What is "approaching"?

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auntblabby
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24 Mar 2016, 8:43 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

I believe you have to see the world with a forward-looking face. That way, you could see the Horizon. If you face goes downward, all you can see is the ugly ground with all the dirt.

that reminds me of the classic sakamoto kyu song "ue o muite aruko" ["i look up when I walk"]-

auntblabby
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24 Mar 2016, 8:53 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

Ironically, you see that attitude most intensely with people who actually live in the projects.

I read it works both ways there, each "side" scorns the other for being either "acting white" or for not jerking themselves up by their bootstraps. that is IMHO a form of "east is east, west is west, and never the twain shall meet."

kraftiekortie
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24 Mar 2016, 8:56 pm

Indeed.

Outrider
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27 Mar 2016, 6:17 am

I think we can generally agree here that approachng generally is difficult or sucks.

I at least just ask that females give me a sign if interested but its either theyre the loud extroverts who catcall or quiet shy ones who look but leave me unsure if they are lookimg out of curiosity, because i was looking, becos I am being odd or creepy, or genuine interest. I need more signs than a neutral look. A smile at least would help.

kraftiekortie
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27 Mar 2016, 9:42 am

You have some really forward girls/women over there in Aussieland!

It is EXTREMELY rare to see women catcall guys.....even near bars, and even when they're drunk.

Spiderpig
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27 Mar 2016, 12:00 pm

In fact, they're more likely to do it sarcastically, to make fun of some loser who'll obviously never attract a woman.

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Jacoby
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27 Mar 2016, 4:52 pm

Initiating any relationship with anybody is hard

Like what "shared activity" do people even do? I feel like technology has made everybody so antisocial, if you're not winning at social media then you are not winning at life pretty much. There comes a point where your social capital is gone and starting from scratch is almost impossible.

auntblabby
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27 Mar 2016, 9:04 pm

Spiderpig wrote:

In fact, they're more likely to do it sarcastically, to make fun of some loser who'll obviously never attract a woman.

QFT

rdos
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28 Mar 2016, 6:10 am

Jacoby wrote:

Like what "shared activity" do people even do? I feel like technology has made everybody so antisocial, if you're not winning at social media then you are not winning at life pretty much. There comes a point where your social capital is gone and starting from scratch is almost impossible.

That's wrong. If you stop believing in the "mass-dating hypothesis", and realize that for us quality is everything and compatible interests and social views is of minor importance, then you will have better success. You only need to meet ONE compatible girl, and it can happen anywhere.

The "social capital" is totally useless, and what counts is to develop useful ways to detect compatible girls. In essence, if you improve your NT social skills, you will only have more failures with NT-girls, and you might even hide your natural preferences so your chances of finding compatible girls reduces.

Outrider
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28 Mar 2016, 8:04 am

Jacoby wrote:

This. I find this generation to be so anti-social and stuck on their phones, making a lot of people miss out on opportunities.

I don't share interests with the vast majority of people.

My ideas for perfect dates are exploring a new area, going for a peaceful walk, sitting in a park together, finding a spot in town and making funny videos together, walking around a safe city from sunrise to sunset and early night just talking and getting to know one another and catching a bus or city train randomly and spontaneously to different locations around the city, playing sports together, finding some good spots and doing parkour/freerunning, gym session (yup, as a 'date'), shared meditation session, hitting the town on a Friday night to do random stuff, e.g. hitting whatever restaurants at random, bowling at 10pm, etc.

Not this dinner and movie bullsh*t.

I understand coffee being universally popular as it's 'light' and 'casual' but I find a walk to have the same effect.

rdos
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28 Mar 2016, 9:09 am

auntblabby wrote:

Spiderpig wrote:

In fact, they're more likely to do it sarcastically, to make fun of some loser who'll obviously never attract a woman.

QFT

Yes, that's most likely. When it is the "real thing", it's typically nonverbal and cryptic. I'd say verbal catcalling by women is almost always sarcastic, and especially if it is NTs doing it. Personally, I have only a single example against that rule, and then it was somebody neurodiverse doing it just to attract attention.

kraftiekortie
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28 Mar 2016, 9:20 am

I like dinner and a movie LOL

rdos
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28 Mar 2016, 10:14 am

Walking or sitting in a park beats dinner and a movie every time.

kraftiekortie
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28 Mar 2016, 10:16 am

I like walking and sitting in a park, too.

I also like chasing women with whom I'm on a date on, and hearing them laugh