What is the main reason why guys have to do the approaching?

Page 23 of 31 [ 490 posts ] Go to page Previous 1 ... 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26 ... 31 Next

Previous topic | Next topic

Kurgan
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Apr 2012
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,132
Location: Scandinavia

18 Nov 2012, 2:10 pm

unduki wrote:

Take a look at all the out of shape girls with inexpensive sweatpants, moonboots, no make-up, and low maintenance hairstyles that are still in relationships. When was the last time a woman permanently injured her lower back from wearing make-up, blew her rotator cuffs for wearing low rise jeans, or busted her knee joints for wearing push up bras? This happens in the gym to men who try to reach the ludicrous beauty standards that are imposed on men all the time.

As far as I'm concerned buying fashion clothes and wearing make-up would be far easier than entering the f.cking popularity contest men are born into just for being men—or compensating for the lack of coolness by getting a master's degree in science or getting fit in the gym. If a woman wants a degree of fitness like Rihanna, all she needs to do is burn slightly more calories than she consumes for a few months. If a man wants to look like Gerard Butler, a lot more work is needed.

aspiesandra27
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Nov 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 825
Location: london

18 Nov 2012, 2:14 pm

Kurgan, I like skinny, geeky and lanky. Always did.

Those gym worshippers you mention? They do nothing for me. So stop generalising, please.

Giftorcurse
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 13 Apr 2009
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,887
Location: Port Royal, South Carolina

18 Nov 2012, 2:18 pm

You got to get the b***h to know who's in charge.

_________________
Yes, I'm still alive.

billiscool
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 5 Feb 2006
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,989

18 Nov 2012, 2:31 pm

unduki wrote:

billiscool wrote:

ok, so what we have here are two ladies. One who has had at least 2 boyfriends. and current dating one now.
another woman who likes women but is not ''bi'' or ''lesbian'' are coming here and complain to us men.
On how women have just as hard as men, It just like what I said.
Do any ladies even have a clue why so many men are so upset here. Ok I just write it out plainy.
These are asperger men because of their disabilty make it hard for them to get a date, these men want to being a relationship.
And yes these men do want to have sex too but they always want a relationship.
Yet all you women with the same asperger disabilty are regular getting men to go out with you.
Yeah, there are people who think you are weird and sure many of you women do have struggles but in the end of the day
you have very,very high chances of dating.

It ridiculus how many aspie women keep telling all these dateless asperger men that aspie women too have it hard and relationship is difficult for them too but yet they have boyfriends and more than 1 in their time.

unless you are a woman who has never,ever dated a man and are least 30, then you really no idea what these men are going threw.

I'm not without feeling for the plight of shy guys. I'm just not going to take abuse because of a man's inadequacies.

Your angry at the word inadequacy? It's just a statement of fact. I will concede that while fatness is a fact and that saying someone is fat can be considered rude if being fat is the discussion, you need to be able to view fat as fat without the negative connotations.

We all have inadequacies. It's part of the human condition and it's ok. If you want to discuss it realistically, that's great, but it seems you only want to rag on women. Naturally, I felt the need to defend my sex. And you continue to attack, with your inappropriate characterizations. I will no longer take your posts seriously. You are not rational. You are not cool. You are mean.

I feel bad for people who are shy, or whatever multi-syllable label you want to use. I grew up watching my mother deal with her shyness. I think that she dealt with it head-on showed amazing strength. She never whined about it or tried to blame it on an entire gender. She died shy, but lived a fuller life for trying.

I help my friends where I can because I want the best for them. I'm glad they don't feel the need to put me down because of their own particular weaknesses that have nothing to do with me and everything to do with them. It's easier to help people who are nice, but some people just don't want to be helped. They just want to place the blame on anyone but themselves. I'm sorry the world isn't to your liking.

what are you ladies talking about? Im just pointing the facts. Aspie women have alot higher chances of getting a date than an aspie man does. Men judges aspie women alot less than women judge aspie men.

billiscool
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 5 Feb 2006
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,989

18 Nov 2012, 2:46 pm

aspiesandra27 wrote:

I agree with Unduki re billiscool. It does seem you are blaming the whole of the female gender for your troubles. It's *not* cool. I only found someone whom I enjoy being with, in my forties. I consider myself lucky despite knowing there is so much that needs to be worked on. Get over it. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and adopt a positive attitude. I don't even know what you look like, and I would be put off by your constant guilt/blame culture.

Your 40's, well,you are a pretty lady (if that your picture). what are you ladies talking about? The fact are: aspie women can get a man to go out with her alot more than aspie man can. Plus how would like it if you had the perfect partner like I did and they leaves you, that doesn't feel good.

since, I've been trying to find a another woman but no luck so far. You aspie ladies (and some aspie men) find your partner and they love you and stay with you but mine leaves me. Its bs. I hear ''oh, my boyfriend loves me and want to stay with me''.
and yet, there my gf goes right out the door. ( I hate that I was an idiot back then and should had really doing better back then).
it is tough.

some guys never get a date but some guys like me find a girlfriend but we just screw it up and regret it.

The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

18 Nov 2012, 2:49 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

unduki wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

MXH wrote:

unduki wrote:

Kurgan wrote:

unduki wrote:

It's Nature. Natural selection.

...and up until just recently, Men have been making all the rules.

I think all the bitterness toward women from men who maybe feel inadequate in this area is interesting. As a woman who has always felt clueless about the dating scene, I feel a lot of it is unwarranted judgement of all womankind and outright fallacy.

Men and women are human. We make mistakes, misunderstand, have different agendas. It doesn't all have to be sinister with aforethought. It just is.

The universe is not obligated to provide anyone with a mate.

Actually, in ALL mammals, the female initiates the mating in 80% of all cases. Men doing all the work in dating is a fairly "recent" phenomenon, given that modern humans have existed for 200,000 years.

In humans, wouldn't you consider, makeup, high heels, push up bras and low cut jeans an initiation? Sheesh! All the crap and discomfort women put themselves through just to entice a male is astounding. Personally, I think it cheapens us, but it's hard to argue with results.

I have a some guy friends that I occasionally meet for a morning game of basketball and lunch afterwards. 2 of them are on the spectrum. I've seen these guys get hit on several times by attractive women but they simply didn't see it. I've tried to clue them in but it's impossible. They have to be focused on the girl before she sends the signals or they'll miss it. They're timing is rarely the required perfect.

I honestly think a go-between would be your best bet. Get an NT friend to go talk to women for you because you can't do it yourself. Oh, gee. That sounds like the plot for a good play. Better yet, get some gay friends. They can help you and won't steal your girl.

I dont consider it any more initiation than all the things men do to make themselves look good. You know, shaving, hopelessly going through "trendy" clothing stores you hate, working out, getting the right colone, etc.

Yes, and guys often take nasty stuff to build muscles and look fit - something that girls don't usually do in gyms.

Wow, you could come up with a whole petty list. That will surely make you more attractive to the ladies.

Explain.

Can anyone else explains to me the sarcasm behind this post?

LKL
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 21 Jul 2007
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,402

18 Nov 2012, 2:51 pm

aspiesandra27 wrote:

Kurgan, I like skinny, geeky and lanky. Always did.

Those gym worshippers you mention? They do nothing for me. So stop generalising, please.

Seconded. I personally prefer a more average build over tall and lanky, but my immediate impression of a guy who clearly spends hours in a gym every week is "gay, and/or boring."

A lot of the dressing up that women do is actually for status amongst other women, and a lot of the working out that men do is actually for status amongst other men.

aspiesandra27
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Nov 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 825
Location: london

18 Nov 2012, 2:55 pm

Of course it's my picture and it was taken this month! Why would I use a picture of someone else? I get told I am pretty quite often lately, and although I am grateful for the kind comments, it hasn't made my life any easier. I've had jerks take advantage because my social skills were so bad, I couldn't tell that they just wanted "you know what".

I *do* know what it's like to feel rejected, and you just assume because of my gender, or my looks, that my life hasn't been a hard and constant struggle. Just judge people individually, and not as a rule.

unduki
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 21 Oct 2011
Age: 66
Gender: Female
Posts: 652

18 Nov 2012, 2:56 pm

Kurgan wrote:

unduki wrote:

...and women get boob jobs. Whatever. It's not a contest. There are no winners here.

_________________
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain.

aspiesandra27
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Nov 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 825
Location: london

18 Nov 2012, 3:00 pm

LKL, spot on with the "gay" and "boring" :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

LKL
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 21 Jul 2007
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,402

18 Nov 2012, 3:00 pm

There's at least one remarkably handsome young man who has posted on this forum in the past; had someone with his looks asked me out when I was in high school, I would have had to re-solidify from being a puddle on the floor before I said 'yes.' He seems like a nice person, too. But he posts here because he's lonely and feels like he doesn't know how to get a date. Humans are not peacocks. We - especially NTs - look for more than appearance, even if we're not aware of doing so.

BlueMax
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 27 Aug 2007
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,285

18 Nov 2012, 3:06 pm

^^^ All too true - which is why it seems the most UGLY men always seem to have some girl hanging off the side of him... It's gotta' be that whole alpha/confidence/testosterone/popularity thing...

Attractiveness seems to matter a little more for you gals... men are initially attracted to "pretty" - women are attracted to more than that.

The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

18 Nov 2012, 3:07 pm

LKL wrote:

aspiesandra27 wrote:

Kurgan, I like skinny, geeky and lanky. Always did.

Those gym worshippers you mention? They do nothing for me. So stop generalising, please.

But even getting in shape and being at least toned require a hard work.

Besides, the majority of women prefer toned guys, the before-last girl I've dated recently (who did appear far from shallow at first) told me that six-packs is one of the "fitness and beauty standards" for men and she hinted that those who aren't getting it are doing something wrong or being lazy lol. After showing her the scientific reasoning why the whole six-packs thing is just a fitness hype and usually far from unhealthy (any fat rate under 10% in that area is unhealthy - humans aren't supposed to have a such low fat there), she got convinced! (well she's a nurse so she should know better how unhealthy it is).

My point is, that not only women have to do the grooming thing, men do have a lot of grooming too and usually they get less help to optimize it.

The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

18 Nov 2012, 3:08 pm

BlueMax wrote:

I saw UGLY and FAT girls with boyfriends and admirers. It's more than looks for both genders.

aspiesandra27
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Nov 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 825
Location: london

18 Nov 2012, 3:12 pm

Seriously, The Face of Boo, I hate that type. The personality would have to excel if I were to even let myself be approached romantically by someone with pecs.

I like people who don't have to try too hard to be anything. Being themselves is enough.

BlueMax
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 27 Aug 2007
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,285

18 Nov 2012, 3:13 pm

^^^ One woman I worked with was both very heavy (had relatively nice skin at least) but was MEAN! I mean, harsh, nasty and bullying... yet one day she started parading her new boyfriend around the office by the hand.

...it makes me wonder if he's just riding on her coattails since she was promoted to a manager position and she could elevate him to that level as well (she did.)

Page 23 of 31 [ 490 posts ] Go to page Previous 1 ... 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26 ... 31 Next

Jump to:

What is the main reason why guys have to do the approaching? Post Reply New Topic

What is the main reason why guys have to do the approaching?