Males with aspergers - STOP BEATING YOURSELVES UP!

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personally, i find theres no point in trying when the only outcome is failure.

I've actually had men try to pick me up with this. I wonder if it ever works...

Sorry, it's copyrighted.

oops.... I think that was instinctual.

Not sure if adding my experience will sway anyone from negativity, but I'll give it a shot.

First of all I'm a bit older than some of you who are fed up, frustrated. I've been there and dangerously so. I went through a phase when I thought perhaps I was gay...but realized, no I just love women too much. Yeah there was little to no reciprocation, but the fact was I enjoyed their company so much that it was, and is, enough for me just to try and be around them.

For me it has been a slow learning process -- years and years of struggle. I guess perhaps because I love a challenge that improving myself, and finding someone I love without 'settling' seems attainable even now.

But yeah, it wasn't always so. I think when you're young male with AS, you're being f****d over hard by your own hormones -- That is a mighty struggle! But once the hormones start to subside, there's less conflict between your mind (AS) and body (hormones) and you start to figure s**t out, about yourself and dating.

I will tell you that as I get older, it's getting easier and easier to meet women. In fact, without trying to sound bragadocious, I've see an uptick in the number of women hitting on me out of the blue -- for reasons I can't explain to be honest. Of course much of these encounters go nowhere because misread or don't pick up on something, but I'm having fun working at it nonetheless!

To each their own but you cant complain about not being able to find someone if you arent trying to find someone.

It would be like someone complaining about not being able to win the lottery without buying tickets.

Im aware that rejection sucks and all but Ive seen a glimpse of what a healthy relationship is like and I believe its worth putting up with all the rejection.

And most men don't respect you if you sleep around.

It's stupid how some men like to claim what ALL women like as if they really know all women

That is the negative attitude that makes someone less attractive. I wouldn't want to date a woman hater. I kinda want to go on a fake date with a guy and bash men into oblivion citing all men want is....

Then bring a lengthy list that I will read slowly and have it all be a bunch of negative crap that makes men look like materialistic axe murdering rapists with 10 inch toe nails and no cherries on top.

I want to see how long it would take for him to excuse himself and run out the door leaving me for good.

You know what I'd do next? I'd call him at the restaurant and proceed with the list. Then I'd leave the poor man that got away alone.

as said, back when i was trying to find someone i wouldnt even get friended. Let alone rejected from a relationship. so dont start this BS with me.

Lack of communication/social skills due to Aspergers.
Lack of confidence due to Aspergers.
Self esteem issues due to Aspergers.
Social anxiety due to Aspergers.
Avoidance of social interaction due to Aspergers.
Excessive shyness due to Aspergers.

People with Aspergers have serious issues. People with Aspergers do not really need a relationship to make their life more complicated.

Blame it all on Aspergers.

I second that. That's why I never tried anything beyond a few messages on OkCupid. As Homer Simpson said, "Trying is the first step towards failure". I'm socially ret*d and I have the same range of emotions of a brand new T-800. Therefore, I am undateable.

But I think oxytocin would solve my problems. Probably...

Ok I get it.. the males here don't want help or encouragement, they just want to wallow about a bunch of crap about women, go on and on about how awful they are or take the piss out of the thread.

You know stand back and have a look at the world for once. I think most of your problems about how crap you are at everything compared to the average man are dellusions.

Last edited by hale_bopp on 05 Jul 2011, 8:43 pm, edited 2 times in total.

This is what y'all Englanders call "sheer bloody-mindedness," right?

I've seen similar threads to this on non-Aspie websites. All this griping about the opposite sex. It's not an Aspie specific issue, just a human issue.

not at all. back in highschool i eventually got socially placed with the other unwanteds. and by the time we were out of highschool they had all had multiple good relationships, and seemed to be enjoying things. Yet while at first they considered me to be so much above them even they pushed me off that social group. If the unwanteds dont want you then there is something very wrong with you. I dont see what it is.

Fo sho. :/