Does it get easier or harder in college to find a GF?

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I know it feels like it's impossible to find love, but please keep going. Try to meet new people. Then when you'll be 25 you won't be alone because at very least you'll have some new friends.

Did you use your own advice 314pe. And how did that work out?

It did. All my life I liked being around people but last few years I started to say 'yes' more. I started to accept more invitations and I looked for social events to attend to. Previously I didn't have any friends at all and now I have a few.

Friends are worthless though. They all end up getting partners while you're left behind. Isolation is preferable to being the third wheel.

I struggled to make even friends in high school.

I suffered a lot of rejection and had a lot of failures in attempting to speak to and get to know crushes, but in my pursuit for friendship it was twice as worse.

All throughout senior year I tried to get to know people and make connections. I was negative and bitter almost the whole time, but even when optimistic and actually trying, most people simply bored me and//or weren't interested in getting to know me back.

I had acquaintances, but all I really wanted was one decent friend to actually spend time with outside of school. I tried very hard and failed at this, and no I wasn't desperate either.

And so, at the end of high school 2015 last year, in just a month after grad I realized every person I thought I was friend's with wasn't interested in speaking to me anymore.

F*ck those f*ckers. I reached out to them and they betrayed me. It's not like they all went their separate ways either, all over facebook is pictures of them all having fun together, hanging out together.

Most of them are studying at the same uni, living life, etc. and I see photos of even the one's going to different uni's still hanging out together.

After much time alone since Nov. 2015 (graduation), I have had a lot of time to think and will try harder next time around, with a more positive attitude too.

My only real social success was, like I mentioned earlier, I was on a complete role with girls, but even then not much came of that.

I got my second girlfriend very shortly before graduation, and since she dumped me a month after, that was the end of that.

I just wanted to secure one friend or a girlfriend so I wouldn't be all alone after I graduated. I succeeded, briefly - but alas, the relationship failed.

All the time I see on forums the advice to 'try' more.

I've been trying and making an effort, more than about 75% of the lonely aspie males who've never even tried to speak to a crush in their life.

I'm not making an effort right now though, because I'm doing absolutely nothing with my life. I was volunteering earlier in the year, and made sure to look my best and most confident, but it was a thrift store, my hours were mostly school hours, and most of the people who came in were middle-aged and elderly women.

What can you do? You can't just give up. You have to keep trying.

What's wrong with friends? I understand they don't provide what a lover would provide for you--but they do provide some sort of companionship, some sort of commonality, some sort of a way out of the Abyss.

I already explained what's wrong with friends; third wheel syndrome. When they get partners, I take a backseat to them. I do not particularly enjoy being around people knowing they'd much rather be spending time with their partners than me.

Have some of them introduced you to some potential dates? Partners of friends could be great for this because they may have more friends of the opposite gender.

Yeah...it can be tough hanging out with a friend and girlfriend. I know the feeling.

Sometimes, either the friend or the girlfriend might know somebody else; they might feel a desire to be a matchmaker--who knows?

But it's lots better than hanging out by your lonesome. Having friends, in and of itself, confers a certain status upon you--which helps, alas, in the search for love.

The only way to obtain love hanging out by your lonesome is to use online dating sites--or Internet forums like this one. Or to resort to some semi-creepy devices like going up to random strangers in the supermarket or something.

Asking about that makes me look like a creepy, desperate loser. Being seen as a weirdo already, I don't need to give people more ammunition to judge me with. Anyway, this is academic since I don't have friends anymore.


There was this one guy I was real good friends with for years. After he got his girlfriend, he became a lot more distant. On the occasions I did spend time with him, I frequently noticed him texting her, almost ignoring me. I've never been able to forget the feeling of worthlessness I felt from that.


Dating sites won't work. I just don't have anything to sell myself with. I haven't got looks, money, or personality. Not enough to break through the online barrier, anyway.

Suggesting this website as a place to establish a meaningful relationship is silly and you know it.

And no, I am definitely not going to be an actual creep and hit on women in public. I may be lonely and autistic, but I'm not a pig.

I don't have looks or money, either. I'm 5 foot 4.75 inches, and weigh about 185 lbs. I'm in debt up to my ears.

I think I have an okay personality--but that doesn't get me far, either.

I don't know.....I'm sure you have some redeeming traits. Emphasize those, to the exclusion of the others. There's a guy here who thinks being 5 foot 7 3/4 is a reason why he's not getting dates. I hope you don't believe you have to be a male model to obtain a date. You don't---trust me.

And I wasn't advocating asking the friend/girlfriend whether they "knew somebody." I was advocating, actually, allowing THEM to be the matchmakers.

At this point we could just end up going in circles and totally off-topic. I am well aware that men of all different shapes and sizes can get dates. I am aware that men with all sorts of different personalities and financial situations can get dates. However, when you have an aura of repulsiveness to you, both physically and in personality, and with no redeemable traits whatsoever, and not particularly well off financially, you reach a point where most self-respecting women have an awful lot of better options to chose from than yourself.

In general, I believe it would be MUCH easier to find girlfriend in college than in high school.

people in college are more grown up, usually, and have more varied interests. They don't seek to comform to the crowd so much.

And what BTDT said about clubs, too.

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 18 Aug 2016, 10:07 am, edited 2 times in total.

Colleges usually support clubs and organizations where like minded students can meet.
This may not be helpful if your interests are male dominated--but you might consider exploring other interests if you are looking for a GF. College is a great time to explore different interests.

I thought I had no redeemable qualities either, but I was wrong. Maybe someday a girl will show there's something good about you.

If you want to have an easy time finding a girlfriend in college, study nursing. There'll be 10 girls for every guy.