Nice guys REALLY DO finish last.

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As I said before, NOTHING except success will remove bitterness. Even that won't ever remove all of it. A decade of failure and rejection and being left to rot on the backburner while everything you said would happen does. Or worse, you get taken advantage of by someone, which not only reinforces your opinions but can make them permanent structures if it happens multiple times. The more failures you have, the more likely you are to be taken advantage of, adding and adding and adding layer upon layer.

then maybe you need to temporarily remove yourself from trying to meet someone altogether, so you are not having it stew and worsen and embitter your insides. if you are really that bitter then you may be pushing away your own success.

If I wait any longer I'll be to old to bother.

Yes, for those who wish to procreate, the wait must be quite difficult. I don't understand that urge myself, but to each their own. I understand why you or any other male would be upset. I have nothing against frustration or bitterness, but I really don't believe nice guys finish last and I wish they wouldn't think that way.

I just wanted to post a little hope for the nice guys. I'm sorry if it didn't read that way.

Well seeing as how I posted this earlier this morning and didn't check untill just now, I have ALLOT of responses and sadly I will not have the time to respond to all of them. Your response was interesting and one that I was able to understand quite well.

So women are drawn to confidence and over-the-top type personalities because it seems to communicate an air of power?

Good to hear. I'm sure there are women out there but it just seems like MOST of the girls in my area like those types of guys and it it frustrating.

I am astonished to see how many replies this post has received.

Interesting, I was able to understand your analysis quite well. So women view guys who are confident (often overly), loud, over the top, and somewhat "mean and rude" to be strong? That really is a messed up way of looking at things in my opinion. I think that I am strong even if I'm not like those other guys.

Well it's act of procreation which I was referring to, even if that means with protection to prevent the actual creation of a child. The urge to have sex is hardwired into the bulk of the population of the planet, barring a few Asexuals, which aspies seem to have a preponderance of for some reason.

Hahaha wow I must live in some kind of hole in the wall if nobody has any remote idea of what kind of person I am talking about. Where I live, most of the guys are like those people on Jersey Shore. Thats what I mean by that statement.

Last edited by Ark on 21 May 2012, 9:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Exactly.

I don't consider myself weak.

Thank you for your input, it was inspiring.

Totally! You nailed it!

But that's just not true. Not for everyone, anyway. Sorry, but I've been in that position. Years of failure to connect with women. Then, once I thought I'd found someone, being used for money and cheated on repeatedly. Then years more of being alone and bitter and angry and carrying a huge grudge against all womankind. And though, like you, I didn't verbalize my negative thoughts toward them, it was like they could sense the anger coming off me anyway, and they stayed away.

It wasn't until I started thinking of women as, and treating them like, just regular people that I started having any success with them. Not putting them on a pedestal like I had done when I was young. Not blaming all of them for the actions of a relative few, like I had done more recently.

And it's not as though it was easy. It took a long time. What helped for me was finding a new social circle, spending lots of time with women without trying to, or even really thinking about trying to, connect with them on a romantic level. And spending time with new guy friends as well, where I learned that the guys who do well with women are not the a**holes I thought they were. In fact, I found those guys who attracted a lot of women tended to genuinely want to help the guys like me who were less lucky. And, slowly but surely, I started having more and more successes until I got to the point I'm at now; in a healthy happy relationship that I see lasting the rest of my life.

Point is, it wasn't success with women that fixed my mindset. It was fixing my mindset that allowed me some success.

Last edited by mds_02 on 22 May 2012, 12:34 am, edited 1 time in total.

Interesting philosophy.

For me, everything is failure until success changes it.

I didn't ride a bike until i was 24 because I was convinced I would fail, some one explained it to me concisely how to ride a bike, by twisting the front wheel back and forth ever so slightly to keep straight. Now I have no problem. My point is, It was explained to me EXACTLY how to do it, and I was able to replicate it.

I don't do trial and error. I do something right, the first time, or I don't do it again.

But like multi-variable Math Problems, which I also have extreme levels of trouble with, humans don't have a single set of instructions which works 100% of the time.

Just like math, which is the only thing in the entire world which causes me to have a meltdown as fast as women do, I try to apply the same rigid instructions over and over again even though it only works on certain problems.

It doesn't help that I'm looking for something which, when I do find, seems to only want to take advantage of me. Geeky girls who are attractive, know they are attractive, and take advantage of people like me to feed their geeky habits. Geeky girls who aren't attractive, to me, hold no interest to me except as friends. They tend to not be the best at helping some one out, when they are in turn constantly being looked over by guys they might fancy.