03 Mar 2010, 10:52 pm
Taupey wrote:
I have kept mine in check by trying to find as many faults as I could with them. It actually worked very well for 15 years. My last crush was my late husband. Something happened when we both found out his time was limited. I was devastated and became numb he became selfish and died angry. My crush was gone before he was.
So sorry to hear, Taupey. Although, it might be a bit unfair to disqualify people by their faults pre-emptively. Moreso to yourself than to anyone else.
I actually tend to do the opposite. I pre-emptively disqualify myself with excuses. So I should talk...
Northeastern292 wrote:
WoundedDog, I know exactly how you feel, except it seems that I tend to have a excessive bias about those in my age group. I'm trying to restrain my gaganess over my crushes, but it's hard.
A bias toward or against? I'm guessing toward.
I suppose acting on a crush may be the best way to keep it from lasting too long and becoming too annoying. I'm still trying to figure that part out, though.
Northeastern292
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03 Mar 2010, 11:18 pm
WoundedDog wrote:
Taupey wrote:
I have kept mine in check by trying to find as many faults as I could with them. It actually worked very well for 15 years. My last crush was my late husband. Something happened when we both found out his time was limited. I was devastated and became numb he became selfish and died angry. My crush was gone before he was.
So sorry to hear, Taupey. Although, it might be a bit unfair to disqualify people by their faults pre-emptively. Moreso to yourself than to anyone else.
I actually tend to do the opposite. I pre-emptively disqualify myself with excuses. So I should talk...
Northeastern292 wrote:
WoundedDog, I know exactly how you feel, except it seems that I tend to have a excessive bias about those in my age group. I'm trying to restrain my gaganess over my crushes, but it's hard.
A bias toward or against? I'm guessing toward.
I suppose acting on a crush may be the best way to keep it from lasting too long and becoming too annoying. I'm still trying to figure that part out, though.
Towards my age group. Heck, it's messed up that stereotypical college aged girls are stooping down to binge drinkers and non stop partiers. There's more to life. Heck, I still read the newspaper. And yes, I might be old-fashioned (despite being on Facebook fifty times more often than Myspace, I keep my Myspace around).
06 Mar 2010, 1:05 am
Taupey
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06 Mar 2010, 9:28 am
WoundedDog wrote:
Taupey wrote:
I have kept mine in check by trying to find as many faults as I could with them. It actually worked very well for 15 years. My last crush was my late husband. Something happened when we both found out his time was limited. I was devastated and became numb he became selfish and died angry. My crush was gone before he was.
So sorry to hear, Taupey. Although, it might be a bit unfair to disqualify people by their faults pre-emptively. Moreso to yourself than to anyone else.
I actually tend to do the opposite. I pre-emptively disqualify myself with excuses. So I should talk...
Northeastern292 wrote:
WoundedDog, I know exactly how you feel, except it seems that I tend to have a excessive bias about those in my age group. I'm trying to restrain my gaganess over my crushes, but it's hard.
A bias toward or against? I'm guessing toward.
I suppose acting on a crush may be the best way to keep it from lasting too long and becoming too annoying. I'm still trying to figure that part out, though.
Disqualifying someone is something I have done quietly to help cope with an unruly crush to make them (the object of my crush) less appealing in my mind. I also avoid them if I can. Many but not all of my crushes are on people who are ridiculously unobtainable. The way I cope often saves me a great deal of heart ache. I disqualify myself in the beginning as well.
Taupey
Taupey
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06 Mar 2010, 9:56 am
pippilngstkngpr wrote:
I don't think I have ever gone too obsessive. Well I get really interested too fast, but then when going on a date or being in relationship I am attached yet far away.
It's weird.
But at the same time I want to be close like other people are but can't or just haven't found the right guy to be close with.
But now thinking about it people tell me I get too interested too fast in a guy that I need to slow down and stop getting so attached because if it doesn't work heartbreak stinks!
It's weird.
But at the same time I want to be close like other people are but can't or just haven't found the right guy to be close with.
But now thinking about it people tell me I get too interested too fast in a guy that I need to slow down and stop getting so attached because if it doesn't work heartbreak stinks!
I know what you're talking about, the being there but being distant at the same time. All this understanding of myself is new to me. I have been on both ends of rapid interest so I do realize it (the interest) can burnout just as fast as it developed. Yes, heartbreak stinks.
Taupey
06 Mar 2010, 1:13 pm
06 Mar 2010, 7:56 pm
Taupey wrote:
pippilngstkngpr wrote:
I don't think I have ever gone too obsessive. Well I get really interested too fast, but then when going on a date or being in relationship I am attached yet far away.
It's weird.
But at the same time I want to be close like other people are but can't or just haven't found the right guy to be close with.
But now thinking about it people tell me I get too interested too fast in a guy that I need to slow down and stop getting so attached because if it doesn't work heartbreak stinks!
It's weird.
But at the same time I want to be close like other people are but can't or just haven't found the right guy to be close with.
But now thinking about it people tell me I get too interested too fast in a guy that I need to slow down and stop getting so attached because if it doesn't work heartbreak stinks!
I know what you're talking about, the being there but being distant at the same time. All this understanding of myself is new to me. I have been on both ends of rapid interest so I do realize it (the interest) can burnout just as fast as it developed. Yes, heartbreak stinks.
Taupey
Hey Taupey, glad I am not alone that. Being with someone but being far away. Yes heartbreak really does stink.. The most I hate is whenever someone broke up with me was because I wouldn't have sex with them within the first month. But they just aren't worth anything for me.
07 Mar 2010, 6:42 pm
Taupey
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Joined: 24 Feb 2010
Age: 64
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,168
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07 Mar 2010, 10:43 pm
pippilngstkngpr wrote:
Taupey wrote:
pippilngstkngpr wrote:
I don't think I have ever gone too obsessive. Well I get really interested too fast, but then when going on a date or being in relationship I am attached yet far away.
It's weird.
But at the same time I want to be close like other people are but can't or just haven't found the right guy to be close with.
But now thinking about it people tell me I get too interested too fast in a guy that I need to slow down and stop getting so attached because if it doesn't work heartbreak stinks!
It's weird.
But at the same time I want to be close like other people are but can't or just haven't found the right guy to be close with.
But now thinking about it people tell me I get too interested too fast in a guy that I need to slow down and stop getting so attached because if it doesn't work heartbreak stinks!
I know what you're talking about, the being there but being distant at the same time. All this understanding of myself is new to me. I have been on both ends of rapid interest so I do realize it (the interest) can burnout just as fast as it developed. Yes, heartbreak stinks.
Taupey
Hey Taupey, glad I am not alone that. Being with someone but being far away. Yes heartbreak really does stink.. The most I hate is whenever someone broke up with me was because I wouldn't have sex with them within the first month. But they just aren't worth anything for me.
Some people can be so shallow... I had something kinda like that happen to me in 9th grade. I'm so happy that's behind me now.
08 Mar 2010, 5:38 am
11 Mar 2010, 7:24 pm
-405- wrote:
I came across this online test, which determines how likely it is that you have Asperger's, and one of the questions that was asked was 'when you like someone, do you become obsessive and can't let them go?'. I never knew that this was a trait of Asperger's, but it certainly rings true to me. When I'm interested in a guy, I become obsessive and shamefully almost stalkerish in my behaviour. It's almost like they are my 'special interest', which I need to know everything about.
Sounds familiar.
-405- wrote:
What are your experiences with 'crushing'?
If I'm unsure if she has feelings for me, I usually get depressed because of the likeliness of her ripping apart my heart and tearing it into little pieces. If I know the feeling is mutual, I usually get extatic and she becomes the most important thing in my life until she breaks up with me and eventually rips apart my heart and tears it into little pieces. Either way, I'm f***ed so I avoid letting me emotions run loose as much as my can. Unfortunately it doesn't always work
11 Mar 2010, 7:26 pm
Taupey
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11 Mar 2010, 11:32 pm
12 Mar 2010, 5:19 am
12 Mar 2010, 5:51 pm
KittenWithAWhip
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12 Mar 2010, 5:57 pm
