Women SAY they want nice guys ...

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MadeUnderground
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03 Feb 2014, 9:17 pm

Alvorek wrote:

Bad boys are sprinters because they may be more exciting and cool then nice guys and might be more fun but it's not that way for long. Bad boys don't make good long term partners. Thats why they're sprinters.

Nice guys are distance runners because they may not be as fun and exciting as bad boys but they make excellent long-term relationship partners. Thats why they're distance runners.

So tell me ladies, do you prefer sprinters or distance runners?

What about those who sprint for one lap then jog for the next lap? You know, the ones that run/jog in intervals?

Meaning, they're interesting, exciting AND make good long term partners because they can run longer than sprinters and just as long as long distance runners because when they get tired they just slow down to their speed. :lol:

Misslizard
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03 Feb 2014, 9:38 pm

To me nice is the opposite of being mean.
I don't get the put down about being a "nice guy."

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TheGoggles
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03 Feb 2014, 10:40 pm

Misslizard wrote:

To me nice is the opposite of being mean.
I don't get the put down about being a "nice guy."

Nice Guys think that not being abusive means that women should flock to them. But they're not interesting, can't provide, and have nothing else to contribute to a relationship.

At best, they're desperate and ignorant. At worst, they're only pretending to be nice.

Fnord
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03 Feb 2014, 10:54 pm

Misslizard wrote:

To me nice is the opposite of being mean. I don't get the put down about being a "nice guy."

The put-down comes from the general perception that the only thing "nice" about Nice Guys is their behavior.

I suppose that a similar put-down used by men against women is to say that "She has a great personality" -- that is, she is generally cheerful and well-mannered, but she may be physically unattractive, intellectually unappealing, or just plain boring to be with.

"He's a nice guy" and "She has a great personality" are the kinds of left-handed compliments to give about someone when you can't think of any other compliments for them.

sly279
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03 Feb 2014, 11:11 pm

Fnord wrote:

Shau wrote:

Fnord wrote:

A man who takes an active role in his own personal life is worth getting to know more than a man whose life revolves around the telly, comic books, video games and fast food.

And what, exactly, is wrong with these three topics?

Nothing, specifically ... I suppose that I should have been more clear. I should have said, "A man who takes an active role in his own personal life is worth getting to know more than a man whose life passively revolves around only the telly, comic books, video games and fast food." That is, if a Nice Guy™ takes interest only in watching the telly, reading comic books, playing video games and eating fast food, then he is not likely to be very interesting (if at all) to a woman who leads a more physically and socially active lifestyle. He is also not likely to have a job, either.

Those who have become successful in any commercial field -- including the television, comic book, video game and fast food industries -- will certainly be more interesting than the aforementioned house lout.

so you don't like people into video games, comic or tv, that doesn't mean that others won't there's a lot of women into those things too.
also have you seen the cost of video games and their hardware, most people who play them have jobs, heck I've meet a lot who are a family of gamers

i find games relaxing and play them time to time, and like my friends and family and most people i've met i like watching tv shows, if it wasn't a major thing there wouldn't be shows lol

those are some of my interest, along with airsoft, firearms, cars, and history, things that may seem dull to others but super interesting to me .

also what about women who always complain about a**holes and ask where the "nice guys" are, so it seems its both sexes that do this.

personaly i get rejected for work/house/ looks never had a woman say no to me being too nice, but i've had friends tell me i'm being to nice to a girl.

sly279
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03 Feb 2014, 11:18 pm

TheGoggles wrote:

Misslizard wrote:

To me nice is the opposite of being mean.
I don't get the put down about being a "nice guy."

why is it assumed the "nice guys" aren't interesting?

can't provide, i thought we in the age where women want equal rights and want to provide for themselves? so why does a guy being able to provide for them a deal breaker, unless they just want to be a home maker. ive meet some of those. not really the woman i want, i want a equal partner to share my life with

commitment, love, kindness, compassion, loyalty, someone to lean on and get help from. theres things they can contribute

seems a decent amount of people confuse nice guy with non adventurous and i don't get whats wrong with that, so i don't like sky diving or mountain climbing meh i hope not every woman is into those things.

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04 Feb 2014, 12:11 am

Aaendi wrote:

Soccer22 wrote:

aspiesandra27 wrote:

"Nice" has to be one of the most boring words we have.

I think no one wants an evil person. A dishonest person. But certain males here insist on thinking in black and white. That men are either nice or bad. Then often the ones that are rejected the most, like to attack, and say women are stupid and they say they want nice guys, but they don't really. That what they really want is bad guys. Because "so so" is a good man, and keeps being rejected.

I love how simplistic some of these views are.

No one is perfect. But there's always someone more suited for each one of us.

To add onto this. The "nice" guy that was rejected automatically assumes that the girl rejected him because he's nice. I've never rejected a guy because he was nice. Maybe guys need to really do some introspecting on this topic. Maybe they were needy, not showing they were trustworthy, maybe they weren't funny enough, or maybe, simply, the girl just wasn't attracted. There's so many reasons for rejection and it 99.9% of the time isn't happening due to someone being nice.

Honestly, I never thought that being nice was a turn off for women until the internet got loaded with all this "nice guy" garbage.

Ty, just what I was thinking.
Men simply chose women better than women chose men.
Silly little girls go chasing after trash in tattoos and piercings, and then they come back hurt crying on your shoulder and you're a a**hole for not wanting to hear it.

No wonder the nice guy who gets friend zoned gets pissed when he knows what he wants and that's her, but she's not in to him because she wants to go chase scum and cool looking dudes wearing t-shirts of owls with mustaches... . . .. . .. .
And when horny tattoo guy is done pounding this lil gal she's suddenly used and exploited and hurt and bla bla bla.

You know what most guys do when we get rejected and treated badly? We get the f**k up again and whine to no one trying again to make some stupid girl recognize true character and value.

I have no sympathy for girls who f**k them selves like that over and over and over...
This "nice" label is very dumb.

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TheGoggles
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04 Feb 2014, 12:59 am

sly279 wrote:

TheGoggles wrote:

Misslizard wrote:

To me nice is the opposite of being mean.
I don't get the put down about being a "nice guy."

Because going out of your way to sell yourself as "The Nice Guy" is like writing "I know how to color inside the lines and I can count to ten without using my fingers!" on a job application.

Not being a manipulative psycho is just kind of assumed. If this person doesn't have any other qualities worth mentioning, they probably aren't very interesting.

Aaendi
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04 Feb 2014, 1:10 am

Fnord wrote:

Aaendi wrote:

Soccer22 wrote:

aspiesandra27 wrote:

"Nice" has to be one of the most boring words we have. I think no one wants an evil person. A dishonest person. But certain males here insist on thinking in black and white. That men are either nice or bad. Then often the ones that are rejected the most, like to attack, and say women are stupid and they say they want nice guys, but they don't really. That what they really want is bad guys. Because "so so" is a good man, and keeps being rejected. I love how simplistic some of these views are. No one is perfect. But there's always someone more suited for each one of us.

Honestly, I never thought that being nice was a turn off for women until the internet got loaded with all this "nice guy" garbage.

That "Nice Guy Garbage" was most likely posted by guys who thought that all they need to do to get laid is to be a Nice Guy™ and the women would fall into bed with them.

What are turn-offs for women could fill encyclopedias, but here are a few general ideas that are drawn from personal experience (your results may vary):

Poor Hygiene / B.O. / Halitosis -- Women's sense of smell seems to be more acute than men's. If you took out the garbage this morning, the stink may still linger on you, even though you've washed your hands. Those who don't brush and floss are almost certain to turn women away. Daily bathing with soap is a must. But don't go overboard with the deodorant and cologne, either; even the most pleasant of aromas can seem like tear gas to a woman's olfactory sense.
Unwashed, unmended, or out-of-date clothing -- If you're the "blue-jeans-and-tee-shirt" type, then make sure that what you wear is clean, unfrayed, and free from holes and rips. Sweat stains are as unattractive as "plumbers' crack", so not only toss out those cleaning rags you call shirts, but pull up your trousers and keep them up (wear a belt).
Lack of Confidence -- A man who is clingy or who seeks a woman's approval will not impress a woman as being a mature adult. Not many women seem to want a child in a man's body, so it is best to "man up" and act like you know how to take care of yourself and make decisions on your own. A man who is desperate for female attention will come across as needy and immature.
Rude or Aggressive Behavior -- Lack of civility and manners is one thing; but being openly rude and insulting (even to third parties, like waitresses and valets) is a turn-off. Even a single F-bomb can ruin a date. Violent imagery (tattoos, t-shirts, and belt buckles that depict violent acts) may help you feel 'macho' among your gamer friends, but they may make your date wonder if you would ever be violent toward her. From there, it's only one, small step for her to decide to not risk her safety with you.
Crude or Coarse Behavior -- Women generally do not like swearing, belching, farting, nose-picking or butt-scratching. In fact, if you have to scratch yourself, either do it discretely or excuse yourself and do it privately. Those dirty jokes that make your friends laugh will likely make her wonder how soon she can pull a disappearing act on you -- if your hear the word 'headache' soon after the punch line, then you know you've blown it (the date, not the joke). Save the smutty humor for the locker room.
Lack of Interesting Interests -- Do you volunteer at the pet shelter, or do you collect animal plushies? Do you play an instrument, or just an "air guitar"? Have you run in a marathon, or do you just run your mouth? Can you prepare a four-course meal from scratch, or do you have fast-food deliveries on speed-dial? A man who takes an active role in his own personal life is worth getting to know more than a man whose life revolves around the telly, comic books, video games and fast food.
Inappropriate Attention & Focus -- If you've ever heard the words "My eyes are up here", then maybe you need to work on your social skills. When not making eye contact, look at what you are doing (driving, eating, playing guitar, et cetera) or keep you gaze at her eye level and look at a spot near her head. Don't stare! Remember to blink. Practice facial expressions in front of a mirror. Smile. Listen to what she is saying! Learn to paraphrase what she says and repeat it back to her. Identify her emotions ("You seem to feel ______ about this; am I right?"). Do not try to solve her problems; do not try to judge her, her family, or her friends; do not tell her that she has it all wrong; most women (it seems) are more interested in being heard than in being talked to.

This should do for starters ... I'm sure that the women in this thread have much more to add.

Sorry but the whole thing about confidence is total BS. I've been acting confident around women since I was in High School, and I have gone absolutely nowhere. It doesn't work, plain and simply.

ezbzbfcg2
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04 Feb 2014, 1:21 am

TheGoggles wrote:

So if a guy is very interesting, very resourceful, and neither desperate nor ignorant, then most women are willing to look past or at least tolerate his a**hole behavior? I guess he doesn't even have to pretend to be nice, why bother, women are just happy to have all that other stuff.

Hmm. You know, I can't totally blame (some of) these nice guys who are shocked and appalled by the behavior of (some) women.

Halfmadgenius
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04 Feb 2014, 1:29 am

I want a man who is kind, compassionate, patient, and respectful. But he also has to be decisive and able to stand up for himself and take charge when need be. I want a nice guy, not a doormat.

SoulcakeDuck
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04 Feb 2014, 1:56 am

Halfmadgenius wrote:

I want a man who is kind, compassionate, patient, and respectful. But he also has to be decisive and able to stand up for himself and take charge when need be. I want a nice guy, not a doormat.

Is this sarcasm? I really don't know...

I also want things. But my Christmas list would be frowned upon.

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04 Feb 2014, 2:09 am

Alvorek wrote:

If dating were a track event, bad boys would be the sprinters and nice guys would be the distance runners.

Nice guys would be the racewalkers. They're slower than runners so you could say they finish last.

Halfmadgenius
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04 Feb 2014, 2:22 am

SoulcakeDuck wrote:

Halfmadgenius wrote:

I want a man who is kind, compassionate, patient, and respectful. But he also has to be decisive and able to stand up for himself and take charge when need be. I want a nice guy, not a doormat.

Is this sarcasm? I really don't know...

I also want things. But my Christmas list would be frowned upon.

No. I really do want a man who is kind and patient with me but can take charge when I really am unsure and indecisive.

Halfmadgenius
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04 Feb 2014, 2:35 am

And why would you think I am being sarcastic?

SoulcakeDuck
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04 Feb 2014, 3:36 am

Halfmadgenius wrote:

SoulcakeDuck wrote:

Halfmadgenius wrote:

I want a man who is kind, compassionate, patient, and respectful. But he also has to be decisive and able to stand up for himself and take charge when need be. I want a nice guy, not a doormat.

Is this sarcasm? I really don't know...

I also want things. But my Christmas list would be frowned upon.

No. I really do want a man who is kind and patient with me but can take charge when I really am unsure and indecisive.

Because it's contradicting and it sounds like you need a dog.

So every time things get hard for you he will stop everything and embrace you, protect you and care for you, and he will never ever push you towards things you don't like or are alien to you, even tho they are not harmful you just don't like them for a reason. He's going to accept that,and then he's going to alter his plans for you.
But then his strong, confident leader persona kicks in and he wants to guide you show you new things, he's also getting bored and impatient now but you're still not ready and he understands that so he goes and sits in a corner and waits for you because he is patient, filled with empathy but also take charge.... when need be. When you feel charge should be taken?
So he's a soft marshmallow that you sometimes equip with an iron whip. What if he pick up the whip himself one day and starts moving forward a little to fast? Will you command him to halt,go with him, convince him to re-schedule these big steps he had planned.

As I said, I also want things. But human behavior and emotion is not that structured as we Aspies like to structure our environment and lives.

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