So what is sexual attraction?

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Blazingstar is a very eclectic lady.

Yes, of course I'm married----and I'm committed to my wife. I'm still allowed to talk about sexual attraction. It should not indicate that I intend to "sow my wild oats."

Long and vivid histories of wild untamed even wilder experiences And exploits .. lolz , just teasing here.

Good grief! I was only making a joke, because you keep talking in present tense about limerence, muses, or sexual attraction like they are ongoing for you - "I am only interested in sex with a woman I have respect for" -- but you said you've been married for years. Your comments sometimes sound like you are single and dating, but I know you are talking about your feelings in general. I was just being lighthearted because I recognized you from that other conversation.

I never said you aren't allowed to talk about attraction, or anything else.

This is bizarre.

I give up.

What is art? What is beauty? What is fun? What is sexuality? I have always struggled with what is sexuality - I have it to attractive women and also ideas about situations with women are sexual to me, but if I try to focus on what the sexuality is, I lose track of what it is as if it disappear under the pressure if you put your thumb on it.

Actually I didn't really think that about you. I was merely protecting myself, as a great many hetero females on this forum absolutely insist they could NEVER imagine having sex with a man unless they were deeply in love with him, and I would expect such a person to be highly offended by the suggestion they would ever have sex for its own sake.

Too bad you won't share details. I, being of a similar age as you, have tried sharing details — not to boast, but because looking back, I am amazed by how many different things I experienced, as a young man who may have been on the spectrum (please see the link in my sig) and I have hoped some of my experiences might be useful to people here. A prevailing theme though is that I know from experience that women WILL pursue sex for its own sake, and shouldn't be ashamed. In addition, it seems to me that women were in fact less likely to be ashamed of that in the 70s and early 80s, when I was still single, than they are today.

Whatever, I am quite confident that if you ever did decide to share, you would make my sex life as a single young man seem quite pitiful in comparison. Something else I learned.

I for one think that sex is very romantic. Aren't romance novels basically about sex? A woman marries an older wealthy man who then takes to his death bed. The step son, whom she's never before met, arrives to make arrangements for his father's imminent demise, and ends up in bed with her before the next sunrise. Isn't that a typical romance novel plot?

I'm sorry, Kitten.

I took you too seriously.

That's a problem of mine--getting defensive, perhaps knowing something is humorous, but wanting to "make sure," anyway. It makes me seem like a prig. It's a pain in the butt for some. But please give me another chance.

Please don't give up.

I'm known as the Wolfman here.

Charlie Brown used to say "Good Grief!" all the time. I was the kid who didn't get the Valentine, like Charlie Brown was.

I wish I was Pepe. He knows how to be humorous better than me.

Naughty naughty cat! Tsk tsk.

Nah....Kitten is a good egg....my mind is the one that's scrambled

put as simply as possible, it is when you get both a brain "itch" as well as a gonadal "itch" to want to have sex with somebody close to you or far from you but is foremost in your lecherous mind. ordinary attraction often has a sexual subtext. at least for men, they tend to be joined at the hip ["ordinary attraction" and sexual attraction]. i have seen people the physical side of me wanted to conjugate with but the mental and psychological and emotional side repelled me simultaneously and i steered clear of them but still had fantasies about them.

What is really scary to me is when someone who I know is bad news sparks a strong sexual response in me. It requires tremendous will power to stay away. It’s the kind of horror that in every horror movie where you are screaming, “DONT OPEN THE DOOR” and they open the door anyway.

I isolate too much to be affected by these things much anymore.

@maxe: sorry about the misunderstanding.

you expressed the feminine side of what i said

I prefer the journey, rather than the climactic trope.

Re: your spoiler. You are supposed to cuddle your partner, give him/her/them your full attention, and proclaim your undying love.

Surely you knew that!

Dinner first, for me.
I'd prefer prolonging anticipation of an intimate situation, myself.
I'm are a rather cerebral individual,