Why are women so desperate for men?

Page 23 of 26 [ 408 posts ] Go to page Previous 1 ... 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26 Next

Previous topic | Next topic

hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,748
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

13 Nov 2017, 3:40 am

314pe wrote:

hurtloam wrote:

Apparently a study says women are happier being single than men

I agree that women are really (way) less happy in relationships than men, but I don't think that 'doing more chores' is the complete answer here. My wife does less work than I do, but still she is (way) less happy.

The article mentions emotional labour as well.

314pe
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 7 Sep 2014
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,013

13 Nov 2017, 3:45 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:

314pe wrote:

hurtloam wrote:

Apparently a study says women are happier being single than men

Doing less chores? Is this for dual income couples or single income couples? If both work full time they should take an equal share of the chores. But if one works and one doesn't then I wouldn't recommend they split the chores equally. Instead the one who doesn't work should take the lionshare of the chores.

I've remembered typical scenario how it happens:
1) Wife asks husband to do a chore, which she normally does herself.
2) Husband is happy to help and completes this chore his preferred (usually not the most efficient, sometimes embarrassingly) way.
3) Wife checks the result and tells about it to her husband.
Result: Next time wife will be doing it herself and she will be annoyed that husband doesn't help. Husband is annoyed that his effort is not appreciated.

314pe
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 7 Sep 2014
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,013

13 Nov 2017, 3:50 am

hurtloam wrote:

The article mentions emotional labour as well.

You mean that men invest less and women more emotionally in a relationship? Could you elaborate more what do you think about this?

The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

13 Nov 2017, 3:55 am

hurtloam wrote:

Apparently a study says women are happier being single than men

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/11/11/women-prefer-single-relationships-hard-work/

Gotta say, the older I get the less appealing a relationship is. Especially as I know people in relationships who are unhappy. I'd rather be free and single. I'm past that being curious stage and I don't care now. No one has ever wanted me, I'm sick of being judged as not good enough. I'm going my own way.

My theory is because women are way pickier then they realize that the man they picked is no longer perfect in their eyes.

Closet Genious
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 12 Jan 2017
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,225
Location: Sweden

13 Nov 2017, 4:17 am

All the resarch I've seen, shows that women have a way harder time with monogamy. So that would explain why women are less happy in relationships.

hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,748
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

13 Nov 2017, 4:30 am

314pe wrote:

hurtloam wrote:

The article mentions emotional labour as well.

You mean that men invest less and women more emotionally in a relationship? Could you elaborate more what do you think about this?

My respective from what I've seen of unhappy couples I know is the woman feels like she's always the one sorting everything out and gets no support.

She's the one who keeps the wheels greased and things moving. She has to remind him to pay that bill, cut that hedge before we can't get through the gate anymore, remember your lunch, get a haircut, please wash that t-shirt it smells you can't wear it again, you need to wipe the gunk out from around the taps not just wipe the sink ... these women replace Mum's they're not wives they're surrogate mothers.

Same with emotional things they care for how the children feel if they're getting bullied, they patch up broader family issues, remind x they should phone y because Grandma died and they actually do want some comfort and would like to hear your voice, yes it would be good if you went to your nieces wedding.

They get tired and stressed with it all and feel like no one is there to support them emotionally. They feel like they're always giving out, managing things, not getting any relief.

Last edited by hurtloam on 13 Nov 2017, 4:33 am, edited 1 time in total.

hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,748
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

13 Nov 2017, 4:32 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

hurtloam wrote:

My theory is because women are way pickier then they realize that the man they picked is no longer perfect in their eyes.

Or that they can't change him. He was never perfect. They just thought they could change him. I do not know why women think this, but they often do think they can change a man.

314pe
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 7 Sep 2014
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,013

13 Nov 2017, 4:42 am

hurtloam wrote:

Or that they can't change him. He was never perfect. They just thought they could change him. I do not know why women think this, but they often do think they can change a man.

Women are unhappy in marriage because they try to change a man and fail.
Men are unhappy in marriage because a woman changes after getting married.

The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

13 Nov 2017, 4:46 am

hurtloam wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

hurtloam wrote:

My theory is because women are way pickier then they realize that the man they picked is no longer perfect in their eyes.

Or that they can't change him. He was never perfect. They just thought they could change him. I do not know why women think this, but they often do think they can change a man.

Hence 'no longer perfect in their eyes'.

Women.....

magz
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 1 Jun 2017
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 16,283
Location: Poland

13 Nov 2017, 4:54 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

My theory is because women are way pickier then they realize that the man they picked is no longer perfect in their eyes.

Kind of agree with the part that women are pickier. And being picky simply means being happier with no choice at all than with a choice that doesn't satistfy you. Like picky eaters would rather miss a meal than have something they don't like.
But still being picky does not mean looking for perfection and total lack of tolerance. It is just being picky.

Closet Genious wrote:

All the resarch I've seen, shows that women have a way harder time with monogamy. So that would explain why women are less happy in relationships.

I don't know this research. Can you link some? I only read that main reasons for infidelity differ.

For the emotional labour - yes, in our culture maintaining the emotional side of relationships is on women. We are expected to express the emotions (men are expected to supress them) and we are expected to make the good atmosphere, be caring and act on it. Where I live, women are also in charge for maintaining family links. Men are not expected to even be aware of all the emotional subtleties to deal with.
My husband made laugh that there is some magical process that changes dirty socks on the floor into clean socks in a drawer. Of course, he was perfectly aware what is behind this "magic", even takes part in the process. But there are other magical processes that are not so obvious, mostly about seeing one's needs, making one happy and relaxed. Yes, it is a chore, especially hard for Aspie women.

_________________
Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.

<not moderating PPR stuff concerning East Europe>

hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,748
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

13 Nov 2017, 4:59 am

magz wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

My theory is because women are way pickier then they realize that the man they picked is no longer perfect in their eyes.

I like that analogy.

The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

13 Nov 2017, 6:12 am

Quote:

All the resarch I've seen, shows that women have a way harder time with monogamy. So that would explain why women are less happy in relationships.

isn't it the opposite? polygamy isn't very advantageous for females; an egg can only be fertilized by one male at a time.

Closet Genious
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 12 Jan 2017
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,225
Location: Sweden

13 Nov 2017, 6:27 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Quote:

All the resarch I've seen, shows that women have a way harder time with monogamy. So that would explain why women are less happy in relationships.

isn't it the opposite? polygamy isn't very advantageous for females; an egg can only be fertilized by one male at a time.

That's the conventional train of thought. But new studies show women respond more to novelty than men do.

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2013/05/23/nytimes_on_lybrido_women_get_bored_with_monogamy_faster_than_men.html

Closet Genious
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 12 Jan 2017
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,225
Location: Sweden

13 Nov 2017, 6:29 am

When you think about it, it's congruent with the fact that most divorces are initiated by women, and that depression and suicide is much more common in men after a divorce.

The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

13 Nov 2017, 6:36 am

Closet Genious wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Quote:

All the resarch I've seen, shows that women have a way harder time with monogamy. So that would explain why women are less happy in relationships.

isn't it the opposite? polygamy isn't very advantageous for females; an egg can only be fertilized by one male at a time.

I didn't like her "booohoo now it's suddenly a problem now" tone at the very end of the article.

The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

13 Nov 2017, 6:42 am

But honestly, it's me who 'struggle' more with monogamy, for example I like the idea of 2F1M threesome but my gf hates to share.

Page 23 of 26 [ 408 posts ] Go to page Previous 1 ... 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26 Next

Jump to:

Why are women so desperate for men? Post Reply New Topic

Why are women so desperate for men?