Venting of a "friendzoned" AS dude

Page 3 of 6 [ 93 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 Next

Previous topic | Next topic

The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,671
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

31 Aug 2016, 3:45 pm

hurtloam wrote:

RetroGamer87 wrote:

hurtloam wrote:

I think i understand. I have a male acquaintance that I want to be more than friends with, but I'm trying to remain friends with him and it's just not working. It hurts too much and I still have feelings for him. I really don't think the friendship is going to work out.

I'm even thinking of moving to a different town so that I can stop bumping into him or his family when I'm out and about. I'd like to go to the supermarket without the anxiety of having to pretend I'm OK if I see them.

What happened? Did you tell him how you felt?

I invited him somewhere and got ghosted.

That's cruel, even toward a friend.

A while ago when my lady friend invited me to something, I delayed my response way more than usual (it wasn't intentional ghosting but she certainy perceived it as such) because I wasn't sure I can make it and didn't want to make any promise- then the day before the event she was like "Good evening, I don't know if you read my event invitation on fb, it's ok if you don't want to come, I invited you because I know you love such events so I thought we would have a good time."

:cry:

No way I can ghost that.

I eventually told her I will let her know If I can make it. I was able to make it at the end.

whatamievendoing
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 20 Aug 2016
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,336
Location: Finland

31 Aug 2016, 4:36 pm

As it turns out, now she unfriended me everywhere and essentially cut all contact and I didn't get as much as a reason or an apology.

Perfect.

_________________
“They laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at them because they're all the same.”
― Kurt Cobain

Aaendi
Deinonychus

Joined: 31 Aug 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 363

02 Sep 2016, 6:03 pm

This ALWAYS happens, the woman never actually wants to be "platonic friends".

hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,748
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

02 Sep 2016, 6:35 pm

Aaendi wrote:

This ALWAYS happens, the woman never actually wants to be "platonic friends".

When do guys ever want to be just Platonic friends?

I'm serious. I have one male Platonic Friend offline and he's about 15 years older than me.

Guys in real life don't ever seem to want to be just friends... And if I talk to them they think I fancy them and withdraw.

Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,278
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

02 Sep 2016, 7:40 pm

whatamievendoing wrote:

As it turns out, now she unfriended me everywhere and essentially cut all contact and I didn't get as much as a reason or an apology.

Perfect.

that does sound sh*tty but don't blame yourself...doesn't seem like you really did anything wrong.

_________________
Tis the time to melt the Ice.

Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,278
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

02 Sep 2016, 7:43 pm

hurtloam wrote:

Aaendi wrote:

This ALWAYS happens, the woman never actually wants to be "platonic friends".

I have friends who are guys most are quite a bit younger though, so figure they've seen me as too old for them...one I know has implicated some attraction to me but it would have never worked between us too much difference of lifestyle and I have a boyfriend now.

_________________
Tis the time to melt the Ice.

Boxman108
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 2 Jan 2012
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,832
Location: NH

02 Sep 2016, 8:10 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Hopper wrote:

There's no accounting for taste, nor for the psychologically damaged and substance-addicted.

There's a fair few couples like that round where I live, and they seem quite happy in their daytime drunk, co-dependent way. It really does take all sorts.

It's why I'm essentially an optimist when it comes to romantic prospects. I just assumed most WPers were looking for something a little less downward-spirally than that.

Quote:

So a good personality doesn't guarantee a relationship.

And a criminal/horrible personality doesn't guarantee non-relationship.

Personality goodness/badness isn't the root of the problem, really.

Then there's the Nice Guy Brigade, who'd swear a good personality is exactly what is keeping them from romantic success.

and then there's the White Knights brigade who think that attacking guys on forums and "defending" "ladies in distress" online would make women throw themselves on them.
I personally see few of them here, they are the male users who *always* criticize male users only and never ever criticized a post from a female.

I wonder why.

Nice to see you're still here and most white knights aren't...though maybe that says worse about us lol. Think I haven't really been here for a few years.

On topic, well, hmm...I guess I've learned the friend zone isn't always the absolute worst, though sometimes it's not much different when you feel just as alone in their presence. Have had a couple people just drop me out of their lives with little to no explanation, no remorse or recognition that I also happen to be human and have emotion and prone to mistakes. Sometimes it's hard to tell if I'm the one with the problem or if they are. Nothing is ever totally black and white.

_________________
About suffering they were never wrong,
The Old Masters: how well they understood
Its human position; how it takes place
While someone else is eating or opening a window or
just walking dully along...

Aaendi
Deinonychus

Joined: 31 Aug 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 363

02 Sep 2016, 11:38 pm

hurtloam wrote:

Aaendi wrote:

This ALWAYS happens, the woman never actually wants to be "platonic friends".

I guess a lot of guys don't believe any women want to be friends with them, so they don't bother. In the past I've gotten friendzoned before, and I tried really hard to be platonic friends, but everytime the "friendship" the girl promised me turned out to be bogus.

Outrider
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 15 Feb 2014
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,007
Location: Australia

03 Sep 2016, 12:46 am

Aendi is correct.

Also, in my personal experiences, a young man 18-30 who is single is more likely to develop feelings and/or have a hidden (or known) physical attraction to a female friend around the same age than vice versa. A woman falling for her male friend however is not impossible.

I wish i could be friends with girls my age but this feels like an unlikely dream as eventually I just develop an attraction and once again fall into unrequited love as none of them in the history of ever have developed a mutual attraction to me and likely never will.

Aaendi
Deinonychus

Joined: 31 Aug 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 363

03 Sep 2016, 2:05 pm

You know what's the worst thing about being friendzoned?

It's when women assume all men who they put into their friendzoned, are mysogynist a**holes who think they're entitled to sex.

Last edited by Aaendi on 03 Sep 2016, 4:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Hopper
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 22 Aug 2012
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,920
Location: The outskirts

03 Sep 2016, 3:42 pm

Aaendi wrote:

You know what's the worst thing about being friendzoned?

It's that women assume all men who they put into their friendzoned, are mysogynist a**holes who think they're entitled to sex.

No, the worst thing about being 'friendzoned' is it's a thing that doesn't exist. Something like that can really mess with your mind. How can a thing that doesn't exist happen to you? It's sanity-blasting stuff!

_________________
Of course, it's probably quite a bit more complicated than that.

You know sometimes, between the dames and the horses, I don't even know why I put my hat on.

Boxman108
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 2 Jan 2012
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,832
Location: NH

03 Sep 2016, 4:08 pm

Sure, it doesn't exist as long as you're a cuck.

Hopper
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 22 Aug 2012
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,920
Location: The outskirts

03 Sep 2016, 4:38 pm

Boxman108 wrote:

Sure, it doesn't exist as long as you're a cuck.

Well, that's a cry for help if ever I heard one.

What's the matter?

_________________
Of course, it's probably quite a bit more complicated than that.

You know sometimes, between the dames and the horses, I don't even know why I put my hat on.

friedmacguffins
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 10 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,539

03 Sep 2016, 4:42 pm

Boxman108 wrote:

Sure, it doesn't exist as long as you're a cuck.

They like to set boundaries, somewhat casually.

I have a date in mind, to become a just-plain chauvinist. Not livid. Not sadistic. Just plain.

Hopper wrote:

Well, that's a cry for help if ever I heard one.

Hopper
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 22 Aug 2012
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,920
Location: The outskirts

03 Sep 2016, 5:27 pm

friedmacguffins wrote:

Boxman108 wrote:

Sure, it doesn't exist as long as you're a cuck.

They like to set boundaries, somewhat casually.

I have a date in mind, to become a just-plain chauvinist. Not livid. Not sadistic. Just plain.

Hopper wrote:

Well, that's a cry for help if ever I heard one.

Oh, come on. Anyone who uses the epithet 'cuck' is clearly not a happy bunny.

Quote:

Of all possible slurs, cuck is pretty much unique in that the only person it ever really diminishes is the person saying it. The people most fond of it are young, pyogenic, leeringly antifeminist men who spend far too much time online, and for whom cuckoldry is an object of terror and fascination in equal measure, despite the fact that – let’s be frank – they don’t tend to f**k very much; men who are deeply anxious that someone else might have sex with the wives that they don’t have.

_________________
Of course, it's probably quite a bit more complicated than that.

You know sometimes, between the dames and the horses, I don't even know why I put my hat on.

wilburforce
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 13 Sep 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,940

03 Sep 2016, 5:36 pm

Boxman108 wrote:

Sure, it doesn't exist as long as you're a cuck.

There are men who aren't "cucks" who are capable of and willing to have rewarding platonic friendships with women; you may also know them as "adults".

_________________
"Ego non immanis, sed mea immanis telum." ~ Ares, God of War

(Note to Moderators: my warning number is wrong on my profile but apparently can't be fixed so I will note here that it is actually 2, not 3--the warning issued to me on Aug 20 2016 was a mistake but I've been told it can't be removed.)

Page 3 of 6 [ 93 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 Next

Jump to:

Venting of a "friendzoned" AS dude Post Reply New Topic

Venting of a "friendzoned" AS dude