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Marriage and Name Changes

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Northeastern292
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18 Mar 2013, 10:04 pm

meems wrote:
blue_bean wrote:
I don't mind either way. I'd take his surname just for the novelty of having a new surname. I'd keep my surname if I was his second wife though, because I don't want to be the second Mrs Something or other (I wouldn't want the same surname as his first wife if she's never changed back to her maiden name or remarred).

Some women keep their names because they've built an identity around it (business and workwise) and it's too much hassle and paperwork to change their name on everything. No nefarious feminist reasons, it's just more legally convenient that way.


This seems to be a common reason for keeping surnames.

There are lots of ideas about marriage and traditions that are followed that I don't quite have a grasp on. I might understand the history, but a lot of people adhering to these traditions in the present day is what I don't quite grasp. I think I would like to look into the reasoning behind people's choices in marriage, it's something I find very fascinating despite marriage having no appeal to me at this point in my life.


I don't know. I see taking a husband's last name as a double-standard. Rarely do men take their wive's last name, and the whole thing kinda makes me sqeem. I'd prefer my wife keep her maiden name. My mom did when she was married to my dad. With her marriage to my stepdad, she's either used his last name entirely or has added my stepdad's last name along to her last name, like hyphenating without the hyphen.



ShelbyGt500
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18 Mar 2013, 10:05 pm

I don't think name changes make sense for men or women. Divorce is normal, so don't burn your identity bridge.



meems
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18 Mar 2013, 10:40 pm

Stalk wrote:
meems wrote:
My sister admitted to me recently that the reason she and her husband didn't change either of their names after they got married(a civil marriage) was because they put it off and people assumed she wasn't going to change her name... and people in his family tried to push her to take his name and his mom even said she was obligated to do that. That made her uncomfortable, because it was their business and the decision wouldn't impact anyone else, so it wasn't really anyone else's place to offer up their opinion in the first place.

They aren't particularly political, she apparently had thought she would take his name, not for any particular reason, it just seemed like something to do, something she would eventually get around to when she had more time. But they were at his mom's house a few weeks after they got married and his mom kept pressing the issue and my sister said, in order to end the nagging about when she was going to get it done, she decided not to and ended the conversation about whether or not she was ever going to take his name then and there.

I've always liked that she kept her name, though.


that something to do, is called tradition.


She isn't the type who values tradition.


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19 Mar 2013, 1:07 am

I would never change my name. We don't do that in my culture.

I would never do it or ask anyone to do it.


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Stalk
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19 Mar 2013, 2:31 am

meems wrote:
Stalk wrote:
meems wrote:
My sister admitted to me recently that the reason she and her husband didn't change either of their names after they got married(a civil marriage) was because they put it off and people assumed she wasn't going to change her name... and people in his family tried to push her to take his name and his mom even said she was obligated to do that. That made her uncomfortable, because it was their business and the decision wouldn't impact anyone else, so it wasn't really anyone else's place to offer up their opinion in the first place.

They aren't particularly political, she apparently had thought she would take his name, not for any particular reason, it just seemed like something to do, something she would eventually get around to when she had more time. But they were at his mom's house a few weeks after they got married and his mom kept pressing the issue and my sister said, in order to end the nagging about when she was going to get it done, she decided not to and ended the conversation about whether or not she was ever going to take his name then and there.

I've always liked that she kept her name, though.


that something to do, is called tradition.


She isn't the type who values tradition.


that seems normal to do, from what I gather from speaking to most interracial, let me rephrase that, different religion/tradition couples are that their parents, the Grandparents will always meddle with the grand kids and the war will be between the grandparents wanting to enforce their tradition/religion on them. It will inevitably happen.



GiantHockeyFan
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19 Mar 2013, 10:49 am

I personally don't care much about my last name as it's just a title to call me and I only have one because I have to have one. Nobody call spell it anyway it's so rare and I have no contact with any relatives. I would prefer if I got married to have the same last name but it doesn't matter what it is. I told my parents I would be willing to take my GFs name if she insisted and they both turned nearly white as a ghost. I probably wouldn't but not because of tradition but because one coworker already has that name.

One thing I will admit annoys me in when (usually women) hypennate. I don't care what last name you use but I do get annoyed with hypenated names, especially when they use a hyphenated first name for their child. It's hard enough remembering everyone's first and last names!