Online dating is pointless as a guy

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Its just been my experiences their most common advice is "learn to be happy being on your own" when they rarely had to try, they were just naturally the type of person who is content being alone. Some arent so lucky.

They assume its as easy for others as it is for them.

Its not bad advice but its also not applicable to everyones life.

Good idea. I should try that.

I always shook my head whenever I would read a woman's profile whining about how all men are jerks, why are there no decent men on these sites, blah blah blah. I would usually (foolishly) write them a quick, friendly hello and without fail, would not only get ignored but would also see them update their profiles indicating that not one decent man had contacted them. I was stupid enough to date one of these types of women who at 22 had more ex's than a tic tac toe tournament. If I had my time back, I should have trolled them and said "did you ever think for a second that maybe, just maybe the problem is you and your unrealistic expectations?"

I couldn't stop laughing when my ex randomly texted me about how she was too good for someone like me. She was overweight (and gained a ton of weight after I left her), had no job, no license, was not in school, had no ambition and was supported by a trust fund. Only someone who used an online dating site could say such a delusional thing.

And are you happy? You sure do take a lot of interest in this subject. If you don't have a partner and you're not looking for one, what draws you to these threads?

Why would they join online dating sites or write in "love and dating" subforum?

HAHA I actually cut this line from my original message. I have no doubt she tells everyone how horrible I am for:

Breaking up via text/email (after she threw a violent temper the first two times I tried to do it privately and never apologized: I once actually debated slipping a gas station clerk a note to call 911 and stop my car)
Dumping her stuff in her parent's driveway (after she refused to take it back or arrange to have it picked up),
Throwing her out of my apartment (after she nearly got me evicted)
Yelling at her repeatedly and even threatening her (guilty, but nearly every sane person would have eventually done the same. Never mind how she used to throw stuff all the time.)
How 'greedy' I was for demanding monetary compensation after a few months (never mind she lived 40+km away)
Other adult stuff (where she was the 'aggressor', not me.)

I saw her brother and father at a hockey game last year (I swear I really do other activities!!) and made sure not to be anywhere alone around them as no doubt they think I am a complete monster. I will also never forget this summer I was walking with my wife and spotted her on my street. I quickly jumped into my car like a sniper was after me. My wife commented "you are being ridiculous" to which I replied "spoken by a sane, normal, healthy woman". She cyber-stalked her for a couple of YEARS after the breakup and I wouldn't put anything past her. Turns out she probably doesn't know I live there and is dating someone a couple of streets over. I have to resist saying to the new guy (who looks quite normal) ""hey, call me if you need to be bailed out of jail". Poor guy has no idea what he is in for once she 'splits' on him.

In short, she would NEVER get a date from a 'normal' man if she didn't go online with their skewed gender ratios. I still shake my head at women with inflated egos demanding the world and offering almost nothing in return... and men still continue to date them.

My heart goes out to anyone who is struggling with loneliness. It is something which is not discussed enough, including the impact it has on ones mental health. Whenever I read a therapy book it is mostly about sadness and fear or depression and anxiety. Very seldom is loneliness given the weight it deserves and the suffering caused by it.

Yikes. That’s tricky, thank god you are out of it. Sounds like a basket case.

Does sound like he is better out of it.

There are women out there that give the rest of us a bad name, just as there are men out there that give the rest of them a bad name.

Yikes. That’s tricky, thank god you are out of it. Sounds like a basket case.

she called about 20 times and texted me 60 times in an hour! I was so naïve I actually thought this was somewhat normal female behavior!!

Imagine if I had to get her pregnant! At least most crazy women have an income, this one still doesn't have a job to this day although I think she finally graduated College after 7 tries. I think this is a perfect example of no matter how lonely you are, any decision made based on fear (in this case, fear of being undateable and fear of never finding anyone else) is one you are going to regret.

My wife was upset about something recently and told me how she doesn't want to be clingy or needy. I had to restrain from laughing and saying "you have NO IDEA what I had to put up with before!" Crazy literally was sick every single week and if I managed to get off the phone in 30 minutes or less without her crying it was a miracle. At one point I had enough and turned off my phone: she called about 20 times and texted me 60 times in an hour! I was so naïve I actually thought this was somewhat normal female behavior!!

I once talked with her last 'employer' who used to call her as an emergency fill in (after we broke up). She told me how they ignore her calls now and then laughed and told me "I'm surprised she hasn't keyed your car yet". I replied "so, that's where that scratch came from."

I guess the point I am trying to make is that online dating might be miserable when you don't get any replies, but it can get FAR more miserable when you get responses and dates from messed up people. What an idiot I was but at least I can come here to WP and share my experience hoping nobody goes through the same thing I did: we aspies are like sitting ducks thanks to our naivety and inexperience.

It is not??
/shocked.

Yes, be careful what you wish for because you may just get it.

My wife rarely calls and never texts me and my last relationship was also with someone who probably considered me needy... and I texted or called an average of once a day.


Precisely. If I wasn't "desperate" (hate that word) for a girlfriend I would not have explained away her odd behavior as a weird anomaly that was somehow my fault and would have thrown her number out the first time she had an outburst on date #3. I am certain behind my back everyone was thinking "what does he see in her?"