PICKING THE RIGHT WIFE

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Sigh... more Sly v. Angela.

The article is sickening. I don't plan on getting married and I don't plan on making enough to get married. I simply plan on making enough to support only myself and own a small home that I could share with my parents when they get too old to work. So, to begin with, the article doesn't apply to me. Yet, looking at it from a standpoint of if I wanted to be married, it's just plain sickening how he communicates his outlook on life with women.

As for Sly v. Angela - here's a middle of the road question because I feel like both of you are operating on extremes: Angela, if the man made enough to support himself and you had to work no combine the income to make it work for both of you, would that be acceptable? Or does he have to make more money than you, period?

Sly, unless you have the hots for Angela, drop it. And if you do, still drop it because the disconnect between you two is too large to be bridged. She's almost twice your age so I doubt you two will be shacking up anytime ever. Let other people have their desires and standards regardless of how offensive you may view them. It may be strange that a middle aged NT is here to you and I but let people look for their socialization where they please. She's not harming anyone as far as I can tell.

Like what?

Yes. No two people are going to make the exact same amount. I only work two days a week (weekend) and I make a good income. I have the ability to make more than what I make by picking up extra shifts, but I choose not to. However, if my "Hunny" wanted to do something or buy something (vacation,etc) I would definitely pick up extra shifts to help pay for it and do my part. I don't want someone who makes less because then I would feel like I were their mother. I want someone who is going to equally contribute and not by having to work 3 jobs that will take up all of their time and we can't be together.

I think one of my problems for not being able to find someone is that my work schedule clashes with the guys who have normal jobs of 9-5 during the week.

If you didn't combine incomes, how are you going to buy a house together? Supporting himself (if he doesn't care about where he lives or what he drives or what he wears) could mean only $10,000 a yr. A couple has to agree on a place to live, what they will drive, if they were to have kids then what?

The way I have thought about it (I have thought for years about this) is that there is an account that each puts in a certain percent of their paycheck and that goes towards the bills. Then each has their own account where a percent goes into that from their paycheck and that can be used for whatever they want to buy or do. There has to be a combining of paychecks - it can't be done separately.

PS: That's really nice that you care about your Ma and Pa like you do.

But you can't contribute equally financially because no two people are going to make the exact same amount. I'm sorry but I don't understand your logic. I'm not saying that it's wrong or bad, I'm trying to understand how "at least the same income" is equality. Are you saying that you wouldn't date a person who makes considerably more than you do? What if you're compatible otherwise?

I know what you mean. I work full time and I study full time. Ideally, I'd like someone similarly ambitous, but it's very difficult to arange a date with a person like that. I can get by with very little sleep, but most people can't.

I only want someone who makes what I do when I'm working part-time and I don't think that is asking too much. I'm able to make more if necessary. The other person has to be able to make at least the same in case one of us got sick and had to bring in enough income to support both.

"At least the same" means you wouldn't put up with someone who made less than you, but you'd still expect him to put up with you if you made less than him. So much for equality.

This is a typical woman sense of "equality"

This article is full of wrong & incorrect & lacks of detailed context.

For most people, currently, and these days, absolutely no good reasons currently exist to get married.

Also, the article is full of wrong & incorrect & false-assumptions, such what I am about to mention...

Cougars are also NOT mere inventions. I should know due to how much experience I have with the ladies.

I don't feel like writing out a long & detailed essay today but as far as any longer-term association with ME goes...:

・　I expect people to be able to pick up after themselves & put their s**t away & not make a mess everywhere
・　For women who want my children I would certainly like to make sure she/they would first make (a) good mother(s)
・　Did I mention that I don't like it when people make unnecessary messes everywhere ?
・　People who always go out of their way to find the stupidest things to complain about need not apply
・　I expect people to take care of their health so smokers & alcoholics & drug-users will not be intimate-level life-partners
・　I like when a lady maintains beautiful long hair (the longer the better, and if not, then long-haired wigs work, too)
・　All excessively argumentative-types also need not apply
・　Anybody who is willfully-ignorant also need not apply
・　I prefer it when anybody living in the same house-hold can help me keep the kitchen-area in particular spotlessly clean (and those who make a huge mess of the kitchen after I have cleaned it to a professional-level of spotlessness need not apply)

Anyway, the article is full of wrong & incorrect, and lacks detailed etimology, does not make any mention of changes of social-trends over the centuries, nor does it go over sufficient-analysis of the different definitions of the various words used according to government/legalese versus religious-definition versus various other contextual-definitions, etc.

indeed its ok if he makes a little more but if he makes a little less its over.

easier said then done when you see it everywhere you go. i guess I talk to here because I can. I can't talk to all the women in public or the women on dating sites about it, but I can talk to people here, I can stick up for myself and others who struggle to get middle class jobs and likely never will. to fight against this idea that we are not good enough and sub human just because we don't make enough. like to see what they'd do with out cashiers, food makers, janitors, bus drivers, etc. how will you buy you food if its not out on the shelf and there's no one to check you out, or help you find something. what will you do when your trash in hte office is overflowing everywhere. in my state how will you get gas, no more hot food or fast food, better greet, seat, and wait yourself at restaurants. reality is the world runs on low class people who work their buts off so the middle class can live so great.

the stuff she says harms me and others like me who just read and don't post.

anytime I see her or others talk about how they want equality and a guy who makes good money or talk about how there's no good men or real men. then I'll speak up. I refuse to just keep my mouth shut and take the equality and hate at least not here. when you tell someone they worthless it hurts them, low class are humans with feelings too.

No, it's not too much. Actually, it sounds as if you're working less than you'd like to make it easier.

is she always working part time? what does she make part time? what if she makes 10k working part time. expecting a guy to make 10k would be hard given the economy . I imagine most guys making 10k amonth are married already.

lots and lots of variables.

if she just wants a guy who makes 1k a month no problem many people working part time make that much but I doubt that is what she makes part time.

men however would be fine with women who make nothing. but women wont' accept a man who makes even 1 dollar less then them. i just don't' get why. why does equality work on way only. should her bf leave her if she makes less or he starts to make more is it ok for guys to hold her to the same standard? but no its not. because then they would want her to make more then them and that would be bad. lol but if its not ok to hold her to the same standard is it equality?
equal would be holding both people to the same standard, but this standard is impossible to hold both people to. as both people cant' make more then each ther. as its impossible. its a paradox. error error error.

so equal would be willing to take a man who makes somewhat less then her. as that is what she expects a guy to do.

I only expect from women what I would expect from myself.

I dont' really have it out for her, I just don't like her unequal superficial standards. I bet if it wasn't for that we'd get along ok. shame really. more friends are always nice to have.

married women don't' tend to have these standards. at least the nice ones. usually they with poorer men or dont' care. guess they realized love is more important then paradox standards idk. maybe she'll meet some rich guy who only cares if women have nice bodies. to superficial standards should end up together. really if both keep the meeting the stadards they'll be happy so its not like I wish bad on them. or if she can be happy alone thats good too. I do want her happy. I want everyone happy.

I know I'll never get to be happy I'm not suppose to be I make sure not to get happy. I don't want to upset the world. worthless men shouldn't' be happy.

I do hope one day the majority of women can move pass such superficial standards and get with the times. like what happen with the civil rights movement. I hope one day we'll have true gender equality.

I think the subject of job and money shouldn't come up til you've dated for a while and you can see if you're compatible. heck one might find oneself loving the person and find that money and job isn't that big of an issue anymore. women "say" they wouldn't leave a man if they loved him. so love trumps money, so maybe if they let themselves love a guy they'd find that same logic to be true for starting a relatinship.

just like guys may find they might love a fat woman if they gave her a chance instead of saying no you're not skinny enough.

anyways I grow tired of this depressing matter but I won't be around for many more years and your'e be free of another worthless burdensome man.

Once you develop your skills enough into becoming a « player/womaniser » who knows how to please a woman's body, believe it or not, you can get yourselves what might be called a « sugar-mama » who pays for all of your needs & things, although typically this will usually be in the form of having an affair with a women who uses her husband's money in order to pay for your stays in hotels, etc. I think that ALL guys should factually hone/tune/develop their womaniser-skills, and get experience, especially when they are not in or have not had any relationships.

Although it is true that a guy's happiness is related to his independence, that happiness does not come from the obtainment of a lady, but from the fact that the guy has the means & freedom to be able to make his own choices, and it should be noted that there factually are alternative ways of becoming independent, provided you learn how to barter with others for what you need (for example, when I was living in a car, I used to post ads on Craig's List explaining my situation, simply requesting that I be allowed to use a kitchen to cook, plus I would wash up all of the dishes afterwards, because it was a hell of a lot cheaper to eat food bought from a grocery store that was cooked, and probably healthier, too, rather than spending money at restaurants, and in fact, you can even negotiate with restaurant-owners about washing dishes in exchange for a meal [off-the-record or what is called under-the-table], etc).

Unfortunately, American-society is NOT taught how to be resourceful at all, especially not the « smart™ » people who learned everything about life from college (because book-smart people are a bunch of dumb-ass mother-fuckers with absolutely zero sense of street-smarts who couldn't survive for very long without living some sort of hand-me-down inheritance life-style), but perhaps « karmic-factors » may be at work to keep people so willing to refuse to put forth any efforts into developing an intellect, and thinking...

P.S.: A lady will stay with you IF you can both give her satisfaction & show some damn confidence, and the more consistently confident you are, the more she will want to keep you, regardless of your « social-status » (but if you are constantly complaining about how you will never be able to make more than minimum-wage, well, that is a demonstration of a LACK with your Confidence-Levels, full of in-the-box thinking, like as-if the only answers are contained with a box, like as-if the answers can only be found within a book, but more on this another day).

1. don't want to be a womanizer.
2. don't want to be part of a woman cheaitng
3. not good looking enough to be a woman's side dish.

not sure what you're on about with that independent stuff o.O

um so be emotionless. distant and hardly see her and she'll want to keep you around . whats the point? i could have that with strange women if just do as RDOS said and imagine it . real relationship is reconizing your man is a human with emotions and can't be confident about everything all the time

confidence is from success experinece. which I have non of in th world of employment and dating. so no confidence to get from failure expeince. and lots of people work min wage their whole lifes, work ther butts off at it too. thats my future, or slightly above min wage thats if I can get a job at all and its seeming very unlikely at this point even to the professionals who all they do is get people jobs. though again I DON'T COMPLAIN TO POTENTIAL DATES.
in fact all the women I went on dates with said I seems super confident. I joke and talk alot make them laugh and smile. its just they wont' let me get to that point because I don't' make enough. those few women didn't care about money. though were weren't compatible enough. still I am able to give women good dates and I am able to make them horny.

I like working I don't care if i work min wage doens't bother me. i make enough to do and buy the things I want. probelm is i dont' get enough hours at my current job. but the problem with dating is women don't think its good enough. which makes me feel depressed. to know no matter how much i try no matter how much i work I'll never be good enough for any single woman. so how I am I suppose to feel confident in the face of that?

pretty sure if you got enough people to tell anyone they suck over and over and over they'd lose their confidence too. go into a surgey room and have a bunch of other doctors and nurses all tell the surgen he suck and should quit. see how long he stays confident in his skills. enough negativity will get to anyone and I've had more then enough for many lifetimes.