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One Night Stand

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Cafeaulait
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03 Apr 2013, 12:03 pm

Tyri0n wrote:
Cafeaulait wrote:
I would probably never engage in a one night stand. I just can't have sex with someone I am not emotionally connected to, no matter how ogod looking that person may be.


What would you say to someone who is incapable of making emotional connections, like that part of the brain is gone? Are one-night stands wrong in that case?


I don´t know. I´m not that person. If they want it they should do it..



ShelbyGt500
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03 Apr 2013, 12:11 pm

AnarChrist wrote:
First off to be addressed: I am as of to-day 15. I ask such questions merely because that is what I ponder. I don't care about swag or what-not. I think about things beyond my age simply because I do. I listed thirty-two probably to exclude prejudice toward my age; I cannot recall.
I, personally, never intend nor want to have a one night stand. I wanted to know "y'all's" thoughts on the subject.
Yes, a romantic relationship can and most definitely does exist outside of sexual relations, especially so with unmarried Christians which I am one. My sense of morality is very strict regarding sexual relations amongst many other things.


Happy birthday! And, there is nothing wrong with thinking through your actions before you are in the situation.



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03 Apr 2013, 12:26 pm

Tyri0n wrote:
Cafeaulait wrote:
I would probably never engage in a one night stand. I just can't have sex with someone I am not emotionally connected to, no matter how ogod looking that person may be.


What would you say to someone who is incapable of making emotional connections, like that part of the brain is gone? Are one-night stands wrong in that case?


Well, I don't see anything wrong with one night stands per se, it's just that they don't suit some people's needs. But if someone truly likes them, and finds a willing partner who knows what he or she is getting into, well, why not?


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goldfish21
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03 Apr 2013, 12:29 pm

AnarChrist wrote:
First off to be addressed: I am as of to-day 15. I ask such questions merely because that is what I ponder. I don't care about swag or what-not. I think about things beyond my age simply because I do. I listed thirty-two probably to exclude prejudice toward my age; I cannot recall.
I, personally, never intend nor want to have a one night stand. I wanted to know "y'all's" thoughts on the subject.
Yes, a romantic relationship can and most definitely does exist outside of sexual relations, especially so with unmarried Christians which I am one. My sense of morality is very strict regarding sexual relations amongst many other things.


Myself, and many others like us, have all come across as older than we are, intellectually, throughout our lives. Many of us can relate to that. Same with not caring about swag or whatever word is trending to describe it at the time. At 15, I thought I might never do that either, but, now at 30 I can tell you that things may change and your stance on these things could be one of them. It's also possible that you never change your views on this, and that's ok, too. I'm an unmarried Christian & have had one night stands. The two aren't mutually exclusive. Your sense of morality isn't very strict, it's very indoctrinated. Your AS trait of following rules is very rigid, though, and that's why you see things like sexual relations as quite black and white morally right or wrong for you. Also wanted to point out that just because someone else decides a one night stand is ok for them doesn't mean they're necessarily doing anything immoral - just that they live their life by a different moral code than you do, and there's nothing wrong with either.


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danmac
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03 Apr 2013, 12:31 pm

AnarChrist wrote:
First off to be addressed: I am as of to-day 15. I ask such questions merely because that is what I ponder. I don't care about swag or what-not. I think about things beyond my age simply because I do. I listed thirty-two probably to exclude prejudice toward my age; I cannot recall.
I, personally, never intend nor want to have a one night stand. I wanted to know "y'all's" thoughts on the subject.
Yes, a romantic relationship can and most definitely does exist outside of sexual relations, especially so with unmarried Christians which I am one. My sense of morality is very strict regarding sexual relations amongst many other things.


many things will change, and some things you believe will be reinforced, teen years are for learning about relationships. so do what you believe and let the rest go, if your not hurting anyone, your fine, in time things of this nature will become clearer.


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AnarChrist
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03 Apr 2013, 9:33 pm

Quote:
Myself, and many others like us, have all come across as older than we are, intellectually, throughout our lives. Many of us can relate to that. Same with not caring about swag or whatever word is trending to describe it at the time. At 15, I thought I might never do that either, but, now at 30 I can tell you that things may change and your stance on these things could be one of them. It's also possible that you never change your views on this, and that's ok, too. I'm an unmarried Christian & have had one night stands. The two aren't mutually exclusive. Your sense of morality isn't very strict, it's very indoctrinated. Your AS trait of following rules is very rigid, though, and that's why you see things like sexual relations as quite black and white morally right or wrong for you. Also wanted to point out that just because someone else decides a one night stand is ok for them doesn't mean they're necessarily doing anything immoral - just that they live their life by a different moral code than you do, and there's nothing wrong with either.


I understand that in regards to others living a different moral code, and whether or not that it is right cannot be proven as of yet in this life. I am not very orthodox in any standard. I do change and have, but my morality in many regards and my attitude toward many things have become more of an exaggerated form of what I already had. My black and white thinking is focused a great deal more on the motivation of actions. If a girl were to give oral sex to a boy to feel accepted or because "oh, it's what the other girls are doing and he expects it" BS or whatever by the boy is wrong(in my eyes) in contrast to doing so to please him or because she enjoys the activity; it can also go vice versa.



goldfish21
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04 Apr 2013, 2:50 pm

AnarChrist wrote:
I understand that in regards to others living a different moral code, and whether or not that it is right cannot be proven as of yet in this life.


How do you figure that?

All that's required is that someone believes their moral code to be moral, and then it is - to them - the only person it matters to.

Should someone be lying to themselves about believing something to be moral when it isn't, they'll know they're only trying to fool themselves, especially when they feel guilt or shame about having done something they truly believe to be immoral/unethical etc.

I ate ham last night. I have no belief that I shouldn't for any reason, and thus no problem with having done it. Someone of a different faith my believe that eating pork is a terribly wrong thing to do, so they wouldn't do it in the first place, but if they did then they'd feel awful about it.

Get what I'm saying here? The only thing required for a different moral code to be right & real is for the person who abides by it to believe it. That's it, that's all.


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ShelbyGt500
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04 Apr 2013, 3:27 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
AnarChrist wrote:
I understand that in regards to others living a different moral code, and whether or not that it is right cannot be proven as of yet in this life.


How do you figure that?

All that's required is that someone believes their moral code to be moral, and then it is - to them - the only person it matters to.

Should someone be lying to themselves about believing something to be moral when it isn't, they'll know they're only trying to fool themselves, especially when they feel guilt or shame about having done something they truly believe to be immoral/unethical etc.

I ate ham last night. I have no belief that I shouldn't for any reason, and thus no problem with having done it. Someone of a different faith my believe that eating pork is a terribly wrong thing to do, so they wouldn't do it in the first place, but if they did then they'd feel awful about it.

Get what I'm saying here? The only thing required for a different moral code to be right & real is for the person who abides by it to believe it. That's it, that's all.


The two of you appear to be advocating the philosophy of "Moral Relativism."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moral_relativism

For my part, I think there are some absolute morals, which are sometimes referred to at "Moral Imperatives."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moral_imperative

Most laws, both civil and criminal, are founded in some sort of universal moral imperative. Then, there are the areas of ethics, such as medial and legal ethics that are regulated. Beyond that, there are morals and ethics that are not outright imperative or enforceable, rather they are matters of personal discretion. And now, an application of practical common sense: One-night stands are not a big deal as long as the surrounding decisions are smart. To wit, don't be a sperm donor for an arbitrary bar slut.



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04 Apr 2013, 4:11 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
This is the One Night Stand that I want to make for myself one of these days, mainly because it's a hilarious piece of functional art furniture.

Image



:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:



cakey
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04 Apr 2013, 6:32 pm

Those little table things are funny. Anyhow, I would not like a one night stand either since I personally view sexual relations/actions as something special that should be shared between loving/ccaring people. I wouldn't want to be a vessel in which a person pleases himself in an only to that end. I would feel a bit "used". Well for other people, they have no problem with it, but I can't put myself in their shoes.


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goldfish21
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05 Apr 2013, 3:49 pm

cakey wrote:
Those little table things are funny. Anyhow, I would not like a one night stand either since I personally view sexual relations/actions as something special that should be shared between loving/ccaring people. I wouldn't want to be a vessel in which a person pleases himself in an only to that end. I would feel a bit "used". Well for other people, they have no problem with it, but I can't put myself in their shoes.


This assumes that only the male receives pleasure from the act. There are plenty of women who have one night stands with men due to the pleasure they receive from it.

Sex between two loving/caring people is different, though, vs. just a casual hookup for mutual physical pleasure - that's for sure.


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cakey
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05 Apr 2013, 4:24 pm

goldfish21, No, I agree women feel pleasure too. I meant if I were to engage in a one-nighter I would STILL feel used since I was used just for pleasure and I would also feel funny using him just for pleasure as well.


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05 Apr 2013, 5:24 pm

cakey wrote:
goldfish21, No, I agree women feel pleasure too. I meant if I were to engage in a one-nighter I would STILL feel used since I was used just for pleasure and I would also feel funny using him just for pleasure as well.


See, and that's the thing.. it's because of your beliefs and thoughts about this that you'd feel that way. (and that's OK!) Whereas some women will pursue a one night stand for their own pleasure and not care one iota whether their partner feels pleasured or w/e as it's pretty well their intention to use the guy to satisfy their needs. It's not as common as guys doing this to girls, but it does happen. The biggest reason it's so one sided is that sex is mainly physical for guys, and largely emotional for women - so women typically need to feel an emotional bond for their to be attraction and sex to occur, but not all women all of the time. Same goes for guys, they're not all about themselves 100% of the time and only about physical pleasure, just most of them most of the time. :P


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05 Apr 2013, 5:59 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
cakey wrote:
goldfish21, No, I agree women feel pleasure too. I meant if I were to engage in a one-nighter I would STILL feel used since I was used just for pleasure and I would also feel funny using him just for pleasure as well.


See, and that's the thing.. it's because of your beliefs and thoughts about this that you'd feel that way. (and that's OK!) Whereas some women will pursue a one night stand for their own pleasure and not care one iota whether their partner feels pleasured or w/e as it's pretty well their intention to use the guy to satisfy their needs. It's not as common as guys doing this to girls, but it does happen. The biggest reason it's so one sided is that sex is mainly physical for guys, and largely emotional for women - so women typically need to feel an emotional bond for their to be attraction and sex to occur, but not all women all of the time. Same goes for guys, they're not all about themselves 100% of the time and only about physical pleasure, just most of them most of the time. :P


Well said. I agree.



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05 Apr 2013, 6:08 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
cakey wrote:
goldfish21, No, I agree women feel pleasure too. I meant if I were to engage in a one-nighter I would STILL feel used since I was used just for pleasure and I would also feel funny using him just for pleasure as well.


See, and that's the thing.. it's because of your beliefs and thoughts about this that you'd feel that way. (and that's OK!) Whereas some women will pursue a one night stand for their own pleasure and not care one iota whether their partner feels pleasured or w/e as it's pretty well their intention to use the guy to satisfy their needs. It's not as common as guys doing this to girls, but it does happen. The biggest reason it's so one sided is that sex is mainly physical for guys, and largely emotional for women - so women typically need to feel an emotional bond for their to be attraction and sex to occur, but not all women all of the time. Same goes for guys, they're not all about themselves 100% of the time and only about physical pleasure, just most of them most of the time. :P


And, don't forget free drinks, free drugs, and those for whom having a baby is part of their financial plan. Or, a willingness to buy a bar-rush breakfast can be enough. There are all sorts of reasons for both genders.



cakey
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05 Apr 2013, 7:27 pm

Yes, well I don't know if I feel this way because of beliefs or just because I'm more comfortable with finding pleasure with the person I love. It's as though if I let myself have pleasure without love, then there wouldn't be much specialness when I do the same with the person I trust the most. In addition, I like to think of the action as very magical and special, not rushed and without emotion. It could be as you say, my beliefs, or it could be inherit as some like to believe. I don't know where this view comes from but I do know it's how I feel for it and content that way. I don't find anything wrong if a person feels great having casual sex; I have many friends that enjoy doing that. The world is more interesting with different views like this.


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