To those who all think directness is the answer

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The last girl that was direct with me impressed me at first. However, she suddenly got pissed off with just about anything I was saying or doing afterwards. Needless to say, it didn't work out for either of us and things are better now. I sense there was a possibilty she wanted control and I chose not to give in to her.

What does it mean to be direct? Can someone give me an example in context? Do you mean to confront. Or to be specific?

Mm ok this was me as a youngster...

Stranger .."Can I buy you a drink?"
Me .." Thanks. Before you do I am here tonight to just listen to the band and talk. You are welcome to chat but I don't want to lead you on"
Stranger ..."Ok, thanks, bye/ Wow cool, my name is..."

Or..
Me.. "That thing/band/what you said was really good. Would you like a drink/coffee/to meet later?"
Acquaintance..."Yes/no/I have a girlfriend/were you saying something to me?"

I prefer people to be direct with me. I can't read signs at all, so I appreciate it greatly.

However, being direct with a guy does not guarantee that he'll feel the same any more than if you were indirect with him.

The only time I don't appreciate directness is when they've only known me for about an hour and think I'm the pinnacle of awesome. o.O I mean, I appreciate the compliment, but I find it impossible to believe.

At work in the past a group of them had arranged to go and see a new Star Wars film and a work colleague asked if I wanted to go too and I said no thanks. I said "Can't just you and I go to see a film together?" and he said "No". LOL I wasn't really offended to be quite honest as it was to the point and not offensive ie he just didn't want to and he had every right to say no if that was his choice. We are still friends though and I value his friendship. I understood where he was coming from really as there wasn't any chemistry between us, I just liked him as a person mainly.

Also a fling at work with another male colleague started when I told him I liked him a lot. If you don't ask you don't get a lot of the time, but you've obviously got to be getting positive signals from a person and you've got to be prepared for a 'No' lol
Although the fling wasn't a good idea really as it destroyed my longest term relationship

I'm all for being upfront and not beating around the bush, then you know where you stand and can stop dithering about wondering if a person feels the same as you.

I needed somebody to be nice and direct with me.

It's better if a girl is direct with me because I may have a chance with her instead of her asking me in a subtle way and missing out on a date. Does that make sense to you OP?

So what is the answer.... patience?

You're all right.

I feel like such an idiot. I give up with people. The only ones worth getting to know are the ones who *want* you to realise they like you.

Yes, there is a process...but when it's that slow? The guy or girl wanting to take it so slow is just making up their mind whether they want you or not...which is crap. And you'd probably lose them easily once you did get together.

Yes. I am upset. I'm sick of being messed around by "friends" too, the latest bunch being racist, arrogant, conservative b*stards. I am upset that I've made an effort, with no pushiness or expectation...only to be trodden on.

I am sick of people thinking they can be mean to me IRL, just because I am quiet. Completely sick of it.

A lot of great things can be done quietly.