The UCSB shooter--an Aspie with a rant against women

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This whole post misses the point.

I don't want anyone to die lonely and in the fetal sifting in a pool of their own inebriated vomit. It's a terrible fate for anyone. To suggest that anyone would desire that for someone else is disturbing.

I think he was a miserable prick, which I assume we agree on. It makes me feel so disgusted to think that there are people who will have a mental picture of his smug grin when someone mentions "autism" or "Asperger's". I don't want to be associated with him, nor do I want that for the fellow WP posters who also have those diagnoses.

What I think Starving Artist and others are saying is that by feeling that you "deserve to be with a woman" is by extension, entitlement. I hope everyone here finds someone that they are happy with. However, no one is entitled to have a partner.

No one says "I deserve to have a puppy" or "I deserve to have a house". For some reason, people think they deserve having a partner, which is not the case. No one deserves another person.

I'm not saying it's solely a male issue; both sexes do feel entitled to certain things. So, please don't feel like I'm trying to antagonize men in general. The last sentences of your post are egregious generalizations, though.

I hate and despise being told to "Man Up, be a Man, grow a pair" all the damn time

Lucky then that that's not what Agrestic said.

Would these be the imaginary feminists you dream up at the bus stop? Because they resemble no feminists I've ever met, including myself.

I think we've had this conversation seventy bazillion times in the last few months, but yes, women ask men out. It happens every day of the week, every hour of the day. If you're not being asked out, it's because no specific woman is interested in asking you, not because she's signed some Oath of Womanhood forcing you to supplicate miserably at her feet.

I think just about every woman who posts here regularly has now been more than giving in sharing "I ask men out" stories. Nothing rare about it.

Does anybody know if he was on psychiatric drugs? Given that a lot of people with ASD are medicated as kids, it's worth considering.

I've heard some pretty messed up statements while driving sober-cab for NT acquaintances (both genders), and would be inclined to cut a person more slack if they've been forcibly under the influence of nastier stuff since childhood.

Last edited by NobodyKnows on 28 Jul 2014, 10:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

yes but it is nowhere near as common as it is for men to do so

We've had this conversation, too. If men are more anxious to find partners than women are, or if men feel more pressure from other men to couple up than women feel from women, or insist on viewing as a competition involving wins and odds, then yes, men will do more asking. Don't blame women if they're less anxious to hook up or play those sorts of games. Let me ask you, how many women have you asked out in the last six months?

Why do you keep advancing this pet theory about men having more social pressure to date (as if it is true) when you have absolutely no evidence to support it? If you can find me one valid study that shows men have more social pressure to date then I will shut up.

There's a conditional conjunction in there. I bet you can find it.

You know, I haven't met a girl or woman in the last three decades who's got a problem with asking boys/men out, and I get out a lot. Even way back before most of the people on this board were born, it was regarded as stupid to try to get a guy to ask you to something special instead of just going and asking yourself, if you wanted to go with him. Do I believe that men do *more* of the asking? Yes. But not because women are sitting there being coy and waiting. So then you have to ask: why are the guys asking doing so much more asking? If both men and women are comfortable asking, then men just must want it more. Why? I don't really buy the horniness answer; women are horny, too.

Two of the frequent responses here have been "lonely" and "everyone else has a relationship". Are men more prone to envy and loneliness? Loneliness, the answer is objectively yes, research-supported: women have much denser and stronger social networks, in general, than men do. It's not unusual among NT men for their wives to be their only friends. So? Maybe this means men are looking to women to save them in a general sense: not just be a romantic partner, but provide them with a social life, social connection, respite from themselves. Dunno. But there's got to be some reason, or combination of reasons, why men are doing more of the asking when women are quite comfortable asking men out -- if they want to.

The ones on youtube and tumblr. They hate men, they don't really know why, but they know hating men is the righteous thing to do, especially if they can be described as "white" men. Many people described Elliot as a white male misogynist and he's not even really white.

Luckily I never met one of these people in real life but just listen to their insane rants on youtube going on and on about how men are victimising them. Meanwhile in reality they are making money off this whole charade and no one is victimising them. But they can always point to people like Elliot and say "look I'm right" when the reality of the situation is that 40 years of feminism has created men like Elliot by not letting them grow up as men with male teachers and so forth.

Almost all teachers are women and now female students outnumber male students in colleges all over the western world. Can you think why this is or will you never make the connection?

oh and FYI denial of education to men counts as.... drum roll

Real Discrimination.

yep, that's pretty much what I thought.



Right, it has nothing to do with the fact that K12 teaching's a low-status, low-to-mediocre-pay, massively rulebound, grueling career, the kind a large chunk of entrants abandon within five years. Men flock to careers like that. Do you seriously think that colleges of ed don't try to recruit men? (Do you know anything at all about colleges of ed?) And can you see yourself managing a room full of kindergarteners for 180 days each year while meeting academic testing standards, keeping parents, the board, and administrators happy, and abiding by IEPs, being nice all day long despite the screaming and kid-chaos? Would you do it for $45K and not much opportunity for advancement? How about 7th-graders -- want to try that? There is no amount of money you could pay me to do that work. Most of the people willing to do it are women.



K12 teachers are generally women because the jobs are low-status and unattractive. Tenured and tenure-track university professors are primarily men despite the fact that tens of thousands women have been earning nice PhDs each year for decades now. The jobs are much better paid and much higher-status, and they don't have to deal with IEPs and the Common Core. Or school boards. Or much of anyone, really, once they're tenured. They teach three courses a year, maybe, and often they've got graders to help them, and they aren't responsible for disciplining students who're there under duress. Unlike public schoolteachers, they can kick students out if they're real trouble.

My department's regarded as a regular estrogenfest with nearly 1/3 of the faculty women. You should do research before spouting talking-point hatred.

Universities are delighted to take the money of anyone who'll show up, by the way. At this point many of them are desperate for it, and their recruiting efforts get more elaborate every year. They do not care if you're some hitherto undiscovered fourth sex so long as your tuition checks clear. If men are outnumbered, it's not because they're unwelcome.

Is this some redpill trope I've missed, btw? Legions of evil fee-mayle teachers crushing the souls of boy students, putting cigarettes out in their tender hearts? This is the third time I've seen this in the last three days, though the first two I wondered if the commenters had been molested or something.

(I don't know who these guys think was doing the teaching pre-Friedan, btw. Teaching was one of almost no professions open to women. Your teacher, in 1953, was almost certainly a Missus, and if anything the gender rigidity made being a male schoolteacher more difficult and suspect. Principal, another story. Here, enjoy some stats: http://nces.ed.gov/pubs93/93442.pdf, page 29. You were much more likely to have a male schoolteacher post-women's lib than before, though men left the profession in the '80s as the money got better elsewhere. Even so, the proportion of men in K12 teaching is up over pre-Friedan days. You have to go back to frontier times to find higher ratios of men in K12 teaching.)

You are trying to convince us of this out of mere anecdote, and I don't trust anecdotes. If you produce some actual statistics instead of anecdotes then I'd be happy to take a look at them. The fact of the matter is though, is that it's culturally expected for men to ask the women out and not the other way round, regardless of how many women that you have been in contact with who have done the asking. If you look around on-line, there's even a dating guide for women called "The Rules" that actually advises women to wait for men to ask them out and not the other way round (which is horrible advice though, but it's there). That is traditional dating.

Hey Tarantella, since you have absolutely no statistics to back up your claims, I've found some for you. Though I could not find the study on the internet, according to a study (Mills, Janiszewska & Zabala, 2011) which surveyed college students, it appears that only 6% of women ask men out on first dates, while 83% of men ask women out on first dates. The results of that survey are illustrated in these histograms. The first histogram is the most revealing as it shows that the vast majority women prefer to be asked out as opposed to asking someone out and the reverse is true for men:







From the blog post of the professor who did the survey with his students. I don't buy his possible explanation from evolutionary psychology though, I think it's cultural but the results still speak for themselves. The women that you say ask men out, make up only 6% of all women:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-how-and-why-sex-differences/201104/why-dont-women-ask-men-out-first-dates