Rejected again, I don't know how guys do it

Post Reply New Topic

It's because it's not the lack of sex that hurts the most. Having sex with a prostitute won't solve those problems, just shorter term sexual urges. What hurts me the most is the lack of companionship with a girl. Sitting next to her, looking her in her eyes and she looking back at you and you both smile knowing you have feelings for each other, or waking up next to her. That's what hurts me more than the lack of sex.

I don't currently have a plan. Right now there are a couple girls I sometimes talk to but they don't want me as a friend as they refuse to want to spend any time together in person. Met them originally in person, but still talk via email sometimes. Most of my female friends treat me like some expendable doormat who they can dump at their convenience and I take it because I'm desperate for any female that I meet in person that will talk to me.

I was rejected by a girl once - Amber. I am extremely thankful, she is a real headcase. I would not put up with her attitude problems.

Wow. You sound and think EXACTLY like I did once. Even down to the imagery and love fantasy you have.

Lemme guess "pretty clear summer night backdrop while you are with her all by yourselves with nobody around" right?

I really think it is a lack of sex. I used to disdain men who were "players", now I find how they work and and their common thread of success fascinating. That thinking you are "better than that" and "above it" is a defense mechanism wired into you to keep you going.

What you are daydreaming about ISN'T REAL. The reality of "relationships" (I hate that word...) is much more mundane and aggravating.

Look at the reality of the girls around you. Do you honestly think they care about you or even think about you unless they need something?

I have discovered with a couple of exceptions, that no, they don't.
I'm not that gone with the fantasy thing, just the feeling of know that we are a couple. I don't think I'm better than anything. Players have a totally different personality which works for them. Good for them. I'm just saying that's not me. If it means I will have to be single forever because I don't act like a player, then that just sucks.

I was referring to folks who exhibit your feelings and common lines of thinking they display.

I didn't think you were gone with the fantasy thing. Was the image I got correct?

I recommend at least giving it a try. That desperation vibe you put off is killing you.

Idk about you but I can't just suddenly act like a player. There has to be something behind those actions. It's like asking me to suddenly start rooting for a team I dislike. Women can also sense fake confidence I believe.

Being a player, unless you want to be one - something that's usually only done to show off anyway - is pointless, and won't make anyone happier.

I'm with Quincy27 here.

Time for the ever not so popular opinion.

You say you compliment girls a lot.. and then say you like to make people feel good about themselves. I think this is incorrect, you like to compliment girls a lot hoping that they'll see you for a nice guy and be interested. Its having the reverse effect.. a lot of girls only like to be arbitrarily complimented by someone if its genuine (or someone they already like). By genuine.. I mean ask yourself, would you give a non-attractive male the same compliment?


Girls unfortunately for us.. and fortunately for them like a "dependable" mate. Whether this is someone who's extremely confident in himself, his field, or just confident generally in what he brings to the table, doesn't matter its what they like. This is why a lot of women will give "bad boys" a chance, they're protectors and in some cases providers. Also girls don't want someone dying on them, you don't have to be "the rock" dwayne johnson, but somewhat healthy and reasonable hygiene.

Therefore, you can't win a girl over with compliments as opposed to your own merits.

Also these aren't the only rules, a girl will date or be interested in a guy with those traits..but won't want to take it further if there's no real chemistry.

This isn't to say imo that nice guys can't get girls. Confidence springs from anything, you could be confident in video games IF the girl was into it. Infact this way is recommended because it gives a couple something called "shared interests". You don't have to be "balls to the wall with it", just whatever your interest is, or whatever your confidident with find ways to share and express that.

Putting a girl on a pedestal when she never reciprocates not only doesn't work but it will burn you out in a relationship.

First paragraph, that's only partially true. I compliment girls who I'm not attracted to all the time as well. I am not interested in them romantically but still want them to smile and feel good. I'm sure with the girls I am attracted to there is something with me trying to get them to see me in a more romantic light but I disagree with the notion I do it 100% of the time to try and get with the girl.
I posted a thread about a lack of shared interests I have with girls because it's true. There are things I am confident in my abilities with, but girls aren't exactly into those things. There are also guys and girls who have told me they aren't really interested in the same things but are in relationships. Maybe has something to with physical attraction helping.

oh dear..

in before lock :p

Padder

God has f****d us aspie guys over.

/thread

If you think about the big picture, god has "f****d everyone over". You aren't special.

Well, the best way for guys to "do it" is to look in the right places. Someone said to meet people at school, work, or through mutual friends. That's how most relationships start. Some girls look for guys at bars or clubs; those are the types of girls that the guys on here complain about, as if for some reason those are the types of girls they chase after. Sure, they tend to be pretty, but they go to bars trying to find a decent guy...kind of how some guys go to strip clubs to find decent girls. It doesn't matter if it's a stripper or the bartender, same difference...or they wouldn't work there. So if you are chasing the wrong girls, you will never catch up to them. Those girls want the "good guy with an edge" that playboys portray so well. I keep saying that if you don't choose the right girl, then you are doomed for failure, even if you do all the right things...which may be part of the problem, as far as giving up. That's like using a wrench to fix a squeaky floor. You need to do all the right things with all the right kinds of women.

So start at work, school, or through friends, choose the right girls (which you can only do if you, ahem, know what it is you want in a relationship- companionship/sex/hot babe isn't gonna cut it when she has lots of choices) and build up your confidence, which you can only do with practice. If you can't talk to the girls you aren't attracted to, how are you ever going to talk to the ones you are attracted to?

Actually, everybody with an affliction is special. God missed out that magic spell on the Neurotypicals.