Don't whine/complain about your dating/dateless situation

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Okay, this is why so many 19 year old guys still refuse to listen to people like you... I've gotten the "you're still a kid" treatment countless times online and offline, and that's just counting after I turned 18 and I wasn't actually a kid anymore. I don't know about you, but to be put down like that is just insulting, especially when it's on top of everything else...

Therein lies one problem I used to have, taking everything so damn seriously. I would have loved to have had someone say something like what I said to me 15-20 years ago, though the context is a bit off (I actually was making fun of Emlion's youthfulness in another thread). So anyway, I used to take everything so damn seriously too. I took everything that was said at face value and took it to heart. Sometimes people were just joking with me, sometimes they were serious, and sometimes they were even flirting with me! (in a way I didn't understand, then.)

The point in my mind was that at that young of an age, you've got sooooo much more life ahead of you, and also so much more to learn. It's not intended to be a put down, it's a fact.

there's nothing wrong with being told you're young if it's true.
i'm definitely still young - and if i can get help from someone older who has been there, i'll take it with both hands.
i don't see it as insulting.

What a b!tch. It might have been a socially awkward moment but I don't think you were the socially awkward one.

Age isn't a factor at all.

http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread679569/pg1

I don't know why people continue to get lost in fictions such as looking down on someone over an age.

Charlie sheen is older, maybe we should all start bangin 7 gram rocks just cause some guy thinks he's a genius and wants to give advice lmao

Hey I'm willing to get help from older people if they're offering it, but people use age to discredit my own experiences and opinions. That's what I find insulting...

Try not reading too much into what was said between me and Emlion.

I wasn't just specifically referring to this... I hear things like "you're young" all the time.

Forget about the age part, and focus on the experience/knowledge and the attitude part of what's being said. I may be 35, but my development in most areas is more like someone in their very early 20's. The things I've learned in the last 4-5 years are the things that many teens figure out in high school.

I certainly didn't help myself with the defeatist attitude I had. All that did was just mess me up even more, pushing off any real progress further down the road. What I wouldn't do to know then what I know now...

You have some great advice. I used to whine on here alot. I did work on myself and I am much happier now.

But its very hard not to get frustrated about lack of having someone in your life when you have gone out and done the things you have said, doing something about it and everything you try does not get you results. I was like that for awhile. Alot of people here have let out there frustration here on these forms. It does not mean they have not tryed. Thats all I'm saying.

The aspect in which I differ with the OP is that I think reading things only works to a certain extent. There's usually two kinds of advice you see in columns, manuals, and internet forums: common sense, and speculation. Common sense is helpful if you don't already know it. Speculation is what regularly leads to arguments on internet forums. I'd recommend being acquainted with the basics of social interaction in a good book or internet manual on the subject to get some sort of handle on common sense (like that a girl normally sends signals if she's attracted, and what those signals often are, that if a girl is crying it's not good to talk to her about your project work...) and then take on a hands-on approach of meeting people and going on dating sites. You'll face rejection much of the time, and may learn some hard lessons, but it's the most efficient way to go about adjusting. A couple of the better dating manuals have some clever strategies as well for making an impression on people very quickly, and that's mostly it.

I already had those books about body langauge, etc. So what? Analysing a model posing is different from watching a person in a real dynamical context, not to mention faking it.

Even if that can be done, given that I don't go to party or pubs, do I just look for signs of interest from everyone passing me by on the street?

These 'advices' are even more annoying than whining on the forum.

THIS.

except whining is an awful word. It's not beneficial at all.

^ I concur with the above. You have no idea how much advice I've received from my 14 yr old cousin on many things. She know's i'm always alone and she's made it her mission to help me get a GF. Its super-awkward but many things she's mentioned don't make much sense and its things I would've never thought of....yet they work/are true.

For example... she told me women don't like to use IM to chat but prefer phone text messages because its more 'personal'. Huh? Makes no sense whatsoever to me.. and it would've never crossed my mind. They're both text messages .

And yet, I met a girl in college... took her advice and started exchanging txt messages and in a week I was dating her. Talk about a WTF moment.

Many posters here are 10+ years younger than me and I've seen them post stuff that have really helped me ...its all about different life experiences.

I think that really the only time I consider advice from people older than me is when it comes to dealing with 'the system' ... I'd say that being twice my age or more worth of experience with all that crap does give them tenure

Don't get me wrong, I'm single and there are indeed moments of wanting someone in my life, but those moments are fleeting. I knew when I signed up for school this semester, that the odds were pretty good that I also signed up for 4 years of having little to no social/dating life. School (and the direction my life is taking) is THAT much more important than everything else.

I'm not saying that I've ruled it out, as things may happen despite myself (ie like they say, "it happens when you're not looking"), I just know where my priorities are. I have to live with myself the rest of my life, and I want that time to be as fulfilling as possible. Having someone to share that with along the way is a bonus! (and if you're enjoying life, people will be much more attracted to you than being a miserable jerk who thinks everything would be just fine if only he had a girlfriend.)

You sound like one of those annoying preachers.



Are you saying video games aren't interesting? What do you find interesting exactly? And being boring is subjective. I find parties boring for the most part but a lot of people seem to enjoy them.




I'd rather not, I find them really stupid. People can either like me for me or f-off. I don't need some stupid book to tell me how to act or talk to people.



Having 'style' is overrated in my opinion and don't see why I should 'stay' up on it. Most of these magazines do not contain anything interesting about the world so I don't know where you got that from. Looking good is subjective, I dress for me and me only.



Yeah in case you haven't noticed lots of people here already do that.



GETTING LAID! NO WAY!! 4 REAL!??

Oh wait that's right I'm not 15, and my world doesn't revolve around getting laid. And I don't wallow in my own misery, I get depressed sure but its not just because I don't have a girlfriend. Maybe I'm being a bit harsh, if this is meant for people who are really desperate for a relationship that they will do anything, fair enough. But I am not that desperate.

I agree with 01001011 I've tried all that body language stuff but it just seems like I'm faking it or I would always attract the wrong type of people.

It seems this forum has more people posting generic advice than actual whining.