Do women make lots of effort to attract men?

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Women put a lot more into their physical appearance than men do. Still, when it comes to beginning the relationship, men are supposed to put in most of the effort. Women are to look pretty, and men are to be good wooers. Sucks for women who aren't naturally pretty and men who are introverted.

I accept that in the ritual of attraction men do more work, but that doesn't mean that in order to engage that, the women hasnt put effort in :p

I think your question has already been answered but Kmart had the best basic starting point.

Women are expected to put in a lot more effort just to be "socially acceptable" than men are. This is just to be accepted by people in general. If you are trying to be accepted by other women - then as MD pointed out, the standards become much higher again. If you are trying to attract men, then the standards are still just as high, only in a different way.

I think as to why, it comes down to the individual. Some individuals have an external locus of control - that is they primarily seek validation of their worth from others. Others have an internal locus of control - that is they primarily get validation from themselves. The thing is, a woman in the former, is going to dress up and get pretty to be accepted by men, other women, and society, usually in that order. A woman in the latter category may make the same amount of effort as the other woman, but the difference is she will be doing it almost or solely for herself.

Unless you know someone well, it's hard to say how much they do it for themselves, or how much they do it for others, or for which "others" they do it (society, women, men, colleagues, friends, etc).

I already have the most attractive men on my side and forced him to stay there with a magic ring. ^^Did you never had a situation, when you looked into the mirror in the morning and thought yourself..."Oh my god, horrible!" and simply wanted to change that? Not because there are other people with you in the bath, but simply because you wanted to look and have a nice feeling instead of thought how horrible you actually look like?

I dont care for make up, or jewelries or whatever, but when I eat unhealthy and dont do sports, my hair becomes like straw, i look tired and sad, I get spots all over the skin and the skin under my eyes becomes dark. I simply dont like that, because 1) it looks like I would have drunken for days and not slept all night and 2) its a sign of my body feeling physical unhappy because of me not caring for it with good food, enough sleep, movement ... and normally with that comes sooner or later my depression back, and there is no need to support getting a depression. So looking into the mirror and looking healthy, normally also is a good sign for me, that everything seems to be fine, and thats something to be happy about.

Yop having fun by simply doing one of the endless possibilities of sports you like, is so much worse, then being expected to remove violently your body hairs, working for hours to earn the money you give another person that wants to be payed to do nonsense with your hair monthly (around 45 EUR), your nails monthly (35 EUR), eat so less that you hardly can receive the daily recommended nutrients, going to work to buy nonsense colours, wasting each day to applie that nonsense colours on your face, and style your hair everyday, buy nonsense jewelries...

But beside our personal oppinions: Why do you think that professional male body models disagree with you, and say that they have it much better then female body models and less work? Do you think you have a more perfect body then a male body model, and so have more experiences then them about that topic?

First you are comparing models with models, I am comparing regular people with regular people. Regular women don't have to do what female models do.


90% of guys at the gym take nasty stuff like steroids, testosterone shots, growth hormones, muscle drinks, abnormal protein intakes, fat burners ....hoping to get the perfect body and six packs.
None of this is a fun sport.

Females don't take any of those nasty stuff in order to get the perfect body (by perfect body here I mean a body that makes most males drool, not the fashion body), hence why I've chosen a female trainer after trying all male trainers: Male trainers recommend such nasty stuff (in "pro" quantities) while female trainers talk about real food and real exercise, also started thai boxing.

Also lifting 60-70 kgs is way harder than lifting 10Kg despite the strength difference, the male body isn't 7 times stronger than female human body, we are not gorillas to have such difference in strength between the sexes.

This simply shows you the real amount of pressure that each gender faces.

The thing is, the media doesn't talk about the males' struggle in the attraction development, hence why you have no idea what a lot of males go through.

Reading about the effort people put into their face/bodies etc I wonder if I can ask why you think they are doing this?

If men are going to the gym and putting bad things in their bodies because they want the "perfect male body" then is that because they are aiming to attract women or is it because the media representation of "perfect body" has them deluded?

Women do the same but also pay a lot of attention to their hair and face.

Men generally lose their hair so can shave it all off, and I don't know many men who worry about their skin like women do.

But my original question still stands. Are people doing these things to attract the opposite sex (or maybe same sex in some case), or are they doing it for other reasons. Do people just want to please themselves with the way they look or is it because they want to attract others? And if so, do women do it more? And if they do is it because of an instinctive trait in human females?

Both I guess.

And I think it's mostly due the reactions of women (toward celebs with perfect bodies) they witness.




What I am sure of that men do it mostly to do increase their attractiveness in the eyes of the opposite sex (except the competition bodybuilders), women claim they don't.

That depends. Because I've noticed that by location men do have varying degrees of what effort they put to seem more attractive. In city areas most young men work out very often, which let's be honest is more effort than makeup, and they also dress trendy. Others skip the working out part and stick to the relying on style alone, which is on equal or slightly below the woman in your scenario. And then the minority that truly don't care and don't do either. By these steps and drawing an average I'd say men put on average as much effort as women in simply looking good. In other fields its different results

^ Yeah I'd agree, which is why I said "in terms of getting ready before you walk out the door".

Though, perhaps the equivalent of working out (for men) is dieting (for women)? Women would spend a lot of time watching what they eat to get the figure they want. In a way that is also time spent.

Which one of these bodies do you think has the most work behind them?





The former takes years of dedication, heavy lifting and strict dieting to achieve--and only mesomorphic men can achieve it without steroids. The latter can be achieved simply by dieting for a few weeks and not gaining the fat back again, if you have enough estrogen to look that pretty.

You have to factor in age differences with those pics, too. You're comparing an eighteen year old to a forty year old there from the looks of it.

Well, in the case of me, I don't attract men with my looks. Well, actually, I don't like much judgments regarding my looks. I attract men by being honest, flattering (and being flattered), and being the actual sweetheart I am. And although I do have some preferences on the appearance of men (some features that remind me of my brother), I am not very picky. I am a bit more picky about personality and motives of wanting to "steal my heart".

In regards to those two pictures on the previous page, Robdemanc wants to know why they look that way, why did they put in the effort - mostly to attract the opposite sex or mostly for other reasons?

I think it's an interesting question and my opinion keeps changing the more I think about it. My current stance is that the reason is generally not clear for many people: they put in the effort to look good, and with that comes things like attracting the opposite sex, getting a job, feeling confident, having people listen to them, etc etc etc.

Whatever it is for, I think men spend more time on the long-term stuff (e.g. gym, dieting), while women spend more time on the immediate, "getting ready for a date" stuff (e.g. clothes, makeup).

Women do more "peacocking", which is an instinctual thing in nature (usually for the males), but in humans with highly developed frontal lobes, the line between instinct and learned/deliberate behaviour gets blurred.

That's the body you MEN drool over, not most women. You don't need a six-pack to attract most women.
I believe most women prefer a lean body with lean muscles, one that can be achieved simply by working out without steroids or muscle enhancer and eating healthily. If you have the normal level of testosterone it shouldn't be that hard.

But I think it's fine if that's how you want to look like and you will attract a certain kind of women for sure.

Your average woman puts in more effort than your average man.

Your top-league men and women put in probably the same amount of effort, I'd wager.