How to revive my interest in dating/women?

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If I recall correctly you had some issues with an ex badmouthing you in the aspie group this summer.

I believe this is what may be holding you back and what you need to work on.
It doesnt matter what your ex says or what she feels about you getting back in the game, if you feel ready you are more than free to approach/be approached by any woman you fancy

you dismissed hartzofspace's advice because of her gender.
periphery dismissed your advice because of your lack of experience.

there is a lovely parallel there.

Be genuinely interested in them, OkCupid seems to have more interesting people on it, although I have dated people from both sites, OkCupid got me more action than Plenty of fish so yes, OkCupid is probably better for us males on the spectrum.

Though the ratio of women on Plenty of Fish might be higher, OkCupid tends to have more intellectual and creative types so it depends what type of girl you are looking for.

It's between me and hartzofspace.

Sounds good but I'd knock bars and clubs on the head, I have never been into them personally and to be honest, they are meat markets. To be honest the laundrette might be an odd place, I wrote a thread a while ago called Good places to meet women but in all honesty dating websites might be your best bet, I have found OkCupid to be slightly better than Plenty of Fish and here's why.

OkCupid experience - Sex, oral sex, making out, friends, sex on a first date, women willing to travel over 30 miles to meet me, women paying for dates.

Plenty of Fish experience - Friends, local dates, sometimes the women would pay, sometimes the women would expect me to pay for them.

To be honest, I would try both if I were you because you might appeal to the women on plenty of fish or OkCupid, it probably depends on what sort of person are.

no, it's on a public forum for everyone to read. you dismissed her advice based on gender, and someone dismissed yours based on experience. what's fair for you to do is fair for others to do.

if you have an issue with hartzofspace, that's hardly the way to deal with it. you can ignore her posts if there is bad blood between you, but her advice isn't rendered invalid by your issue with her.

I have no issue with hartzofspace,I was totally polite with her in my reply.

I didn't dismiss her advice because of her gender, I dismissed it because of the OP's gender; what worked for her can't work for him because he's a male and hence he has totally different circumstances; something that hartzofspace didn't think about.

But periphery was obviously trying to belittle me.

uhhhhhh no. hartzofspace's advice can work for either gender (she made the post with a male OP in mind), and your dismissal of her advice because she is female was on par with periphery's dismissal of your advice based on experience. if you want to consider yourself belittled, then you must also consider your own comments belittling. i don't think you realise how you came across.

at this point we are talking in circles, so i won't continue repeating myself,

No, in reality and in most cases, it doesn't, that where we disagree. Telling her that wasn't belittling.

Yeah, let's stop going in circles.

No, that wasn't the reason. Read back to that initial post of Boo's and notice that he actually suggested she provide a more suitable advice for the OP considering his gender. He didn't dismiss her based on her gender.

You only saw what you wanted to see.

no, you're flipping it around. Boo was dismissing her advice because of her gender (i don't think you read the post):



your extremely helpful contribution to the conversation was this:


i am not sure what the purpose of that comment was, other than flaming or goading. whatever the case, it clarified for me that you are more interested in encouraging conflict and taking sides than having an objective discussion. so i don't have anything else to say to you about this.

That bolded statement supports what I said.

I guess you just needed to take sides and defend a female member at all costs.

Point in the quoted post where I said "I dismiss your advice because you are female?" I didn't even mention the word female or woman.

I said MALES several times.

And in the last line I said "consider the gender" not her gender, and by that I was obviously meaning the gender of whom we are giving advice to.

Gawd, you REALLY see what you want to see.

You know you've got a good thread when people have a separate argument in it

Wolf, I found the types of eople from PoF and OKC are indeed different. I'd say OKC is definitely more casual whereas PoF is somewhere between OKC and Match. The messages exchanged on PoF led to one hang out session with a student girl when I was living in Ireland a couple of years back. Nothing came of it though. Can't say I am one for casual sex and activity encounters, though. The old me would have done all that and to be fair I'm getting older now and would rather settle down with one person. But hey those sites try and cater for many people's needs and I respect other's needs are different from my own. I'll keep working on my profile and message the ladie now and again but from my own experiences I don't think I work very well with net dating every girl I've dated bar 1 has been through meeting locally off of a computer.

hartz I'm definitely in the right frame of mind to meet someone I'd say the problem is I haven't found a woman I've fallen for or gone smitten over in a while. I think users here helped me pinpoint some underlying causes in my lack of drive despite wanting all the thrills and spills of love and dating, and I'm gonna work on those. Love definitely comes when you don't expect it as cliche as it sounds.

sponge I have almost worked past all that now. It is a slight concern of mine still when talking to other girls in the group and so I distaned both mysef and my thoughts admittedly from them. But hey it's worth a shot right? I'll just introduce myself, talk to them and everyone as normal and see how it goes!

He's my personal cheerleader, why are you jealous?

No, man. Cheerleaders don't do what I do. They just stand and cheer. I take action and fight some of the fights for others when necessary.