What is the main reason why guys have to do the approaching?

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The social dyslexia just manifest itself differently for girls and boys with asperger.

I also think there has to be a distinction of NT traits and Aspie traits.

So boys have a harder time to get anything at all but girls have a hard time getting emotional reciprocity?

Anyway let's find strategies to deal with the facts.

I kind of take it as guys have a harder time getting anything at all, while girls have an easier time getting both the good and the bad.

That is, yes there are advantages to the female role. Yes, there are things that men have to deal with that, when it comes to meeting people, women don't. But there are disadvantages as well. Things women have to deal with that men don't.

It balances out. Or, even if it doesn't, it's not really possible to say who has it worse so we may as well just call it even.

The example that keeps coming up is that lots more of the unsuccessful women seem to have had at least one or two relationships in their past. Thing is, there's no recognition of the fact that those relationships may have only served to make her life worse.

Think of it like driving a car. The unsuccessful man's car is stuck in park, he's getting nothing, no movement at all, while the unsuccessful woman's car keeps shifting back and forth between first and reverse. It's easy for the guy to sit there and say "at least she's moving" but, at the end of the day, neither has gone anywhere.

Did I just use a transmission as a metaphor for relationships? Yes I did. Goddamn I'm manly.

it all balances out based on the resulting personality of the person in question.

take someone who had crap their whole childhood, they have the ability to probably enjoy the little things.
then look at someone who had silver spoons for everything possible, and end up being unable to please no matter how hard someone tries.

while so many are in pain now, they have the ability to be happier than most if they get whats important to them.

theres a simple rule in life, the harder you had to work to get it, the more it will mean to you. so i say keep working hard.

Last edited by ManicDan on 19 Nov 2012, 1:21 am, edited 1 time in total.

If you are a lonely unattractive man with nothing to offer anyone just become an alcoholic or a drug addict to help numb the pain of eternal loneliness and total despair. When you have nothing to offer and you are male, there is absolutely no point in trying at all. Living a life of denial is much more difficult than accepting cold hard reality.

There is someone for everyone is total nonsense and a huge lie. There is not someone for everyone, there are many people who never find anyone. We are judged mainly on how we look and how much we have in terms of material wealth.

Let's continue the car analogy,

At least the woman's car has started. She's managed to turn the ignition and pow! power and the engine grumbles into life. It works! Other parts of the car come to life, heating, radio etc...she knows the car works but needs fixing...whereas for the guy, who can't even get started, where is the problem? Ignition? Engine? Key? A car that doesn't work is at best worth scrap.

Life was so much better for males before the Feminist revolution nonsense of the second half of the 20th century emerged. Arranged marriages and a male could take more risks when approaching females. Nowadays arranged marriages are a thing of the past and males can be easily accused of rape or sexual harassment without any evidence at all.

Modern Females empowered by feminist man hating laws and propaganda have become more powerful within society as men have become irrelevant.

if it wasnt for how hateful this post is you might actually have gotten somewhere.

Yeah. It really was. Thing is, I (and most men) don't mind giving up the enormous advantage I would have had in the past, so that everyone else gets an equal chance to build the kind of life they want.

I understand what you're saying. But people's minds just don't work that way. The only thing either person ends up thinking is "Something is wrong with my car (me). My car is (I am) broken."

I undertand that the guys who are making these complaints aren't in a position to see this for themselves. But I've learned from experience that having a bad relationship or two under your belt does not lessen the feeling of loneliness, nor does it lessen the feeling that there is something wrong with you.

Bad past relationships are not the comfort that some seem to think they are.

MXH thanks for explaining it like that. But that's not how it came across when he said it.

The majority of those complaining here have not made any serious effort.

For all the crap that some guys on here keep spewing - they conveniently forget that I had to go on over 75+ first dates in order to get anywhere in my dating life (which resulted in 2 boyfriends - now actually consider that ratio) - otherwise I wouldn;t have any dating experience. (loooooooong story, don't ask - it's not what you think)
I don't see them getting serious and making an effort to do that kind of thing - they seem to think that going on 6 dates or asking out 12 women is enough, and they expect to have a girlfriend - it doesn't happen like that.

Women have to make an effort too you know.

Bad/poor relationships are just as bad as no relationships at all? Some males may never know anything about being in a relationship because we have absolutely nothing to offer anyone regardless if we are straight or gay. Being an Aspie male you probably have the double whammy of being socially inept and physically unattractive.

Oh dear, this isn't another one of those "all women should be our slaves" type speeches, This guy is living in the 18th century.

75+ dates for two actual relationships?

Wow.

I didn't realize there was anyone out there worse at it than me.

Men heavily out number women, proven fact in most countries around the world. Women have life literally handed to them on a silver platter. One female on here had like 75+ first dates most Aspie males probably never get even 5 first dates in their life. Women can afford to be fussy when it comes to dating and choosing partners. Average males who are not wealthy or good looking have to wait for their lucky ducks to line up in a row. Aspie males are usually hit with the double whammy: socially inept and physically unattractive.

A past history of social failures is usually an indicator of future failure. Social awkwardness, fear, lack of confidence and low self esteem that often comes with Aspergers/social anxiety is easy for others to pick up on.

Last edited by steviewonderau on 19 Nov 2012, 2:57 am, edited 1 time in total.

^^^
Hey that took 2 years of work - and I was being anything but fussy.
And I although they approached, I asked for half of the dates.
50% of that was online, the other 50% off.

Mds:
Why do you sound surprised for that? I'm probably worse on the scale of aspieness than you are.
I'm yonger than you.
It took me a long time to learn the rules since I had nobody to teach me - I had to learn the hard way.

Last edited by Kjas on 19 Nov 2012, 2:58 am, edited 2 times in total.