What kind of woman would think Asperger's is sexy?

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CelticGoddess
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25 Feb 2009, 7:24 pm

mitharatowen wrote:
I agree!! !

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Lol actually.. no I hadn't noticed. Have we been on the same threads alot? :?

I just posted after you in Apep's thread agreeing with you and then came here and you agreed with me. Most times I read what you write and agree in my head but forget to respond. :wink:



mitharatowen
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25 Feb 2009, 7:27 pm

^ Oh alright :D
Well that's good! lol

Sorry. I tend to notice the words more than who posted it. Nothing personal! I think you're great when I do notice you!! lol

.....I'm just digging myself in further.. aren't I? :lol:



CelticGoddess
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25 Feb 2009, 7:45 pm

^ Meh. Not at all. I always notice people's avatars first before I read comments so that's why I noticed. :lol:



pinkbowtiepumps
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27 Feb 2009, 1:45 pm

A lot of the guys I find myself interested in seem to at least have Aspie-like tendencies. Passion in what someone does, honesty and independence are highly favorable traits, espescially in regard to a relationship. More people need to be like this, in my opinion - Aspies are awesome!



Kilroy
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27 Feb 2009, 2:24 pm

pinkbowtiepumps wrote:
A lot of the guys I find myself interested in seem to at least have Aspie-like tendencies. Passion in what someone does, honesty and independence are highly favorable traits, espescially in regard to a relationship. More people need to be like this, in my opinion - Aspies are awesome!



not most of them



LordKristov
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28 Feb 2009, 11:26 pm

Here's my take on this question:

While there may be some women who think our actual condition is something sexy, I think they are few and far between. There is a lot of misinformation out there, and some may be unwilling to dig deeper to separate fact from fiction. I am relatively new to all this myself, and I am gaining insight as to my own condition to better equip myself for dealing with a future relationship.

Telling that "special someone" - for those of us who have not completely abandoned all hope - that you have a form of autism could be something of a bombshell. While I cannot say for certain how the scenario will play out I do know this much: I would want to have a very reasoned, well-thought explanation of what that entails - both the positives and the negatives. Sure, we will likely end up with some cases of "shellshock", but then we aren't really wanting to settle for those who cannot accept us, now are we?

Some of you will call me an idealistic fool for doing something like that. But I have also been in a long-term relationship, and I can say for certain given enough time with someone we will - I repeat will - have to face both sides of the coin.

I think it would be more likely a woman would be attracted to many of the traits commonly associated with AS. Honesty, intelligence, and - once they're old enough (or mature enough, or been hurt enough) to realize its importance - loyalty and respect. It may be wise to save "the talk" for when things become more serious, and you have a little more time to get to know her - and gauge whether or not the mental and emotional fortitude is there to stand up to that shell. This is at times very difficult for us Aspie men to do, but it is not impossible. We know we have a hard time reading people instinctually. All this means is we need a little more time to process things and apply a little bit of conscious thought.

And we will likely attract women of many stripes - from the "predatory" types who think we will make an easy target to those who really do want to be with us for who we are. Yes, the latter are rare, quite possibly even the stuff of legends, and like one previous poster said they will likely be "non-mainstream". But you know what? That can be turned into common ground: the rest of the world considers you both "weird". Then you can go freak out "normal" people together :twisted:

Now to go heat up some cookies. I need a chocolate fix.


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JohnHopkins
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28 Feb 2009, 11:53 pm

Magnus wrote:
In the end, it is desperate women who are attracted to aspies.


None of the girls I've been with have had any shortage of admirers, actually. Especially my current lass.



Cyanide
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01 Mar 2009, 12:14 am

Christians, from my experience :lol: .



BPalmer
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01 Mar 2009, 12:25 am

Uh-uh. Only if you have good earning prospects. Most of them had this "God wouldn't give me someone who wasn't perfect" attitude.



LordKristov
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01 Mar 2009, 12:26 am

Cyanide wrote:
Christians, from my experience :lol: .


Being in Oklahoma like I am, this will likely be the case for me as well. But then again, I've heard plenty of stories about those preachers' daughters.... :wink:

Sorry, couldn't resist.


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Cyanide
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01 Mar 2009, 2:33 am

BPalmer wrote:
Uh-uh. Only if you have good earning prospects. Most of them had this "God wouldn't give me someone who wasn't perfect" attitude.

Hm, I guess we know different kinds of Christians then.
I tend to attract pretty religious ones, but they're always stuck in between with me. I live my life a lot like a Christian "should" (I don't do drugs or drink a bunch), but I'm not at all religious. They always have a problem with that last detail. Sometimes I wish I was a Christian, just so it would be easier...



ToadOfSteel
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01 Mar 2009, 2:36 am

BPalmer wrote:
Uh-uh. Only if you have good earning prospects. Most of them had this "God wouldn't give me someone who wasn't perfect" attitude.


Yeah, uhh, I gave up on having God give me someone who was perfect, and am setting for God to hopefully just give me someone... (because to get anyone now would take a miracle...)



Keeno
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01 Mar 2009, 5:47 pm

Christian girls haven't shown any more attraction to me than non-Christian girls. If I've ever been able to connect with any at all (and you do need to feel you're connecting otherwise probably you're jumping the gun if you try to take contact further), it's been on a Christian basis and not a romantic one. Also, not many single females at my church, if any.

Some more thoughts on the original question... possibly medical students? They'll have an awareness of autism, such as at an autism event I attended this weekend which was mainly medical students. A couple looked like they were interested in me, with awareness that I was there as someone with AS. Then again, they were intuitive and perfectly socially centric, again a more intuitive man could develop a relationship with them, again why would they go for an Aspie over someone more intuitive?

Again I'm having thoughts that socially, I seem often to attract attention-deficit and obsessive-complusive types. Why would that be any different relationship wise?

I've also been thinking another Aspie is not necessarily the answer. This, too, is because of intuition and because courtship requires a lot more of it compared to friendship. Courtship also requires a lot more in the way of understanding, using, interpreting and responding to non-verbal communication cues. Which might be made harder if both parties are Aspies. Maybe an Aspie needs a partner with more intuition than themselves, even if they're likely to be non-mainstream.



Dee_
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05 Mar 2009, 2:37 am

This Autie has a preference for a Autie/Aspie than the NT.

I prefer the oddball or eccentric personalities over the B.S. and drama that comes along with the NT women.

Hopefully a female Aspie/Autie I can grow old with... If it is meant to be... if not, it is all good as well...



BPalmer
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05 Mar 2009, 4:56 am

Keeno wrote:
Christian girls haven't shown any more attraction to me than non-Christian girls. If I've ever been able to connect with any at all (and you do need to feel you're connecting otherwise probably you're jumping the gun if you try to take contact further), it's been on a Christian basis and not a romantic one. Also, not many single females at my church, if any.

In all fairness, my experiences (or lack thereof) weren't attributable to them being Christians, but being fairly sheltered and conservative. No-one knew how to handle someone with autistic traits and a troubled background (father disappeared when I was 11; abusive stepfather "filled the void"). There was a lot of good in them, through God's grace, but it was simply a church culture I couldn't really fit into.



Keeno
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05 Mar 2009, 7:55 pm

Dee_ wrote:
This Autie has a preference for a Autie/Aspie than the NT.

I prefer the oddball or eccentric personalities over the B.S. and drama that comes along with the NT women.

Hopefully a female Aspie/Autie I can grow old with... If it is meant to be... if not, it is all good as well...


Be careful about the oddball and eccentric personalities too.

I was going to add yet more opinion. And it's about exactly this type of thing. Oddball and eccentric personalities are what I attract, socially. That goes for whether they're Aspie or NT.

The oddball, eccentric personalities have attracted drama to my life. It can be quite insidious because the people I attract tend to be brainwashing or doom-mongering me. It doesn't just come along with NT's. If it does, it's the oddball eccentric NT's. Personally I'd be a lot better and more stable, with stable contacts, Aspie or NT.

I say socially because what I've said applies to friendship.. that's all I can go by since I have not had romantic relationships, but why would they be different? I just know, for me, the oddball eccentric types would be more drama.