To the sex-differences deniers on WP.

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Walking around naked isn't comparable because that's about indecent exposure regardless of sex,, while shaved heads and skirts are about gender expectations.

Calling nakedness as indecent exposure kinda proves my point.



All these cases are social expectations.

Calling nakedness as indecent exposure kinda proves my point.



All these cases are social expectations.

I just do my own thing and don't think about whether I'm a woman or a man, and that works just fine for me. If I get treated "like a female" in the dating world, rather than "like a person", that's a turn-off.

What I mean when I say I don't distinguish between the sexes with advice, is that I think gender roles are predominantly silly, and worth fighting against in many cases. For example, if a man complains that "oh but a woman could get away with X, it's only men who can't". I'll say "well she shouldn't get away with it either...don't let her".

The longer people just lazily accept that (what I consider) unfair and unequal gender roles exist, the longer they will exist. They get reinforced by those who say "well that's just the way it is, society has developed this way so we just have to suck it up". Or by those who say "it's just not fair" without suggesting an alternative.

Sure, I'm apparently some weird unique unicorn freak who sees things differently to most, but it's the ones who see it differently who (probably subconsciously) fight against the norms and "rules". If you are happily in the norm, you should be happy with the way things are, be happy with gender roles, and not complain that "women have it easier" or "men can't do X" or whatever. If you see things differently to the norm, if you see the sex(es) you are attracted to as "people" rather than "men" and/or "women", practice what you believe in the real world. You might find that you more easily meet others who feel the same way. If you play the main game, you only play with other players of that game. Are they the ones you want to be playing with?

Am I being vague and philosophical enough yet?

I agree; however, it's generally harder for men to break out of their gender roles.

The female role has evolved quite a bit in the last hundred or so years; the male role, not so much. They're still expected to be protector/providers, despite those functions being largely obsolete in the West.

There are some users here **cough**yellow Retro others **cough** who believe there's little sex differences - and that most L&D advices can be applied to both women and men seamlessly.

I would call BS on that. It bugs me because this shows ignorance of the surrounding and a burying-head-in-sand attitude.

The more I read (ie. Norah Vincent's book which I read it), the more I observe, the more I experience stuff - the more I realize that women and men live in two entirely different worlds.

Just because most of these differences are socially construct and not biological by any mean, that doesn't make the differences any less significant, the socially constructed differences are real....very real, and no matter how rebellious you are, sometimes you have no choice but to abide by them.

Let's take for example a user asking for advice on online dating - the same advice about this for a man cannot be applied the same for a woman.

It makes no sense to give an advice to a man using okcupid such as: "oh just ignore the ones who send you one-word messages, and reply only to those who seem interesting" - a typical guy on okcupid rarely receives any initial messages to begin with!
On the other hand, it makes no sense at all to tell a woman using okcupid: "Oh, it's a number game, you need to message as much guys as possible in order to get dates" - a typical woman there would receive tons of message so there's no need to message tons of guys.

This is a fine example of a very strong SEX DIFFERENCE due to social constructivism- There's nothing biological that prevents girls to be the initiators on a dating site, there's nothing biological that prevent guys to be the 'waiting' ones - yet this difference persists and real. The sex ratio on dating sites is real too, yet there's nothing biological that prevent girls to use them more or for guys to use them less.

So see? The whole dynamics are different, no same advices can be given to employers and to job seekers. The expectations differ greatly, the dynamics differ greatly, the fears differ greatly, ...etc, most are due to society but they are very real nevertheless.

So how do you explain yourselves, deniers?

I think the main reason why men send messages is the gender ratio. If men could afford not to initiate, they wouldn't send as many messages. In the same way, if gender ratio was opposite, women would get less messages and would send more messages to men. It's all connected.

I noticed that on a local religious dating site there's a lot more women than men. I not only get more replies there, but also get approached from time to time. That didn't happen on any other site.

First, I need to look up deniers. And I always thought that men liked a good chase. Women are always told to play hard to get because you don't want to look like you're too easy - which is true. Men like a challenge and to feel like they have "won" a woman, otherwise, a man will get bored and lose interest. Women are also told that we need to be mysterious and not to tell everything about oneself.

Been there. I think you have a high chance of getting catfished that way, as it happened to me.

That's all NT-stuff. I don't want women to play hard to catch, and I definitely don't want to chase them and do all the work myself. Simply won't work.

Well, since NT's make up what? 95% of the population, then I guess you will have to wait for a really forward NT woman or an Aspie woman to make a move. It may take awhile because I'm having a hard time trying to get a guy to ask me out - either they're all playing hard to get or maybe I'm running into a lot of Aspie guys. Idk.

Neurodiverse people make up 10-15% of the population, so it is a perfectly valid choice to exclude 85-90% of NTs. It's a good selection criteria in order to get better success rates.

First, I need to look up deniers. And I always thought that men liked a good chase. Women are always told to play hard to get because you don't want to look like you're too easy - which is true. Men like a challenge and to feel like they have "won" a woman, otherwise, a man will get bored and lose interest. Women are also told that we need to be mysterious and not to tell everything about oneself.

Boo, you need to read "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus".

Neurodiverse people make up 10-15% of the population, so it is a perfectly valid choice to exclude 85-90% of NTs. It's a good selection criteria in order to get better success rates.

Well, since NT's make up what? 95% of the population, then I guess you will have to wait for a really forward NT woman or an Aspie woman to make a move. It may take awhile because I'm having a hard time trying to get a guy to ask me out - either they're all playing hard to get or maybe I'm running into a lot of Aspie guys. Idk.