sly279 wrote:
Chronos wrote:
To be honest, I’ve been thinking a lot about the endless stream of typically young guys who come in here to vent their frustrations with dating. I, as well as others have often tried to help them, but I have come to the conclusion that we shouldn’t.
If a person with a pervasive social development disorder who knows they have such a disorder posseses such a level of cognitive dissonance that have redefined normal and average to pertain to themselves rather than admit they are outliers to avoid facing the reality that normal average people are dating marrying and having sex in en mass, and they are not, by virtue of the fact that they are socially delayed alone, and their shortcomings are internal rather than external, these are individuals who, in their present mindset, lack the capacity to grow as people and should not be in relationships because they are not at a place where they would be able to Maintain one. They lack the necessary social fitness And few of them seem to never acquire it due to There in ability to Look them selves in the mirror and admit that they are not average and the problem is with them and not anyone else. While they are here trying to distort statistics To meet their comfortable delusion, the bulk of the human population is doing as it always did, having relationships marrying having sex and perpetuating the human species.
Why don’t you just come out and call us worthless losers?
Because my idea of the definition of loser is likely different than yours.
sly279 wrote:
I’ve never heard the middle class called average it’s always been the working jonthe average joe blue collar jobs not middle class white collar jobs.
Many women here have said I’m average guy then you now say average is only middle class income . So brings us back what about the millions and millions of loser men? Low income people make up the majority in America way more of use then average people.
There are different types of averages. When women say you are an average guy they probably don't know what your income level or net worth is. They probably mean that physically and behaviorally you don't stand out.
The definition of middle class and working class will vary slightly, but according to Pew Research Center, the American middle class makes up 51% of the adult population, upper class, 21% and lower class, 29/%. Working class is not necessarily synonymous with poor or low income. The wage distribution of "blue collar" working class jobs simply has more variance than the wage distribution of "white collar" jobs, and probably a lower average which has lowered over time. But the jobs we typically associate with working class....contractors, plumbers, coal miners, oil workers, can actually be fairly well paying, at least such that the person is solidly in the middle class or even upper middle class.
sly279 wrote:
You started all those to prove people like us marry etc but then redefined average as being middle class income which most of us are not. I dont know what middle class people do I’m not middle class and never will be.
I think you are confusing me with someone else. Here are all the things I have said on this thread aside from that which is stated above. I had not previously made any comments about the average guy as it relates to income level on this thread.
What I said... wrote:
Comment 1 wrote:
The average guy has a partner.
By 2012, only 23% of American men over the age of 25 had never been married but a good number of those have probably had partners. The guys who don't managed to get partners are in the minority.
Comment 2 wrote:
How many of those 124.6 million people are under 25 though? People tend to have very touch and go relationships until their mid to late 20s.
Comment 3 wrote:
To answer your question, what happened between 1976 and 2014? Well a lot of older people who married when marriage was something people did young because they were expected to, died, leaving single widows and widowers, and a lot of people who were too young to marry in 2014 by modern standards were born. The age distribution of the population is bottom heavy, with more younger people than older people and people aren't forming long term relationships until they are older.
Comment 4 and 5? wrote:
It still stands that the average man is not single.
In fact, I would say most of these people actually slightly above average in looks because wedding photographers only post the better looking people to their portfolios. I'd also say the women are better looking than the average woman more than the men are better looking than the average men.
Comment 6 wrote:
Yeah the women are actually pretty good looking...like I said though, wedding photographers will try to post the best in their portfolios so it's not is only an approximation of the average couple. Also they are professional photographers and know the lighting, filters and lenses to use to make people look better than their best....they also do a good bit of post editing these days. But the guys are average and certainly not the models the OP thinks are getting all the women. People used to put wedding and engagement announcements in the news paper all the time. They weren't expensive. Most people hire wedding photographers. Some of them have good jobs. The others we don't really know but the average man is married and makes an average middle class income in the west.
Comment 7 wrote:
Because scent, even imperceptible scent such as pheromones, is important to women in mate selection. There have been various studies on this.
Somewhat off topic but I used to have a lab partner who looked like Mario Lopez and was probably the first 10 to ever talk to me, but his breath was so horrible I didn’t want to be near him.
sly279 wrote:
I wish people like you would stop offering your “help” it’s not help it’s condeming us no thinaks it just makes us feel worse and more depressed which is opposite of help.
Did I not just propose we not help? Yes I did...
I said wrote:
To be honest, I’ve been thinking a lot about the endless stream of typically young guys who come in here to vent their frustrations with dating. I, as well as others have often tried to help them, but I have come to the conclusion that we shouldn’t.
However in reply to your last comment, when you post in a public forum you do not get to choose what kind of replies you get. You might get replies that you find helpful, regardless of their intent, and you might get replies that you find the opposite of helpful, regardless of their intent. That is the nature of posting in a public forum. It would be unreasonable to expect other people to only say things that make you feel better even if they intend to make you feel better...how can they know what you need to hear if you don't even know? If you knew, you could say it to yourself and make yourself feel better.
I don't see how stating truths is condemning. I think it far more condemning for a man who does not have super model features to think that only men with super model features get women, or a man who is not rich to think that only rich men get women, and so on, and this is the state of mankind, when it's very obviously not true.
If I never acknowledged I was fat, I would still be fat today. I had to look in the mirror and say to myself "I'm not chubby, I'm, not a little overweight, I'm fat and nothing is going to make me look slim but losing weight"
If I never faced the fact that I struggled with math, I never would have obtained any of my degrees and learned the wonderful things about the universe that I learned.
If I never acknowledged my social short comings and other things related to ASD, and instead prescribed to the notion that I was the nicest person in the world and society was just mean, and cruel, and unfair, and had "irrational standards" I never would have made the progress in life that I did. I would be in a group home feeling absolutely miserable all the time and having having melt downs over basic, every day things.
I do not prescribe to delusions because delusions are not helpful. There are plenty of guys here who realize that and they might still be struggling but at least they know what they need to work on and are trying. As long as you know what you need to improve and make an effort to do so, you give yourself a chance.
I will revise a claim upon more careful reading. I did mention the average guy with respect to income level briefly. I said "The others we don't really know but the average man is married and makes an average middle class income in the west."
This was in response to a conversation on the affordability of wedding photos and is accurate.
09 Jan 2018, 1:49 pm
