Lying to get a girlfriend

Post Reply New Topic

Like I said, most of the deception involves appearances.  The cosmetics and fashion industries have brainwashed a lot of women into believing that they are worthless if they look like they are not 19-year old swimsuit models with perfect hair, glowing skin, and airbrushed bodies that look like they walked out of a manga artist's wet-dream.  So it is not surprising then that some women will want to enhance their appearances by artificial means just to get a boyfriend.

They don’t really do it to get a boyfriend, I think.

My point still stands. 30 years old, 40 years old...doesn't matter. That's the kind of thing you just don't disclose. I would think after a certain age it would be ASSUMED you're not a virgin. Those kinds of things don't go on the need-to-know list.

You don’t have to tell any prospective partner whether or not you’re a virgin.

Oh, I slept with a redhead once who was a bit like that. Petite with slightly bigger bones, not exactly overweight, just heavier set. Cute af, though. Wore these MASSIVELY padded bras. First time I saw her naked she actually apologized for being flat-chested. I mean flat-as-a-board flat, too. She'd go out of her way to have the perfect makeup, perfect hair, nice clothes. Underneath all that was a rather plain girl. It's weird, because it was like the girl I met came across as WAY out of my league. As it happens, I"m more attracted to girls like she REALLY was. Had a lovely if brief time with her.

I ended up having to keep my distance, though, because she was just a touch too neurotic for my taste.

I can handle that kind of deception. If it makes her feel good to doll up, I don't care. Things I kinda need to know: diseases, age ("old enough" is acceptable, I'm not dating a girl), marital status, and whether she has a Y chromosome/"a little surgery". I actually find larger mammary glands to be unattractive, so silicone babes are just going to be a waste of their own time with me.

I'm kinda glad dating will never be an issue I'm faced with ever again. I have a great marriage, and I'm about to have 4 children to keep me busy.

Exactly. My original point was that SOME things don't have to be discussed. If you have Asperger's and you're high-enough functioning you can actually GET a date, it just doesn't even have to become an issue.

If you go out a few times, you trust each other well enough, you can say some things like: Oh yeah, the club is fun, but I'm just a little overly sensitive to loud sounds. Every couple of weeks is ok, but how about this weekend we go ___?

Or: Yeah, I just get out of sorts sometimes and need my alone time. So if one day I don't respond to your texts right away, it was probably just an unusually rough day for me. If that happens, just let me destress and I'll get back to you.

And then after 8-12 weeks you can be like: Yeah, well...you know I have some issues, so I might as well tell you what's going on. I have ____. So if things seem a little weird with me, that's why. It's really not that big a deal, I just don't want anything to catch you by surprise.

There are ways to do full-disclosure. All I'm saying is it's not a good idea to try to date someone only to turn around and give them every reason to NOT be with you.

As for a woman's appearance and being deceptive: The thing to remember about anyone's appearance is that weight and lifestyle are connected to how a person sees himself or herself. An anorexic person can be just as unattractive as someone who is morbidly obese. Those kinds of things MIGHT be an expression of personality or character and thus a warning sign that this person might not really be the kind of person you want to be with. This certainly doesn't apply to ALL situations, but anyone who is of a healthy weight and stays that way is likely more health-conscious and well-adjusted. The more a person can let herself go, the more likely it could be that there are other issues at play. My cute redhead fling was, to me anyway, quite attractive when she wasn't compensating. The fact she felt the NEED to overdo things with her appearance was a red flag. I have dated girls who really were morbidly obese, and I have noticed a pattern with them versus more self-aware, healthy women. Physically it doesn't bother me much. I don't really care that much about appearance. It's the behavior and self-esteem issues that turned me off the most.

A lot of guys here would be perfectly OK with attracting "ugly, homely looking girls".

You at least had a girlfriend. Now you're left with just what's at the end of your arm.

BTW this isn't just aimed at the OP. Anyone who says they are desperate for female companionship should ask themselves which females really qualify. If not sure, then maybe they should reconsider just how "desperate" they really are.

You can try it! It is good to experiment. It's best to use a gray area, where you make it sound good, but it is also technically true. You can't trick your way out of autism though. Just don't put yourself down.

Easy fix.
Get the guy to break his hymen.
Problem solved.

Turn around then; I brought my hammer and chisel.

Honestly has only ever hurt me. I need to learn to be closed up and lie.
From my personal experiences women don’t actually want an emotional man, so an emotional man has to learn to lie and hid his emotions.
They all tell me to share my emotions and feelig but when I do they say I lack confidence and reject me.
When who you are is wrong then you have no choice but to pretend to be someone different and that means lying to a point.

In my experience they always ask. So then what do you lie ? If so it will surely become apparent when they start doing sexual stuff and yiur lack of experience shows.

It depends on whether or not you're looking for a one time hookup or a long-term relationship. If you're looking for a short-term fling or hookup, then you might be able to get away with lying a little bit since you're probably never going to see them much anyways.


But if you're looking for a relationship that's expected to last, you shouldn't lie about liking sports or lie about your job and your income. That will come back to bite you in the butt. For one thing, compatibility is important. And secondly, the truth will come out eventually, you can't fake that kind of stuff forever.

It might be good to alter your photos a little bit to make yourself look better, a lot of people do that and there's nothing wrong with it, but only to a certain point.


You should be aware that you probably don't want to alter your Tinder photos so much that you look completely different in real life. For instance, photoshopping yourself to be skinny when you're currently fat. Making yourself appear tall when you're really short, using old photos where you look skinnier and healthier, etc... Sure you may be able to get dates but once the woman see's what you actually look like, she will feel like she's been cat-fished and nothing will come out of it.

I was at a hostel in Europe several times. Each time, there was an alpha male guy who was exagerrating his career to the girls at the hostel. Because he was good looking, the exagerrations made them VERY excited to literally stand in a row to hook up with him. They literally said, 'Wow, a guy who is 6"4' AND works in finance!" He would say that 'if you need to borrow millions to build a complex, you go to him' in the bank where he works.. so he literally was a loan originator, like a guy you go to get a mortgage.. but he did not make it sound that way.. he got a lot of fun and sex and the girls were happy.. but he was NT.. so for an aspie, even if you lie the same way, you still won't be able to provide the girls with the same social and emotional fun and satisfaction, and the way you interact with the world, would be different too, which the girls would notice.

So this dude works in finance and made plenty of deposits