Do ladies like long beards (on men:))?

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I LOVE beards My late husband even grew one sometimes cause I liked it...

And I have some hirchism myself... I have to shave my face

Yeah, I'm not saying that the medium-long beard was my most broadly appealing look. My point was that it certainly didn't seem like enough of an obstacle to justify modifying my appearance in a way I didn't prefer to.

I agree that we should do what we can to make ourselves more attractive, but only insofar as we're also satisfied with the changes we've made. Losing weight was a change that has probably broadly increased my attractiveness from where it was, but it was also a change that I wanted to make for myself. I prefer the way I look and feel now to the way I looked and felt when I was 30kg+ heavier.

Trimming my beard down a fair bit might increase my broad appeal, but that would come at the expense of my own satisfaction with my appearance. It might be a trade that I'd be willing to make, if doing so meant a significant increase in female attention and romantic prospects, but this difference wasn't demonstrated in my years of wearing a shorter beard, and there's no reason to expect things to be any different if I trimmed my beard tomorrow.


So I gained about 28kg in less than 6 months in the first half of 2018, during a period of extreme anxiety and depression. After my weight had remained stable at around 115kg for some months, I started gaining a few more kilos. Once I got up to 120kg in the first half of 2019, and it seemed like I was going to continue gaining weight, I knew that I had two choices. Address it now, or put it off until it got even more out-of-hand.

I didn't want to waste my 20s being obese, and I certainly didn't want losing the weight to be any harder or take any longer than it was already going to, so I knew I had to figure out how to get it under control.

After a couple of failed weight loss attempts, I found the right strategy for me, and the rest is history. I'm now about 3kg less than I was before I gained all that weight.

This is all to say that I was only ever overweight to that extent in 2018 and 2019. 2018 was also the year I grew my beard long again, so there was minimal overlap between my being obese and having a short beard.

I'll put it this way. The only reason my beard isn't much, much longer is because it starts to get too whispy past a certain length. If my growth matures to where that's no longer the case, I'll be growing it longer.

I've wanted to have a long beard since I was like 5 years old.


If a woman I was interested in told me she would date me, but only if I trim my beard down to be a similar length as the picture Boo posted, I'd most probably do it. If trimming my beard down to that length was going to be the difference between me being able to get a girlfriend or not, I'd do it. Based on past experience though, I'm far from convinced that this would be the case.

I've only had my beard long for a cumulative few of years of my life, and I've struggled with getting a girlfriend for a much longer time. I don't think my beard could possibly be the main problem here, and given that my success rate with women is roughly the same whether my beard is short or long, I'm not sure I'd even say I think it's a contributing factor.


I've never said my odds are better with a long beard, but again, trimming my beard in a way I don't prefer would be a trade-off, and my experience suggests that it wouldn't pay off and I'd still be alone. I really enjoy and identify with having a long beard, so why would I modify a style I enjoy when it's probably not going to make any difference to my love life?

As for your poll, I think it's interesting asking these sorts of questions on WP and seeing what people answer, but I'm not taking this poll very seriously for a few different reasons.

Firstly, the women on here who answered that they don't like long beards might not find me attractive with a short beard or no beard either, in which case, what difference does their opinion on my facial hair make if they wouldn't be interested in me anyway? Not to mention that some of the women who answered this may be of a different age group, or people I'd also not be interested in.

Then there's the fact that the sample size is very small. So small, in fact, that 3 new votes that were cast since the post I'm responding to have completely changed the results of the poll from 1 in 9 women liking long beards, to 1 in 4 women liking long beards. That's more than a 100% increase in the percentage of women who like long beards, influenced by a mere 3 votes.

I like you Pepe, and I'm not trying to knock you or anything, but I'm not going to base my grooming decisions on a poll of 12 people. As long as I'm not convinced that changing my beard is going to make a drastic difference to my love life, I'm probably not going to change my beard.


Yeah, of course. Just because I have a long beard doesn't mean I don't make an effort to take care of my appearance. I guess I just don't feel like my beard limits my romantic prospects as much as you seem to.

To illustrate where I'm coming from, and why I'm not convinced it makes a big difference whether my beard is long or short, I'm going to list any time a woman from my local area has indicated any attraction towards me, or was at least attracted enough to me to consider going out with me.

Short Beard
☆ I was talking to a girl (happened in high school) online and we were going to meet up for a date, but she flaked.

☆ I was talking to another girl (also happened in high school) online and we were going to meet up for a date, but she also flaked.

Medium-Long Beard
☆ I met a woman online through a Facebook group, asked her out and went on a date (didn't lead to a second date because I was too overeager)

☆ A woman approached me in a nightclub wanting to dance (she even randomly petted my beard)

Long Beard
☆ I was talking to a woman online and we were looking at meeting up for a date, but she flaked

☆ My brother told me that a woman we both knew had told him that she finds me attractive. I didn't find her attractive at all, and I found her kinda annoying.

So you see, there's really no reason to believe that going back to the short beard would yield me any better results than I get with the medium-long or long beard. And before you suggest clean-shaving, I hate being clean-shaven, I have a horrible jawline and most people tell me I look better with a (short) beard anyway.

@ GI.
Well, if it makes you feel better, if I was a 20 year old chick in your physical league, *I* would date you, but you would have to trim your beard first.

I have no idea why you are having trouble.

Just keep on mixing.

"Never give up,
Never surrender."

Haha, thanks Pepe.

I'd imagine my dating problems are multifaceted, and I think the most pertinent cause is probably autism. Given the prevalence of men on the spectrum not being able to get a girlfriend, and given that asperger's/autism inhibits you socially and makes it so that you see the world differently to neurotypicals, it doesn't seem surprising that it would also make it more difficult for you to find a partner, especially when you as a man are expected to take the active role in establishing a relationship.

The fact that I don't have any avenues through which to meet women my own age these days is probably also a strike against me.

There are probably more factors influencing my lack of success with dating, but I'd imagine that these are the two that are most pervasive at the moment.