Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

how do people feel about going Dutch,

Page 4 of 4 [ 60 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4

Previous topic | Next topic

ValentineWiggin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 May 2011
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,907
Location: Beneath my cat's paw

21 May 2011, 8:02 am

Sowlowsolo wrote:

Fighting for womans rights (not me personally) to me hasn't done woman that many favours. All it has done is left woman with the full list of responsibilities/duties she had before and added to these half (if not more) of the mans role! But that's all a different subject really.



I dunno...I kinda like being able to have a job...drive a car...get an education...own property...control my reproduction...not be raped...not be beaten by my husband...VOTE...open a bank account...



b9
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Aug 2008
Age: 54
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,003
Location: australia

21 May 2011, 10:17 am

if i went (became) "dutch", then i would be horrified at the ease with which my previously trusted "bedrock" based genes were re-arrangeable. if i went "dutch", what else could i become? an ant?



jrjones9933
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 May 2011
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,144
Location: The end of the northwest passage

21 May 2011, 10:39 am

b9 wrote:
if i went (became) "dutch", then i would be horrified at the ease with which my previously trusted "bedrock" based genes were re-arrangeable. if i went "dutch", what else could i become? an ant?


Kafka's The Metamorphosis rewritten with a change in nationality rather than species?

Maybe that's how a few of us managed to grow up egalitarian, socially liberal, un-prudish, and cooperatively-minded in Texas!


_________________
"I find that the best way [to increase self-confidence] is to lie to yourself about who you are, what you've done, and where you're going." - Richard Ayoade


puddingmouse
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Apr 2010
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,777
Location: Cottonopolis

21 May 2011, 10:53 am

I've never done it differently.

I honestly don't know why having a vagina means I have to have my food paid for me, even in the name of 'romance'. I'd rather have someone who's going to dance with me than someone who buys me things. *soppy

EDIT: I don't care how badly they dance, either!


_________________
Zombies, zombies will tear us apart...again.


sterfry
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Nov 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,048
Location: Western NY

22 May 2011, 1:02 am

ValentineWiggin wrote:
sterfry wrote:
What about cooking Ramen for a girl and asking her for a nickel to cover her half? That would be classy.


Sounds like my kinda guy. 8)


Then may I have the pleasure of sprinkling a packet of powdered shrimp or chicken flavoring on your noodles? And for dessert please help yourself to some of the no calorie sweetener packets I nabbed from the coffee shop. :wink:



Realistically though, if things were reversed and the girl payed for the guy it would be extremely emasculating so I can see how an independent woman might be offended. I think dutch is the way to go, but only if the guy offers to pay first and then the girl insists on splitting the check. The offer is what counts.



ValentineWiggin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 May 2011
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,907
Location: Beneath my cat's paw

22 May 2011, 9:05 am

sterfry wrote:
ValentineWiggin wrote:
sterfry wrote:
What about cooking Ramen for a girl and asking her for a nickel to cover her half? That would be classy.


Sounds like my kinda guy. 8)


Then may I have the pleasure of sprinkling a packet of powdered shrimp or chicken flavoring on your noodles? And for dessert please help yourself to some of the no calorie sweetener packets I nabbed from the coffee shop. :wink:



Realistically though, if things were reversed and the girl payed for the guy it would be extremely emasculating so I can see how an independent woman might be offended. I think dutch is the way to go, but only if the guy offers to pay first and then the girl insists on splitting the check. The offer is what counts.


I was reading some doubly-sexist mag website (Cosmo? I'm ashamed.) and one of the "horror" stories submitted involved a guy on a first date with a girl whipping out a coupon when it came time to pick up the check- all the responders were absolutely horrified, and gave the woman a way to go for never seeing him again.

Meanwhile, I'm thinking: if I ever meet a guy like that, I think I'll marry him. :D



Jonsi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Dec 2010
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,219

22 May 2011, 9:18 am

I usually pay for both of us. Doesn't matter who asks. It's just the polite thing to do for me.



sterfry
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Nov 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,048
Location: Western NY

22 May 2011, 11:08 pm

The coupon thing is definitely a no-no. Unless of course you covertly give the waiter the coupon when you sneak off to the bathroom.

I think it might be ok if you mentioned while asking for the date though as in, "I have a coupon for this restaurant I've been wanting to try out. Care to join me?"



ValentineWiggin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 May 2011
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,907
Location: Beneath my cat's paw

23 May 2011, 1:49 am

sterfry wrote:
The coupon thing is definitely a no-no. Unless of course you covertly give the waiter the coupon when you sneak off to the bathroom.

I think it might be ok if you mentioned while asking for the date though as in, "I have a coupon for this restaurant I've been wanting to try out. Care to join me?"


I think it's smart, and shows a man's frugal. 8)



CrinklyCrustacean
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Mar 2009
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,284

23 May 2011, 3:32 am

jrjones9933 wrote:
b9 wrote:
if i went (became) "dutch", then i would be horrified at the ease with which my previously trusted "bedrock" based genes were re-arrangeable. if i went "dutch", what else could i become? an ant?


Kafka's The Metamorphosis rewritten with a change in nationality rather than species?

Maybe that's how a few of us managed to grow up egalitarian, socially liberal, un-prudish, and cooperatively-minded in Texas!

:lol: :lol: :lol:



cdfox7
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Mar 2011
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,700

23 May 2011, 6:24 am

jrjones9933 wrote:
b9 wrote:
if i went (became) "dutch", then i would be horrified at the ease with which my previously trusted "bedrock" based genes were re-arrangeable. if i went "dutch", what else could i become? an ant?


Kafka's The Metamorphosis rewritten with a change in nationality rather than species?

Maybe that's how a few of us managed to grow up egalitarian, socially liberal, un-prudish, and cooperatively-minded in Texas!


Lets be Kafkaesque about that it beats being an Ein Hungerkünstler :lol:



shine_on
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jun 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 21

29 May 2011, 9:05 am

I hate the whole '50-50' thing. If a man invites me out to lunch/dinner/for coffee etc I would like him to pay because I see it as a a gift. At other times I do the same for him. Keeping track of whose 'turn' it is defeats the purpose (in my opinion) which is to show your love by giving generously.