02 Jul 2020, 2:38 pm
LunaticCentruroides wrote:
What the heck.. this could literally be me writing LOL
My internal sense of gender is pretty much not there.. I (think I) see the gender in other people, but not necessarily in myself. Like, I feel great with myself and my body as a woman and I enjoy being feminine, but I’m definitely not always feminine in the way I think. I identify more with men than with women. If I look up to someone, or if I wanna be like someone, it’s usually a male. I always tend to compete with men over things, even if I don’t realize that it’s not always even possible(in sports for example). But I’m very feminine in other parts of my life. I still think I’m sexually strongly attracted to men.
I don’t feel like I have a sense for age either. The same for other people. I don’t see their age as I’m supposed to do. There’s also that missing piece in my brain that makes me not understanding the principle of hierarchy or authority. Absolutely NON EXISTENT.
“Where I am complex, most people are simple. Where I am simple, most people are complex.”
Damn.. I kept saying that all the time.
We have the same "make, model and year of brain with the same options". Our differing genders and age does not change that. I am pretty sure you are even the subtype within our type that I am: EC+U+ we don't have hierarchical processing at all. You would be the first of the subtype I have met
Very nice to make your acquaintance!Oh... and I am masculine but in our sense which is really different.
02 Jul 2020, 5:58 pm
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Pepe wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
LunaticCentruroides wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
So, wanna be friends? 
sure
I don't get it?
Are you saying there is only one sausage to share around?
I don't use mine,
But I still have it.
That has got to be at least 2, right?
That how I imagined LC dealing with any guy who’s attempting to be “friends” with her.
It was a warning code for funeralempire.
Hahah
I correct: That how I imagined LC dealing with any guy who’s attempting to be more than “friends” with her
02 Jul 2020, 6:58 pm
LunaticCentruroides wrote:
I don’t feel like I have a sense for age either. The same for other people. I don’t see their age as I’m supposed to do. There’s also that missing piece in my brain that makes me not understanding the principle of hierarchy or authority. Absolutely NON EXISTENT.
Same for me. Don't get this at all even that I know that NTs care a lot.
_________________
I am as I am.
Life has to be an adventure!02 Jul 2020, 7:27 pm
envirozentinel wrote:
^you never pee?
even to mark your territory?
one is seldom good enough for my liking...
even to mark your territory?
one is seldom good enough for my liking...
I was using a "Reproductive" context.
I don't use my "Dickie Boy" to attempt reproduction.
Why would I want to?
Don't be disgusting.
02 Jul 2020, 7:57 pm
LunaticCentruroides wrote:
Enjoying attention might be a bit of a burden/curse for us. It just feels like, as if I have to force myself to take a step back in being sociable, even if I learned to open up and being nice in order to make connections.I don’t understand humans sometimes.
We are the same here.
I have no trouble looking into people's eyes, as I have mentioned elsewhere,
I have had to train myself to NOT look at people.
For me, it isn't a question of wanting to make a connection/friendship/relationship,
It is more an exercise of information gathering.
Being civil/polite is simply part of the common sense "Transaction".
LunaticCentruroides wrote:
How can you handle it to not look people in the eyes? Sometimes I’m way too curious to not do this. By looking someone in the eyes I can see their thoughts, feelings, their truth and their soul. The eyes is a great tool. It makes people vulnerable to me.
Sometimes I’m way too curious to not do this. By looking someone in the eyes I can see their thoughts, feelings, their truth and their soul. The eyes is a great tool. It makes people vulnerable to me.That is how I see it.
We are very unusual here.
Based on what I have observed, over the decades, it is much more "Typical" for those on the spectrum to want to avoid eye contact.
LunaticCentruroides wrote:
But I think there are different ways to look someone in the eyes. Sometimes Many (apparently) NT’s make the impression, of not understanding how a human works or having less understanding about humans instinct than I do. They interpret meaningless behavior as something meaningful. It’s ridiculous.
But that's just concerning the majority of the human being I’ve been dealing with. Despite that, I've met some very interesting people on my path of life.
But that's just concerning the majority of the human being I’ve been dealing with. Despite that, I've met some very interesting people on my path of life.
I have had the same "Problem" all my life.
People misconstrue my intentions because of their NT mindset.
Just recently I had a blood test done.
The young female "nurse" instigated "Chit Chat" to take my mind off the procedure.
I naturally reciprocated.
The next thing I know, she was telling me about her husband to indicate she wasn't available.
I am used to this and find it amusing, rather than annoying, these days.
LunaticCentruroides wrote:
Well, what you describe was always a bit of a dilemma for me. There was a time, I was questioning myself of having ASD or not. Meanwhile I’m sure I’m having it. The psychiatrist that made my diagnose 11 years ago said, I’d be unusual developed for someone with AS. So I assume these days, that my ability to learn, understand AND handle human behavior is superior. Perhaps yours as well?
Autism is a spectrum.
Some of our abilities/characteristics are on the edge of the autistic "Bell Curve", and some are in the bulk of the curve.
What seems to be happening to me, and possibly you, is that we create what I call "Intellectual Bridges" which overcomes our lack of NT type intuition.
E.G.
I am very good at decoding body language,
Something that many on the spectrum have difficulty with.
Granted, people usually get better with age/experience.
02 Jul 2020, 8:18 pm
LunaticCentruroides wrote:
I don’t feel like I have a sense for age either. The same for other people. I don’t see their age as I’m supposed to do. There’s also that missing piece in my brain that makes me not understanding the principle of hierarchy or authority. Absolutely NON EXISTENT.
This very unusual.
It defies the evolutionary imperative.
LunaticCentruroides wrote:
“Where I am complex, most people are simple. Where I am simple, most people are complex.”
Damn.. I kept saying that all the time.
Damn.. I kept saying that all the time.
I suspect, for a lot of aspies, this is the case for them, also.
02 Jul 2020, 8:22 pm
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Pepe wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
LunaticCentruroides wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
So, wanna be friends?
sure
I don't get it?
Are you saying there is only one sausage to share around?
I don't use mine,
But I still have it.
That has got to be at least 2, right?
That how I imagined LC dealing with any guy who’s attempting to be “friends” with her.
It was a warning code for funeralempire.
02 Jul 2020, 8:23 pm
02 Jul 2020, 10:10 pm
02 Jul 2020, 11:18 pm
03 Jul 2020, 6:28 pm
Chain wrote:
We love connections, don't we?, lol!
Ohh hell yeah
Interesting what you are writing here… I like the way you describe some phenomena.
But wouldn’t you say the NT’s are the ones that seem to have more of an “animal” (mainly) in social settings? Even if I see it the way you see it... if I think about it. But we as Aspies, still seem to be the ones being rational, that notice every detail in social interaction, which we process through analyzing? I’m still trying to explore my own brain a lot. It’s so contradicting.
When I was younger(and sometimes it still happens) looking someone straight in the eyes that looks into my eyes back, is like looking into the sun. It’s bright and hurtful, as if there’s information coming in, which you don’t want to have in your system. But meanwhile it seems to be the opposite. People can’t keep up with me, looking at them.
My spirit animal is a Dolphin by the way
Chain wrote:
LunaticCentruroides wrote:
Well, what you describe was always a bit of a dilemma for me. There was a time, I was questioning myself of having ASD or not. Meanwhile I’m sure I’m having it. The psychiatrist that made my diagnose 11 years ago said, I’d be unusual developed for someone with AS. So I assume these days, that my ability to learn, understand AND handle human behavior is superior. Perhaps yours as well?
It is a horrible dilemma for me as well... we work on a deeply lower level than most people do. I am built to do this and it is tough to avoid it. We truly understand that deep part...just not the superficial cultural part. You see culture is like clothing for most people and we see them naked. So yeah... superior is a word that could be used.
Oh, and I never meant to say that I’m “superior” in any ways. But I’ve known many people in real life with AS.
Most of these Aspies seemed to have huge struggles with people and communication. I really could not identify myself with them.
And a minority or them are very special and socially unusual intelligent. You can imagine what kind of great conversations I had with such interesting individuals
Very nice to make your acquaintance too.
03 Jul 2020, 6:49 pm
Pepe wrote:
We are the same here.
I have no trouble looking into people's eyes, as I have mentioned elsewhere,
I have had to train myself to NOT look at people.
For me, it isn't a question of wanting to make a connection/friendship/relationship,
It is more an exercise of information gathering.
Being civil/polite is simply part of the common sense "Transaction".
I have no trouble looking into people's eyes, as I have mentioned elsewhere,
I have had to train myself to NOT look at people.
For me, it isn't a question of wanting to make a connection/friendship/relationship,
It is more an exercise of information gathering.
Being civil/polite is simply part of the common sense "Transaction".
Interesting. I can relate to that.
Pepe wrote:
That is how I see it.
We are very unusual here.
Based on what I have observed, over the decades, it is much more "Typical" for those on the spectrum to want to avoid eye contact.
We are very unusual here.
Based on what I have observed, over the decades, it is much more "Typical" for those on the spectrum to want to avoid eye contact.
At some point, I came to the conclusion, that avoiding eye-contact has to do with the overload of information we might absorb. Information we can’t process or handle. But once you can process and understand it, you can use it.
BTW Taken men keep telling me about their partner as well. It’s always kind of a weird moment like: “did they really think I want something from them?” lol
Pepe wrote:
What seems to be happening to me, and possibly you, is that we create what I call "Intellectual Bridges" which overcomes our lack of NT type intuition.
E.G.
I am very good at decoding body language,
Something that many on the spectrum have difficulty with.
E.G.
I am very good at decoding body language,
Something that many on the spectrum have difficulty with.
THAT describes it very well!
That would explain our major differences to others.
03 Jul 2020, 6:51 pm
funeralxempire
Veteran
Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 34,295
Location: Right over your left shoulder
03 Jul 2020, 6:55 pm
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
It was a warning code for funeralempire.
Since I'm in a bragging mood, you'd need more of an axe than that mere cleaver to sever this fellow's...
03 Jul 2020, 7:22 pm
Thanks for that honest reply.
Redd_Kross wrote:
Some ASD people seem to radiate "purity" - honesty, straightforwardness, and outward calm. That's often misleading. I've been told I always appear very chilled out, which is odd as inwardly I feel permanently on the edge of a panic attack. But apparently that doesn't show.
Oh well, we are very similar.
I heard it all my life that I'm calm...That was literally my image. Despite my strong emotions like huge anxiety and anger I was dealing with. People kept even mistaking me for being a pothead. lol
I wonder, how can it not show?
I don’t know you, or how it is for you.. but me personally, I always think that people can see my emotions. But they can’t.
No facial expression.. even if I’m sure I do have expression.
Redd_Kross wrote:
There's another live thread at the moment about femininity and passive behaviour. Personally I am not a great fan of women who play the bimbo card and dump all the decision making on the man. But apparently that's unusual, and men are often drawn towards women who are self-assured but nonetheless passive / submissive / vulnerable. Yes there is an inherent contradiction there. Confidence is sexy, and you might be confident, or indeed simply appear to be confident when you're not. At the same time fragility / vulnerability / virginity is a big turn-on for men who like to be in charge.
Even if that sounds a bit harsh, it’s probably the truth and might be a big issue here as well.
Redd_Kross wrote:
So effectively if you appear open but naive, you're an instant bloke magnet. In particular a sociopath / psychopath magnet. They can smell opportunities for exploitation a mile off.
Interesting point, which makes a lot of sense.
Fortunately I have the tendency to smell sociopaths / psychopaths myself a mile off.
You have to consider: my social skills and my behavior are learned since early days, so I can be a great actress. With sociopaths, psychopath and even narcissists it turns out being more of a game. Like a competition, who has the better skills to lead the other person astray. But maybe I'm wrong.
The ones I do attract are more the broken souls, addicts, people with mental problems and stalkers.
I don’t know which ones are better.
I can only think of one person that might have been a sociopath, psychopath or narcissist, that seemed to suffer from BPD or PTSD.
Redd_Kross wrote:
Where this gets tricky is in separating out the morons from the genuinely interested and sincere. If they want more and you do not, I think acceptance of that is a key element. If you say "I like you, but not like that" any man worth his salt will respect your wishes AND do his best to remain a good friend, even if that means temporarily giving you a bit of space to avoid any awkwardness. It's basically a matter of rebuilding trust then, and that takes time and patience.
Anyone who gets offended can stay that way, IMHO.
Anyone who gets offended can stay that way, IMHO.
Thank you for that supportive message.
I appreciate all the useful answers and interesting replies that were given in this thread.
03 Jul 2020, 7:29 pm
Citymale wrote:
The amount of attention from men you got by starting and continuing this thread is similar to the problem you described. Your problem is serious indeed) Lol
The LC appreciation thread
Yes I noticed that too, where are all the girls?
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