Dating sites are a terrible way to meet people

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hale_bopp
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03 Jan 2013, 6:37 pm

hyperlexian wrote:

wtfid2 wrote:

t's true!! !
i still want to know why her name is green though :p Maybe because she shares a name with princess fiona from shrek

she used to be a moderator of this section a few years back. alex never got around to removing the green glow.

hale_bopp, have you tried setting up a dating profile with no photos, or messaging men you are interested in?

That isn't the issue.

It doesn't matter how interesting people might seem on the internet. The fact remains you never really know much about them until you meet them. It almost seems like a waste of time, may as well just meet people in real life to start with.

wtfid2
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03 Jan 2013, 6:53 pm

hale_bopp wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

wtfid2 wrote:

t's true!! !
i still want to know why her name is green though :p Maybe because she shares a name with princess fiona from shrek

It's only a waste of time with flakers who lead you into believing they'll meet you and stop responding when you try to set something up *fuming lol*
If you think about it, if you talk to someone online for one week and then meet them, you already know more about them than you would if you just met them at the store and then went on a first date after. Another thing to consider is that we all aren't as fortunate as you in that we can meet mates in person :p.

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yellowtamarin
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03 Jan 2013, 6:59 pm

hale_bopp wrote:

It doesn't matter how interesting people might seem on the internet. The fact remains you never really know much about them until you meet them. It almost seems like a waste of time, may as well just meet people in real life to start with.

Or you could just do both and increase your odds? The people I've met from online dating sites I almost certainly would never have met otherwise. I almost never get asked out in the real world, so I love online dating.

As for not knowing much about them, you know more about them than you know about a random person at a bar (or wherever). So isn't there more chance you will get along with them than the person at the bar? May as well do both.

hale_bopp
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03 Jan 2013, 7:34 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

I see what you mean. But It wasn't really the point. I find it uncomfortable. And in 10 years I've only ever met about 5 or so people who I've really hit it off with and become good offline friends with from the internet, it's a real hit and miss for me. At least at a bar you know then and there how they come across rather than playing message table tennis for weeks then meeting them to find out you have no chemistry even for friends and overall it was an awful experience.

Tim_Tex
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04 Jan 2013, 12:43 am

I gave up on dating sites because I don't seem to fit anybody's description of an ideal mate.

I don't want anybody settling for me, nor do I want to be anyone's "only hope". I want to be someone's ideal mate.

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ALguy1957
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04 Jan 2013, 1:09 am

Stargazer43 wrote:

Tyri0n wrote:

Perhaps. But for people on the spectrum, I think they are better than any alternative. At least there, you know for sure they are interested in dating. For guys, the alternative involves being able to understand flirting and knowing how to ask women out. If you can't understand body language, you're more likely to be labeled a creep. I usually just hope that women ask me out. Sometimes it happens; more often, it doesn't.

Exactly, that's the main reason I use them...you know everyone there is single and looking to date, so there is no question about intentions. Whereas with approaching someone in your general community, there's always the risk that you'll end up damaging your reputation, which has unfortunately happened to me in the past. I personally don't think that dating sites are ideal, but to be perfectly honest it's the only option that I really see as viable for me at the moment. And I really don't think that meeting someone from the internet is any more risky than meeting someone that you met at say, a bar. As long as you follow all the proper safety precautions and are aware of your surroundings.

I use them and have had some success. At my age women aren't after sex, just guys to fit their long list of conditions for an LTR. But there are always a few exceptions that will date me. The only other alternative might be a meetup group but there aren't any in my area except an atheist group (which I did join since I am not religious) but so far I have only met married people there or college students (way too young for me). A few times I get women contacting me first on those sites too! Just had one on OKCupid yesterday but haven't heard back yet. The only woman I had 3 month intimate relationship with contacted me first too. (And remains a good online friend).

hyperlexian
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04 Jan 2013, 8:25 am

hale_bopp wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

wtfid2 wrote:

t's true!! !
i still want to know why her name is green though :p Maybe because she shares a name with princess fiona from shrek

i didn't have that problem, as i could tell what they would be like in real life from how they came across online. i got to know them really well before i'd meet in person though. maybe some aspies can't "read" personalities online?

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The_Face_of_Boo
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04 Jan 2013, 8:39 am

hyperlexian wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

wtfid2 wrote:

t's true!! !
i still want to know why her name is green though :p Maybe because she shares a name with princess fiona from shrek

Unless you use extensive cam to cam, hale bopp is right.

The_Face_of_Boo
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04 Jan 2013, 8:41 am

tell me hyperlexian, what am I like in real life?

hyperlexian
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04 Jan 2013, 8:49 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

wtfid2 wrote:

t's true!! !
i still want to know why her name is green though :p Maybe because she shares a name with princess fiona from shrek

Unless you use extensive cam to cam, hale bopp is right.

extensive cam to cam is definitely a big help, as is extensive writing. and both together are best of all. i don't think you can tell much from a profile, but i think you can tell a lot from online communication. if a person jumps straight into in-person dating after only the bare minimum period of online communication, they won't really know much about the person yet, so they are still a stranger.

but again, if a person isn't feeling like they know people they are meeting online, perhaps they are switching to dating in-person quickly, or perhaps some aspies have an impairment that prevents them from being able to discern personality from online communication. many, many people use online dating with a great deal of success so i wouldn't say as a blanket statement that it is a "terrible way to meet people". it just might not be the best method for every person.

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hyperlexian
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04 Jan 2013, 8:54 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

tell me hyperlexian, what am I like in real life?

since when have we been dating online? or going on cam?

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The_Face_of_Boo
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04 Jan 2013, 8:57 am

hyperlexian wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

tell me hyperlexian, what am I like in real life?

since when have we been dating online? or going on cam?

You have amnesia, a horrible one.

hyperlexian
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04 Jan 2013, 8:59 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

tell me hyperlexian, what am I like in real life?

since when have we been dating online? or going on cam?

You have amnesia, a horrible one.

sorry Boo, you can't have alllllllll the women of WP :wink:

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ArrantPariah
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04 Jan 2013, 8:59 am

hyperlexian wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

tell me hyperlexian, what am I like in real life?

since when have we been dating online? or going on cam?

How does one "date online?"

The_Face_of_Boo
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04 Jan 2013, 9:02 am

ArrantPariah wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

tell me hyperlexian, what am I like in real life?

since when have we been dating online? or going on cam?

How does one "date online?"

Watch Transformers || (a s**t movie)

hyperlexian
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04 Jan 2013, 9:19 am

ArrantPariah wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

tell me hyperlexian, what am I like in real life?

since when have we been dating online? or going on cam?

How does one "date online?"

it's a long distance relationship... online.

http://www.dating-weblog.com/50226711/t ... onship.php

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