New co-worker and more anxiety

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Marknis,

I'm quite new here and have no issue with you and no knowledge of the forum politics at play here. I'll just give my experience with girls, as I feel we were in a similar position, and hopefully you can take something from them.

I was about 250lbs, I was trying to cover up a rapidly receding hairline and I didn't care much for how I dressed. I had no confidence in myself and low self-esteem. No girl had gone near me for quite some time. I decided that it would never happen so I might as well look after myself. I dropped to around 200lbs (still overweight for my height but more chubby than fat), shaved my head and bought some new clothes. I went out to a bar with a couple of friends and for the first time in my life I was hit on (it was incredibly uncomfortable) and then a couple of weeks later I met a girl and we had a relationship. The relationship failed because I was still insecure. I tied myself into knots with anxiety and it exhausted her eventually. Since then I've had other girls interested but I know that I need to sort out my mental health as well as continue to work on my physical health because I'm not interested in a one night stand or to have a short relationship that ends with me broken hearted again. My advice to anyone in a similar situation is to just focus on yourself for a bit. Build your confidence and work on your appearance. Someone will notice eventually.

This is some good, real advice from someone who has been in your situation. I’d take it and give it a go.

While it is good advice -- very good, in fact -- I think that Marknis has fallen back to his default tactic. That is, he seems to have abandoned this thread and started another.

No, I haven't. I had a good rest and was going to reply to what Norwich and hale_bopp were saying until you showed up. Stop jumping to conclusions. I am not wasting anymore of my life on you and goldfish.

I wish you could just erase all the crap that's happened to you in high school, and just start over.

Think of the crap like crud in a frying pan. Just soak it in water for a couple of days....then put the crud in the garbage, or down the drain.

I wish you could just erase all the crap that's happened to you in high school, and just start over.

Think of the crap like crud in a frying pan. Just soak it in water for a couple of days....then put the crud in the garbage, or down the drain.

Marknis,

I'm quite new here and have no issue with you and no knowledge of the forum politics at play here. I'll just give my experience with girls, as I feel we were in a similar position, and hopefully you can take something from them.

I was about 250lbs, I was trying to cover up a rapidly receding hairline and I didn't care much for how I dressed. I had no confidence in myself and low self-esteem. No girl had gone near me for quite some time. I decided that it would never happen so I might as well look after myself. I dropped to around 200lbs (still overweight for my height but more chubby than fat), shaved my head and bought some new clothes. I went out to a bar with a couple of friends and for the first time in my life I was hit on (it was incredibly uncomfortable) and then a couple of weeks later I met a girl and we had a relationship. The relationship failed because I was still insecure. I tied myself into knots with anxiety and it exhausted her eventually. Since then I've had other girls interested but I know that I need to sort out my mental health as well as continue to work on my physical health because I'm not interested in a one night stand or to have a short relationship that ends with me broken hearted again. My advice to anyone in a similar situation is to just focus on yourself for a bit. Build your confidence and work on your appearance. Someone will notice eventually.

I lost about the same amount. Did you find that as well as people finding you more attractive for dating (which I was prepared for), that people in general treat you better as if you are a more worthwhile person? I did and found it very upsetting as I hadn't realised that people had been valuing me less because of how I looked (other than potential mates).

And contrary to what Fnord and goldfish think, I've never shot you down, kraftiekortie.

I find this more helpful than simply being told "Forget about it."

LOL...I didn't mean fat, Fluffy.

I meant....the stuff that accumulates when you cook and burn things.

And, as you know, Dawn is good on getting rid of the grease.