kitten_caboodle wrote:
Thanks for the info Pepe!
"Based on my early research, when you are in "Limerence", you are infatuated by someone you don't really know. You are obsessed with the *image* of who you *think* the person is."
This is how I see it. The people who feel limerence usually waste opportunities to understand the real person, because they are so busy imagining who the person is. They use the person as an ego boost to make it feel like their dreams are coming true, even if they aren't aware that's the motivation. For example if I decided someone was exactly what I needed for personal or creative inspiration and I kept seeing them in that way by deleting the bits of their personality that were less convenient, it wouldn't be fair to the other person. I wouldn't want someone discarding the unnecessary parts of who I am, or ignoring them all together in favour of the parts that they found inspiring.
The people who have had crushes / possible limerence for me in the past usually seem to entertain a different version of who am I, than who I really am. It's hard to cross that bridge and tell them to wake up and like the real me, because then they are disappointed I didn't match their dream and they move on to the next person to be their muse while I'm left feeling "not good enough" for something I never was in the first place. In fact they were the person who fell short emotionally, not me. They couldn't do the real thing. Real love is so much nicer, when two people see each other for who they really are and that's good enough even with the person's faults.
Has this happened often?
Were you aware of what was going on, at the time?