[25+ Age] L & D Forums for High-Functioning Adult AS?

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CockneyRebel
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24 Dec 2008, 4:29 pm

I think that we could use a forum like the type that you've mentioned. I wonder how we can go about this. :idea:

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LePetitPrince
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24 Dec 2008, 4:31 pm

ephemerella wrote:

I'm looking for a forum where I can discuss stuff at a level that is relevant to AS who are functional in the sense of being able to have basic features of life in place: relationship, education and lifestyle, and who just want to work through their issues and real life.

The Adult sections seem to be about hardcore sex topics. The Adult life discussions seem to me to be people who want to hang out with other people their age, not issue-focused.

My interest in Love and Dating is more along the lines of "Theoretical and Applied Love, Socializing and Sexuality"

I would want to discuss love, sexuality and socializing at an advanced topic level, like a discussion thread on the research, socialization courses that are online that are above the level of conversational skills, and so on. Post research article discussions, advanced self-development outlines, etc.

I will be honest here, and hope I am not offensive:

The forums on this site seem dominated by the teenage male world view, discussion comfort zones and intellectual level. Everywhere, it is the teenaged male ego and intellectual level and world view that is some kind of groupthink.

The discussions in this forum are mostly more or less the same: the guys post questions that you don't know how to answer b/c you don't know if they are operating at the 12-year old level or 25-year old level so no one gives a meaningful answer, some guys post absurd pickup game playing and Machiavellian crap, and the women check in and say cute, supportive things and "be yourself" which the guys can't figure out how to apply.

It's not like you're actually talking about love and dating issues, if you have a lover or are dating, much less theories of love, theories of sex and theories of dating. Or doing any real problem solving (which is not that hard). The forum appears to be a place where teenaged guys hang out while they think about dating and girls. The questions can be so lost and heartbreaking... when there are simple answers.

Love and Dating Forum: teenaged guys hang out and bond with each other while thinking about dating and girls
Any other Forum: teenaged guys hang out and bond with each other about what that forum topic is supposed to be

Is there no high-I.Q., high-functioning place where discussions can take place and a lowest common denominator groupthink is not enforced to be the teenage male one?

I am particularly interested in social psychology, cognitive science, real life, theories of love and theories of sexuality. Scienceblogs don't appear to be that bad, but I find the layout really uncomfortable for some reason. And the format is commenting on articles, which is very limited in topic scope.

Here on WP or elsewhere? With Asperger forcus? That has socializing, sex and love -- advanced topics and even theories and research? Is that MENSA web any good for AS people?

I will make a donation to WP if someone can help me find a good forum on the web for what I need and am looking for.

The above is the kind of help I need... thanks. I can't find anything, myself -- "forums" doesn't Google well for some reason.

Quote:

Forums for High-Functioning, High-I.Q. Aspergers?

This is a very offensive topic despite the polite tone.However, your politeness doesn't cover the offense of this thread.

Second, you should be aware that, according to studies, that only a small percentage of aspies and very small percentage of autistics are engaged or married , most of us end up singles and that's a fact. So you should accept a lot of love "theories" and ideas threads more than real relationships threads.

Third, no one is forbidding you to post "advanced-level" and "mature' topics , in fact I see many of such advanced topics. Just dig a little bit.

Quote:

Is there no high-I.Q., high-functioning place where discussions can take place and a lowest common denominator groupthink is not enforced to be the teenage male one?

You think that you are more superior than others? So you think that most members here are of low-IQ aspergers? and what's wrong about the Low-Functioning aspies? Isn't WP about neurodiversity?

Yes, there's a forum for you like this lady and it's called nazi.com , join it and enjoy. And if you hate males that much why you don't just post in the Women section?

Besides, this section is for all ages, so live with it or leave.

And can you prove your claims? can you claim that the majority of threads here are childish?

Airborne
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24 Dec 2008, 4:41 pm

Maybe the womans forum? Idk. Im offended and sorry at the same time from this thread. I try my hardest not to be that average guy because that average guy is always a jerk. It seams as if I have failed, Im sorry if I have offended you in any way, I for one really dont have too much trouble socializing, parents and teachers pretty much beat it into my head. I would like to see a "High IQ" forum but it would be very exclusive and it seams as if your insulting people who are no less than a genius. What would be the requirements? Age: No that would be based on the assumption that age always determines maturity which is somewhat true in the NT world but in the AS world thats not always true. IQ: This like I said would be discriminatory in that it could turn elitist very fast. Ive been on forums before where they had "Members" "_Members" and the "_Members" always displayed high levels of arrogance and uncanny pride. In all I dont like woman who feel the need to dog on all of guys because they think that all guys are ass holes, you have no comprehensive ability to dog on guys if you arent a guy and most woman who dog on men dont get that, rather apathetic and selfish dont you think (I am not apethic despite having AS)?

ephemerella
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24 Dec 2008, 4:56 pm

LePetitPrince wrote:

...You think that you are more superior than others? So you think that most members here are of low-IQ aspergers? and what's wrong about the Low-Functioning aspies? Isn't WP about neurodiversity?

Yes, there's a forum for you like this lady and it's called nazi.com , join it and enjoy. And if you hate males that much why you don't just post in the Women section?

Besides, this section is for all ages, so live with it or leave.

And can you prove your claims? can you claim that the majority of threads here are childish?

You're reading of my post lacked comprehension. I have no idea how many AS here are low-I.Q. or high-I.Q. I'm just seeking more high-I.Q. topics. Nothing is wrong with low-functioning AS. However since discussions tend to occur on a common-denominator range, that makes it hard to have mature topics/in-depth discussion.

Look at Greentea's "Lie" thread in "General Autism Discussion", and Tantybi's "NTP" thread. It's hard to have a discussion about thought exercises or mature topics like corruption, lying and abuse without fearful Pollyannish ASD attacking the thread.

You didn't read my post with very much comprehension. If I try to explain, I'd just be rewriting the OP post and that's a waste of time.

ephemerella
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24 Dec 2008, 5:02 pm

Airborne wrote:

No, I'm sorry if you got that impression! You've never offended me...

Airborne wrote:

Age: No that would be based on the assumption that age always determines maturity which is somewhat true in the NT world but in the AS world thats not always true. IQ: This like I said would be discriminatory in that it could turn elitist very fast. Ive been on forums before where they had "Members" "_Members" and the "_Members" always displayed high levels of arrogance and uncanny pride. In all I dont like woman who feel the need to dog on all of guys because they think that all guys are ass holes, you have no comprehensive ability to dog on guys if you arent a guy and most woman who dog on men dont get that, rather apathetic and selfish dont you think (I am not apethic despite having AS)?

Not at all... just would be nice if there was some way to flag posts and threads indicating that it's taking place on a mature level... like when someone posts a Q in Love and Dating, it's almost impossible to tell if they are 14 or 35. That makes it really difficult to tell how to think about answering: "Should I kiss her if .... " Plus there is so much diversity in social skills building, like who knows how to read body language but nothing else, and who already knows how to hold conversations and just wants to know how to find a good match...

Then, if you start talking social issues, it's even harder to try to get through a thread without a culture war breaking out in some subjects.

Not exclusive, but just saying "This is the intended age level of this discussion", so I won't be talking about having sex to someone who is 13 years old, and just wants to talk to a girl, for example. Also the same for political, etc. topics.

ephemerella
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24 Dec 2008, 5:06 pm

Hector wrote:

If you're looking for an "AS focus", then unless men are specifically excluded then you're bound to find a certain demographic of young men. Actually most of the adult men on WP are taken or have relationship experience, it's just that in Love and Dating there is a predominance of single frustrated men, some of which have been particularly aggressive. There is a "Women's Discussion" forum on WP which I'm sure you've seen already, but there's a policy that if you specify in the title of a thread you make that the topic is female-only then any posts by male WP members in that thread would be deleted. At least that's as far as I'm aware and the stickied thread at the top says, given that for obvious reasons I don't go there very often.

... Also, if you're looking for "theories" and "research" with a sound scientific basis then I can't imagine that public internet forums are good places to look.

Thank you, for your thoughtful post. I think you're right.

I wouldn't want to exclude anyone, just wondering how to stop being so offensive all the time, without having to resort to dumbing down everything to being vacuous and sanitized blank statements that are pleasant for everyone. There is too much diversity for me to avoid being so offensive.

Probably most of my issue is my own communications problem.

ephemerella
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24 Dec 2008, 5:34 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:

This sounds like an excellent idea, given my questions about relationships.
My issues usually involving conflicting viewpoints...

emroidious wrote:

I'm rather keen to your interests as well ephemerella. I'm not sure how much information is available that relates to adults with AS and their interpersonal relationship problems, as most information that I've been able to find seems to be focused on children and young adults. However, I would be happy to take part in some intelligent discourse if you were to post some topics on the boards here (forgive me if you've done such and no one replied, I just registered today).

CerebralDreamer wrote:

..Usually, with forums like this, best to look into expansion, rather than leaving. Would be nice to have a more intellectual forum here I think. Most of it seems to be by those who haven't quite yet adapted to their AS, which really pulls down and stereotypes the entire forum, chasing off those of us who HAVE adapted.

Cyberman wrote:

The thing that gets me about this forum, aside from the immaturity and sexism, is that people keep coming up with reasons as to why we're "unqualified" to have relationships... a fundamental aspect of human existence.

garyww wrote:

Instead of 'adult' areas maybe a 'Mature' area or a 'Mature Intellectual' area. I doubt that a title is important. As one of the old people here it does seem at times as if the threads are dominated with a much younger viewpoint of the topic in question. That's okay as I enjoy reading almost everything but I can understand why somebody might prefer to talk about many of these subjects at a very deep level, not just glancing along the surface.
In the absence of such as separate catagory maybe some of us should start some 'deeper' types of threads. I'm not bright enough to think of anything specific myself unless somebody wants to talk about quantum theory of the brain which I doubt so I have it to leave it for others.

techstepgenr8tion wrote:

It sounds like you want to talk with people who have depth. People of such are few and far between, culture - either AS or NT I think - is actually rather anti-depth in its attitudes. There's really no escape hatch, rather this is just the kind of world we live in...

NeantHumain wrote:

Here are a couple of relationships-related articles I found while on my "break" from "work" yesterday:

DIscuss...

CockneyRebel wrote:

I think that we could use a forum like the type that you've mentioned. I wonder how we can go about this. :idea:

Orbyss wrote:

...Intellectual forums of any sort seem hard to come by anywhere on the internet, but there are specialty groups on Yahoo and the like which have been created for interests like you're after. You could even create one yourself and advertise it here, to grab anyone else who's interested.

Thank you for your contributions and advice. I'm wondering why I didn't do this sooner. It's like a gift to put up a question and have all this advice and the ideas pour in.

I think my OP post was unnecessarily negative. A lot of my problem is I'm too offensive and insensitive in my posting, partly because of my communications disorder and partly because I get too focused on my ideas to think about others. The diversity makes it very difficult for me to try to be inoffensive and I'm constantly getting attacked. There is a high proportion of the attacks that are due to simple level-of-interpretation mishap.

Also, about starting deeper threads and so on... all of the suggestions above and examples are great.

Perhaps I can try to start threads flagged for what point of view (POV) the material is for: "Mature POV" "Theoretical-academic" or "25+ POV", or "Female POV", so that people won't come in attacking the comments as subversive or inappropriate or condescending. So anyone can talk about anything but they will know what context to read the comments in. And maybe I can avoid threads where the discussion appears to be at a level where if I comment people will get offended.

I will look on Yahoo! etc. for those forums, too.

Thanks, have a great Xmas--- will check in later.

LePetitPrince
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24 Dec 2008, 5:48 pm

Let's see if the OP's claims are correct in a scientific way,

Let's take the first page of the L&D as representative sample of the quality of threads here:

There are 44 non-sticky threads on 1st page, I'll make a summary for each and let's categorize them under "Teenaged/Low IQ" (T) vs deep Mature (M):

1-Any Forums for High-Functioning, High-I.Q. Aspergers?

not counted.

2-High Persistence: Adaptation to the Environment or ...?

A deep enviromental analytical question , doesn't sound "Chilidsh/teenage" thread.

Score : M

3-Asking a girl out online: Acceptable or no?

It's a thread where the OP is asking an online approach to ask a girl out , nothing teenaged about that.

Score: M

4-Requesting Emergency Help: Dating a girl with BPD...

It's a thread where the OP asking for insights about hisBPD -AS relationship. Doesn't sound immature at all.

Score :M

5-Self Destruct Engaged - Kaboom!!

A 50 yo old member asking serious series of question , check it out. Not teenage-view thread at all.

The OP sounds very mature and reasonable.

Score: M

6- Making friends in NM

A guy asking for online friends to chat in NM. Not really deep or mature thread.

Score: T

7- How to overcome the fear of rejection

A game playing Machiavellian thread

Score: T

8-Insecure and jealous.

It's a thread about a girl describing her own deep insecurities and jealousy regarding her boyfriend, very honest mature thread.

Score:M

9-Where Do you meet women????

Score:T

10-Most Attractive Aspie guy

typical teen-like thread

Score :T

11-Are Women More Negative Once You Get to Know Them?

Deep analytical thread.

Score : M

12-I love my significant other, I know I do, but then..........

Very mature thread, the OP is asking how to handle his relationship with this bf

Score: M

13-Is it possible for a girl to become an Asperger obsession?

A guy asking about his obsession for a girl and he's asking if it's aspie thing, repetitive but not an immature topic

Score: M

14-Nice Guy's Approach to Socializing (And Dating!)[b]

No, this is not another stupid nice vs jerk thread
This very very mature thread.

Score:M

[b] 15-Dating people with other disabilities

Based on title the score is:

Score: M

16-What's worked for you? Relationship advice

exchanging relationship experiences and wisdom, this thread must be sticky. Very deep and helpful thread.

17-I'm looking for a boyfriend

another looking thread...

Score:T (not very immature thread tho)

18-Has anyone never had a GF/BF before?

Score:M

19-NT/Aspie Girls- Does intelligence mean anything romantically

The OP is asking aspie girls if intelligence is an important trait to them.

Score:M

20-What's your score on HotOrNot.com?

Hot or not.

Score: T

21-The continuing saga of my first Girlfriend...

While the OP sounds very immature but hey....the guy himself IS a teen ...nothing wrong about that.

Score : T

22-Opposite Side

This guy is telling us an example of an "aspie moment" with his fiancee which causing him bit trouble.

Score: M

23-i miss being intimate with someone[b]

The OP is missing being intimate with someone? Is this too immature for you ephermella?

Score : M

[b]24-What are the chances of two-aspie relationship?

Score : M

25-This topic requires attention. Please. It's about a girl.

The OP is asking how to read the signs of his loved one. Nothing immature about that.

Score: M

26-I am the XX year old virgin. Add your name to the list.

This thread is a mix of deep mature and childish comments.

Score: -

27-Eternally clueless

Mature thread

Score: M

28-Analysis of my love life- I need your conclusion/advice

Analytical deep and honest thread. The OP is analyzing his love life and his own flaws and he's asking for conclusions. Very deep thread.

Score:M

29-Herein Explored Are the Subtypes of Nice Guy

Untypical analytical thread about the categories of "nice guys".

Score: M

30-Does anyone else just not see the point in marriage?[b/]

The point in marriage , enough said.

Score: M

[b]31-What is the MOST ATTRACTIVE Aspie woman you've ever...

Score: T

32-A question for all you nice guys

Teen and irrational frustrations

Score: T

33-Is it really better to have loved and lost . . .

Score :M

34-Hollywood effect.

Analytical thread about the impact of hollywood on our preferences.

Score: M

35-Long distance relationship: Being open about it

Score: M

36-Question involving Aspergers and relationships

A girl trying to find a way to explain aspeger to her bf in a comprehensible way.

Score: M

37-Polycistic ovaries

The guy is talking about his relationship with a woman having a polysistic ovaries syndrome ...

Score: M

38-An online dilemma ... plz help.

This is my thread, in order to not accuse me that I am being biased here then I won't score it but try to judge it yourselves.

Score: -

39-I did it again..

The OP girl is asking why she's always fall in love with someone who's in love with someone else. Doesn't make much sense but it's not childish thread.

Score: M

40-The Competition: On Quashing Them

Score: T

41-To nonvirgin gays & st8s: STOP GLOATING ABOUT YOUR SEX L

yelling.....

Score: T

42-Women read body-lang 10x better than men? What do they...

non-scientific and wrong thread with unreliable sources

Score:T

43-relationship and asperger's

The OP is worry about the impact of her aspeger's bf on their future life together...and she's asking how to make it work.

Score: M

44-Beyonce - If I Were a Boy Parody
Score: T

Conclusion: Out of 44 threads, there are only 11 immature threads and 2 not-scored while there are 31 deep , analytical and mature threads.

Note that I am following the following criteria to determine if a specific thread is "deep/mature" or not:

Quote:

The discussions in this forum are mostly more or less the same: the guys post questions that you don't know how to answer b/c you don't know if they are operating at the 12-year old level or 25-year old level so no one gives a meaningful answer, some guys post absurd pickup game playing and Machiavellian crap, and the women check in and say cute, supportive things and "be yourself" which the guys can't figure out how to apply.

Those 31 M threads don't contain any pickup game playing and Machiavellian crap , or "be yourself" crap or guys operating at 12-year old level.

The accusations of ephemerella are only based on her own arrogance and prejudice and not based on reality.

Compared to all the love forums I visit or I visited , WP love Threads contain the deepest and least-shallow threads.

ephemerella , this is Love and Dating section ...it's not science section or philosophy section , you can find those in other sections on WP.

Last edited by LePetitPrince on 24 Dec 2008, 6:38 pm, edited 5 times in total.

LePetitPrince
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24 Dec 2008, 5:56 pm

ephemerella wrote:

LePetitPrince wrote:

Oh I am sorry Miss ephemerella, my IQ score is only around 115 ...I am still a primitive crawling carbon and my level of comprehension didn't reach your superior 200 of IQ level . I am short in stature and intelligence and I still need a couple millions of years of evolution in order to reach your high level of your superior being...

No dear ...I understood your thread very well.

Last edited by LePetitPrince on 27 Dec 2008, 9:04 am, edited 1 time in total.

ephemerella
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24 Dec 2008, 6:05 pm

LePetitPrince wrote:

Your ratings are ridiculous. Most of your "M" ratings are "T" and some of your "T" ratings are "C".

That "The Competition: On Quashing Them" is not only NOT a mature topic, it's a dysfunctional teen Machiavellian plotting for sex approach to getting girls. It falls in both the "Teen" and the "Machiavellian" categories.

This is an example of how one I can't post something different or unusual without people who can't understand my concepts (due to age, culture or other reasons) dumping all over it. Your posts are kind of are an example of what I'm trying to describe.

Your rating of these topics is totally different than how I would rate them. Period. In posting this absurd list, you've gone far beyond just disagreeing with me and your list just demonstrates that I would have to spend time going down into a micro level explaining these thread topics to you, and why I disagree with your "ratings of them". This is a total waste of time and an example of the futility of trying to get anything past the young AS male thought police.

LePetitPrince wrote:

...Oh I am sorry Miss ephemerella, my IQ score is only around 115 ...

With an I.Q. of 115 you should not be reading other people's posts with the assumption that you understand them well enough in all of their complexity to unload scathing bile. The kind of sneering condescension and judgmentalism that you have unloaded usually has to a have a much stronger basis than you have laid to try to support it.

Go away, please.

Last edited by ephemerella on 24 Dec 2008, 6:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

LePetitPrince
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24 Dec 2008, 6:08 pm

ephemerella wrote:

LePetitPrince wrote:

Ok , I rescored the Quashing them thread according to your Criteria.

But I challenge you to find another mis-scored thread.

I challenge you ephemerella to score every thread I posted and let's see if the majority are really immature threads.

Come on , go ahead and score those 44 threads . One by one.

I am not going away, I am staying here. Thanks.

And no dear ...I am not ranting at all, I am feeling very relaxed today , it's raining outside and tomorrow is off ...it's a lovely night

ephemerella
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24 Dec 2008, 6:14 pm

LePetitPrince wrote:

I'm NOT going to go through and individually insult people's threads, especially those that are about their personal or love relationship problems.

You are being so inappropriate in this posting behavior in attempting to list and rate people's personal problem and intellectual discussion posts. And then challenging me to downrate them. I am offended that you have done this on my thread, embarrassing these people.

I would appreciate it if you went back and removed the list of thread topics and the personally insulting ratings that you put next to them!

Please do that or I will ask a moderator to remove that list and your ratings!

Someone suggested that we ask for an OP-moderated forum so as to remove spoilers like this. That is a good idea.

ephemerella
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24 Dec 2008, 6:16 pm

How do you contact a moderator?

Could a moderator please remove LPP's "Teen/Low IQ" rating list of peoples' post from my thread?

Last edited by ephemerella on 24 Dec 2008, 6:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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24 Dec 2008, 6:18 pm

Thats kind of why I suggested the 'mature' label, since it doesn't discrininate against age just one level of responsibility. Also I seriously doubt that IQ is a very good indicator of one's actual intelligence as opposed to test taking intelligence. Some remarkable people have very low IQ's. and some with high IQ's are idiots.
I do find that's it hard to talk at a mature level here quite often becasue to few people, in a general broad sweep of the tern 'people', have enough life experiences with relationships to make relevant comments which narrows the range of possible input to such discussions.

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LePetitPrince
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24 Dec 2008, 6:19 pm

ephemerella wrote:

LePetitPrince wrote:

}

Nope, you are the one who offended the members here by claiming that most of their threads lack "high-IQ".

I insulted no person in my ratings. Those are my opinions about the threads.

Hmm I wasn't expecting a good reaction from you. So , let the third party judges.

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24 Dec 2008, 6:23 pm

:deleted:

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Last edited by Zane on 30 Dec 2008, 7:02 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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