We're not good enough

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That’s what it means.

FunkyPunky: you’re not alone nor the first to make this observation.

I think you’re right.

But at the same time, how does one know for sure there is absolutely NO WAY he can make it with a girl?

It’s far easier for someone with a disability to blame culture or society rather than own the traits that turn people off. I don’t know how I’ll ever have many friends. But when I have to interact with others who may not care for my presence, I don’t pretend to be one of them. I will tell people right away that I know my walking gait is odd, my voice is weird, that I smell funny, etc. and they can’t hit me with any insults or mockery I’ve never heard before.

With young people, this is disarming. It communicates, “hey, I’m awkward and vulnerable...a little like you’re feeling right now. So now the obvious is out of the way, can we move forward?”

Same thing works with any relationship.

The problem I see with some people on WP is not so much that others can’t accept them for who they are. It’s that they don’t really accept others first. If the only girls available are the 4-wheeler mud-ridin, deer huntin, beer drinkin, football watchin, church goin types, you might want to acquire the taste. If nothing else, just get them to talk about it. It’s more important for the sake of the relationship to BE INTERESTED than it is to be knowledgeable or experienced in what that person is into.

For example, you may not own a 4-wheeler, much less ever gone “muddin.” But she might. Get her to take you along and maybe even show you what to do. You’ll enjoy it not because you like the activity, but because you like HER. And because you make her feel important and she enjoys you being around while doing things that matter to her, she’s going to want to be around you and ultimately become interested in what YOU do.

That’s reciprocity. People are selfish and seek sexual fulfillment. They get that ersatz through the interest people show in them. When that happens, they seek others out to get it again, and they will do whatever they must to get it.

This means, of course, that you have to actually love people. And from what I see, there’s not enough genuine affection for others. Why SHOULD anyone care for those of us who can’t or won’t care for them?

I’m afraid that’s the biggest impairment.

Beyond that...

Absolutely there might very well be those who no matter how much they care about others finding a mate just isn’t going to happen. But saying “you creep people out” isn’t really helpful. I think you reach a point when you decide whether becoming the type of person someone wants or overcoming a disability or moving closer to someone or whatever is truly worth the effort and risk. You either change your circumstances or just blame everyone else for not elevating you to datable status. Maybe it makes you feel better to just blame everyone else and do nothing. I dunno. I feel sorry for people in that situation, but honestly, what is there to be done about it? NOT a rhetorical question. If you can’t make that leap from undateable to dateable, then it’s best to decide to live your life for YOU, enjoy what you do and the other things in life that bring you joy, live to the fullest, and not worry about relationships that, honestly, would drag you down. Let it go and be happy.

That’s really all that can be said about it.

How’d you meet Her? Do you are a good job?

Being a mod here probably pays well.

I assume he has a job outside of wrongplanet.

The forum is presumably not a profit-making venture. From where would his stipend come?

I'm a 30 year old British female androgynous Schizo-aspie person who is covered from head to toe in self-inflicted scars and can't go through a single day without an epic meltdown (in other words, a total f**k up)... plus, you're probably looking for a sexual partner and I'm celibate and asexual with sex phobia. Not exactly the girl of anyone's dreams (possibly nightmares, though.) Still, I do like your wit.

I've been accused of those things especially on this forum & another one I went to. Just because I get accused of things does NOT make em true. For example I've been accused of only wanting women for sex & I'm sort of on the asexuality spectrum(possibly demisexual). I've also been accused of being a misogynist when in reality I'm a male feminist(not hardcore or anything thou)

I think half the key to this is being good enough to laugh at ourselves a bit. The 'friendzone' is a lot smaller when we can accept the humour in our own screwups.

The friendzone is sometimes not a free choice on the part of the friendzoner.

I can’t tell, lives at stake.

I can smell your fedora from all the way over here /sarcasm/

Both. Scars wouldn’t turn me off I’d just want to hug more.
The sexual part would bee the only issue besides distance. I. Hyper-sexual
Sex is half part of a relationship for me sadly
I’m sure you’re the girl of someone’s dream, there must be emotional asexuals in uk.
I don’t think any women are damage or nightmare. Well except the mean cruel ones I guess.

Mods don't make any money on WrongPlanet.

I think Kip is a "poor college student."

Part of me thinks Kip is the only Toyota dealer on a lost continent with its' own language.

I tend to agree on this, often it's best to be patient until the social pressures subside before moving up from such zones.

^ LMAO well it's an archipelago actually, but that's me in a shellnut.

i've been a mod here for over three years and haven't got a cent out of it, i don't think alex can afford to set up and manage a payroll especially considering how unpredictable our schedules are, and it would be difficult to determine how exactly we would be paid. the site just isn't big enough. it's not a huge part of my life, so it's not like i take a big hit from doing something like this without pay.

i met my GF in high school, she was a freshman, i was a senior. two year age difference. i remember some of the first interactions i ever had with her included her telling me i looked like a character from Off (video game) and me putting a kneaded eraser on her head and telling her she was "perfect". don't know what possessed me to do that. i invited her to the prom with a dorky drawing i made and the rest is, as they say, history. i currently work part time (soon to be full time, temporarily) at a tortilla warehouse making $14 an hour. not complaining.

thank you for asking.

@Kraftie, i am a college student, but am doing rather well financially, i live with my parents so my only real expenses are car related.



agree 500%. i think a lot less people would end up in the 'friendzone' if they were up front with their intentions from the start. often, being there isn't a permanent sentence, it's not unheard of to leave the friendzone. lots of people change what they see in a partner as they get older, it makes sense that you'd consider pursuing a romantic relationship with someone you already have gotten to know.