life and when life hits us with them we are soon reminded they are only what they are and we either take them as they are or avoid. In the case of the example you've given, while I don't agree with the wording (I'm guessing this is not a comment made from experience) I would certainly avoid this person and next time I was to have a crush be more realistic about how ideal that person is and not get too lost in daydreams and fantasies.

Can any of you provide me an example where a**hole is commonly used to refer to a female?
Until that happens any discussion about not using the b word is pointless unless we encourage members to avoid terms like a**hole as well

I thought we were not meant to be addressing each other this way in the forum anyway, let alone males or females in general in the 3rd person.

Autism spectrum or not, that kind of thinking is irrational and harmful.
How can we help people learn not to be this way if we can't even point out that this type of thinking is flawed, exactly?
I'm genuinely-curious.
I'm also interested where I've been guilty of "venting out against the other sex"-
even if I have, I have no problems saying it was indefensible of me.
That doesn't make it less true when I say it's wrong. (Tu quo que.)


That one is, but I hadn't yet seen it. I agree.

When pointing out hatred is considered hatred, we're living in interesting times.


Pointing out that "b*tch" is sexist and misogynist is "hatred towards men"?
Again, interesting times.
That requires a few leaps in logic I have not mastered mentally, I don't think.

Okay. Still have no clue, but it was wrong of me, and it's just as wrong when OP calls women "b*tches".
Agree?

If they hurt you, that is your problem. As I suggested before, a truckload of Kleenex can help you. Besides, the OP was not even talking about you (I think; did you cheat him before? ): he was merely using "bad words" to refer to a woman (who may be hypothetical; he never said it was a real situation) who did bad things to him.

As I said: language is a tool.


I was actually refering to the real meaning of the word "b***h", but your butthurt reaction made it a lot funnier than I meant it to be. Thank you!

God, you people need to be less offended. It is very annoying.

P.S.: Regardless of the rudeness of my post, I hope you do not take this personally. I have no interest in making enemies over the internet. Or in continuing this discussion. therefore, I will stop replying now and go back to reading DC Comics' Flashpoint.

I was hoping not to have to spell this out,
but everyone has an a**hole.
The reference is not sex-specific at it's root, even if it's used that way, culturally (and not exclusively- I've heard women described as "a**holes" for rude or hurtful behavior, but "b*tch" in reference to men seems to be used only when he embodies feminine behaviors or characteristics [shudder]).
"B*tch" has a very gendered meaning, and always has.

I tried to implement that rule 24/7 but according to alex you have to turn a blind eye most of the time and let people sound as they wish.

That said theres a rule in case someone decided to start overusing them or started using this terms merely to upset the other gender(not relevant in the context whatsoever...)

That said if we were to come up with an agreement on which words are valid and which arent as a group I could make a list and post it as a sticky, in case anyone contacted alex about it I could direct him there and say it was members decission.

We were talking about the derogatory term.
By your logic I could say that b refers to JanuaryMan´s picture

You are right to be offended by the language, that was not the point I was making. My point was there are men and women on this board that unashamedly jump into topics the moment this sort of language rears it's head and they are rather obsessive about it. In fact, for the most part they are only focused on these topics. For one example, someone insecure about their weight tends to keep poking their head into topics ONLY once weight gets mentioned and bring in all sorts of bizarre analogies and logical fallacies.Note that I said both men and women, and not one individual from either camp. All I'm saying is it gets boring, and solves nothing as both sexes only get their own prophecy about each other fulfilled.

I guess in short, we have to try looking at the OP's experience however offensive it is and stop making this a personal stake. That is how most of the topics here go off topic. One or more people come and make it about their own problems with the topic and not the OP's problems. If the language is offensive, challenge it, report it if need be. But don't use it as an opportunity to be rude back.

You can't control when you are and are not offended by things but you can control your reaction. The "offensive to be offended" rhetoric falls on 2 deaf ears. Also, please don't see this as a personal attack just as a line of reasoning and if you totally disagree I understand.

They don't hurt me- I couldn't care less about the opinions of misogynists and sexists, except when they vomit them in a public forum.
I do care that casually referring to women using terms like that perpetuates a culture of sexism,
and I find it interesting that it's so hard for some men to condemn it.

I would probably care less if OP was referring to me specifically- using "b*tches" to refer generically to women he doesn't like is twice as disturbing.

I agreed. That's very important.

There's a word called "privilege" that you need to look up.

Any woman who acts as the OP described deserves to be referred to as a b***h. That doesn't mean he refers to all women as b*****s...